Author sammie234 Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 i hear yall and took my decision...i cant act like u re wrong for what u say,thanks for ur help!
Author sammie234 Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 @ Eternal Sunshine this has happened to me before! he had said lets have sex,but we re just friends,and i was laughing..hmm interesting u b*ng somebody then u re all friends,luckily i didnt get hurt at this case back then,i didnt have sex and i let him get all mad he wants he didnt have it and that i played with him...but ladies thats what these ppl desrve...as u ve said we shouldnt settle for less and compromise,i strongly agree!
NoMoreJerks Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 i hear yall,i do see your point. the reason why its so hard for me to believe he s a piece of sh*t is that he wasnt like that at the beggining at all,i was seeing the feelings and the interest,i was the one holding myself back and showing him i use him for sex. and yes i should find out what kind if feelings are those he says he has,cause i do have feelings for my friends too. from the other side not fighting for the one u like is easy and leaving/giving up easier...but nothing comes free in this life,everything needs a hustle,thats how u appreciate it more when u have it...at this case im unsure too if i ll ever have it OK, listen, I'm just trying to help you, so don't hate me for the advice I'm giving based on my experiences, because your case reminds me of my experiences, and I didn't know any better. If, after hearing the advice, you still want to go your own way and do the thing you want, I can totally understand that. I did that myself, because I couldn't live with the "what ifs" that would result if I didn't do things my way and instead went with what others suggested. In fact, I would probably do that again. So I completely understand. That said, my ex was also not like that in the beginning either. In fact, for most of the 6 months that we went out, he was not like that. But he had issues (as do I -- not saying I don't!). The problem is that these things start out in a sort of a honeymoon daze. Plus, it could be that he WAS looking for someone to spend time with (and have sex with), but only that, not more. Maybe you did too, at first, because you were just getting to know each other. So it was great for you as well. But once you started having more expectations that this would evolve into a full-blown relationship, the two of you started seeing things differently. You were no longer on the same page. That's when conflicts, misunderstandings, breaks, break-ups, etc. start/happen. I'm not saying he is the devil reincarnate, but if his intentions were mere companionship (from the very start), then he should've communicated that to you. The thing is, few women would want to be willing companions to someone who is not willing to do a relationship, especially where the woman is in her early 30s and is getting a bit anxious about her biological clock ticking and wants kids. In this sense, my ex was very unfair and selfish, because he knew that's what I wanted and yet he played me for 6 months. Until it became too much of a hassle for HIM. He would never have ended it if it hadn't been a hassle for him. The same is probably true for your bf/ex. So the real question is: are you willing to settle for just being a FWB+ (by plus I mean, FWB upgraded: not just sex but also companionship)? If yes, then try to talk to him and offer that. If not, begging and pleading will make little or no difference in the long run. It might make him stay out of guilt (or because he thinks, oh well, why the hell not, if she wants to keep on having sex with me??) but in the long run he will eventually break up with you if it gets too much for him. Giving up on someone you love is harder than fighting for him. Trust me on that one as well. I fought for him with all my strength. Inthe end, I could no longer recognize myself, and my friends told me that as well. I changed so much of myself, just to keep him satisfied/happy, but even that was not good enough. But you know what? That was easier than giving up on someone you love. I would've kept doing that, but I realized that he does not love me and I cannot MAKE him love me. I do not want that for him, and I do not want that for myself. If he does not love me 6 months into a relationship, he will never love me. I let go of him, and told him that, when he broke up with me. I told him, 2 days ago, that I will let go of him because I love him and want what is best for him, even if that means we wouldn't be together. That was love speaking. I can't keep on smothering him and stalking him. He has made up his mind and I have to respect that and wish him the best. That's harder than fighting for him. Believe me on that.
NoMoreJerks Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 This reminds of a man that told me that he has feelings for me like he would have for a sister. Yet our whole relationship was based on sex. :sick: My ex didn't say sister, but he said " good friend." Guess he's in the habit of f*cking good friends....!
Author sammie234 Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 @ no more jerks i appreciate u sharing this with me,i feel sad u went through this and it sounds scarier than my case since it lasted longer...im thinking that if he s really a quality as a person and respect himself and me,he ll come back himself and he ll suggest better things for this,if he ll never show up there he goes in the trash can of my mind!
Author sammie234 Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 if he ll not get back at me himself and try to communicate and come up with better more respectful conditions for himself and MYSELF too,then he def goes in the trash can of my mind along with all of the rest of the trashy ppl...we dont need more ppl like that,they should be out of our lives in a heartbeat
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