JuneBug79 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Been seeing this guy for a month or so now. We started dating and I got a little weird on him because I'm actually in a long divorce process right now. He decided I wasn't ready for a relationship yet and wanted to just stay friends. He will go out of his way to say things like "for now" and " you never know what will happen in the future." So we've stayed friends... sort of... it's almost turned into FWB really, which I really don't like it going down that path, because I keep reading everywhere that there is no going back from that. We really only see each other once or twice a week and it's usually spent talking/cuddling/having sex. He texts me but not as much as he used too. One night we were talking about the movie wedding crashers and he jokingly compared me, when we first started talking, to the "stage 5 clinger" girl and I was like WHAT?! He then stated "Yeah, but they get married in the end." Actually he brings up how he wants to get married again someday quite a bit. Anyway last night I told him that I couldn't continue this and that I deserve more from someone. He said "Yes you do, but I still don't think you are ready" (2nd time he has said that) Then he acted like I was rejecting him or something. Isn't he supposed to be telling me that "He's not ready for a relationship", not trying to tell me how I feel?! I'm SO CONFUSED by this man! I just need input. I want to say he likes me because that's what I want to believe... but I feel this is in dangerous territory for me and maybe he's playing a little bit of dirty emotional game on me. I'm thinking the best thing for me to do is walk away. I've been trying the whole being unavailable thing and not contacting him thing and he always gets in touch with me... which tells me he has some level of interest. I know none of you are in his head, trust me, but do you suppose I'm like the backburner girl or is it that he doesn't want to be a rebound?
runningfar Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Been seeing this guy for a month or so now. We started dating and I got a little weird on him because I'm actually in a long divorce process right now. He decided I wasn't ready for a relationship yet and wanted to just stay friends. He will go out of his way to say things like "for now" and " you never know what will happen in the future." So we've stayed friends... sort of... it's almost turned into FWB really, which I really don't like it going down that path, because I keep reading everywhere that there is no going back from that. We really only see each other once or twice a week and it's usually spent talking/cuddling/having sex. He texts me but not as much as he used too. One night we were talking about the movie wedding crashers and he jokingly compared me, when we first started talking, to the "stage 5 clinger" girl and I was like WHAT?! He then stated "Yeah, but they get married in the end." Actually he brings up how he wants to get married again someday quite a bit. Anyway last night I told him that I couldn't continue this and that I deserve more from someone. He said "Yes you do, but I still don't think you are ready" (2nd time he has said that) Then he acted like I was rejecting him or something. Isn't he supposed to be telling me that "He's not ready for a relationship", not trying to tell me how I feel?! I'm SO CONFUSED by this man! I just need input. I want to say he likes me because that's what I want to believe... but I feel this is in dangerous territory for me and maybe he's playing a little bit of dirty emotional game on me. I'm thinking the best thing for me to do is walk away. I've been trying the whole being unavailable thing and not contacting him thing and he always gets in touch with me... which tells me he has some level of interest. I know none of you are in his head, trust me, but do you suppose I'm like the backburner girl or is it that he doesn't want to be a rebound? It doesn't matter. This could be him protecting himself... it also would be just what a guy would say to keep you where it's easy. Don't accept less than what you want. No friends with benefits if you want to be more than friends. Tell him that you feel you're ready (what is he your daddy deciding for you?)... if he doesn't move, tell him you'll look him up later, and you are moving on.
crude Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 You're in the process of getting a divorce, why jump into another exclusive relationship? Relax and enjoy a friendship. Your desire to save him for a "the one" relationship after the other "the one" fizzled is a recipe for disaster. If you like the guy, just enjoy a friendship. Marriage didn't work out so well for you, so give it a break.
PogoStick Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 He's in it for the sex and once you start pulling away he'll be trying to keep you around. Even if he'd looking for a relationship, he doesn't see you as that girl for whatever reason.
sid3 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 He's in it for the sex, I foresee a pump and dump ending.
CarrieT Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Been seeing this guy for a month or so now. We started dating and I got a little weird on him because I'm actually in a long divorce process right now. He is right. You aren't ready for a relationship because you are still in one. You aren't a 100% possible prospect until you are completely and totally free - and that truly won't happen the day you are divorced but some time after that. A person needs to be single and on their own for a while before they are ready for a relationship. You are a long way from that if you are still technically married.
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