Boyfriend broke up with me after three years..

[Wallflower23]

Okay so I am going to try my best to type everything out in the shortest way I can. This is my first post and I just really want honest answers

 

So I went out with my ex for just over 3 years. I am in my third year of college and him in his second (he took a year off). I am pre-med and he is film. we go to different colleges but we are in the same city.

 

In the month of September he was acting really cold to me. Not calling and getting very short tempered. In the beginning of October, he said he needed a break to focus on his job and school. Me I don't really believe in them, but gave it a shot. He asked me not to see anyone else, and of course I asked to the same of him and he said, of course. Over the four weeks he was telling me just how much he missed me and was excited to see me again off and on while being in no contact. When the day came to see each other again, he broke it off completely and I was really caught off guard. When he left I was distraught, but I knew I had to start the grieving process. So I deleted everything and blocked him on Facebook. Almost two weeks into the break up rumors were going around that he was seeing a girl while we were together. Me I hate rumors so I went to the source myself. I asked the girl nicely and she was willing to give me all the information I asked for. I asked if they hooked up and she said yes, and that was during the time my bf and I were together. She asked me if everything was alright because I signed off quickly and I told her why. She immediately went to go talk to my ex. My ex told her that this was not true and then she proceeded to tell me that I was wrong. In my defense it is hard to see it when the girl gave you a complete time line first hand. So I went off the radar for a while and one night at 4:35am I get a four min voice mail from my ex saying that he never cheated, things only happened after, that he loves and still cares for me. I chose to write him a short letter wishing him well and what have you. They got into a relationship shortly after he broke up with me.

One of his friends from high school told me about the girl he is with now, saying that he tutored her and told me she is the type of girl to "be a heartbreaker. She knows she is pretty and uses it to the fullest. She is unable to do pure academics. Why do you think she is film?". Yes this made me laugh, but didn't really make a difference.

Over the next couple weeks my friends got talking to my ex and he even told them he is confused and still cares very much for me.

A little after the break up I have gotten very suck and have been in and out of the hospital a couple times. This news has gotten to my ex and I have gotten half assed texts asking me if I was okay? I chose to call him because frankly the text messages were only pissing me off. I told him over the phone that he was only half assing it and he started to cry, saying that he still loves and cares. I sent him off saying that I wish him well.

 

So I am kinda confused here. I know I should move on because why would I want a guy who left me for another girl? Who sounds confused and what not? What do you think he is thinking?

 

He tells my friends that he is, but I am not sure what to do for myself. I have been trying to heal properly. My friends say that he is clearly drowning his emotions in her to get over you and it won't last. I don't want to dwell on that fact.

[MyAngel]

When you mentioned him becoming distant, I immediately thought there could be someone else. I've done a fair bit of reading on this forum and that is often, sadly, one of the reasons.

 

Maybe he had feelings for her during your relationship and he only acted on it after your break. Maybe he took a break to pursue the new woman. Maybe he is having second thoughts now as he misses you and she is not as good as he thoughts.

 

It's up to you if he asks you to take him back. Maybe he is truly sorry. But can you forgive this if he does want you back? Can you move past it?

[Wallflower23]

I am not sure what to think. He is in a relationship with her now, so what are the odds of him coming back, if he does?

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Okay so I am going to try my best to type everything out in the shortest way I can. This is my first post and I just really want honest answers

 

So I went out with my ex for just over 3 years. I am in my third year of college and him in his second (he took a year off). I am pre-med and he is film. we go to different colleges but we are in the same city.

 

In the month of September he was acting really cold to me. Not calling and getting very short tempered. In the beginning of October, he said he needed a break to focus on his job and school. Me I don't really believe in them, but gave it a shot. He asked me not to see anyone else, and of course I asked to the same of him and he said, of course. Over the four weeks he was telling me just how much he missed me and was excited to see me again off and on while being in no contact. When the day came to see each other again, he broke it off completely and I was really caught off guard. When he left I was distraught, but I knew I had to start the grieving process. So I deleted everything and blocked him on Facebook. Almost two weeks into the break up rumors were going around that he was seeing a girl while we were together. Me I hate rumors so I went to the source myself. I asked the girl nicely and she was willing to give me all the information I asked for. I asked if they hooked up and she said yes, and that was during the time my bf and I were together. She asked me if everything was alright because I signed off quickly and I told her why. She immediately went to go talk to my ex. My ex told her that this was not true and then she proceeded to tell me that I was wrong. In my defense it is hard to see it when the girl gave you a complete time line first hand. So I went off the radar for a while and one night at 4:35am I get a four min voice mail from my ex saying that he never cheated, things only happened after, that he loves and still cares for me. I chose to write him a short letter wishing him well and what have you. They got into a relationship shortly after he broke up with me.

One of his friends from high school told me about the girl he is with now, saying that he tutored her and told me she is the type of girl to "be a heartbreaker. She knows she is pretty and uses it to the fullest. She is unable to do pure academics. Why do you think she is film?". Yes this made me laugh, but didn't really make a difference.

Over the next couple weeks my friends got talking to my ex and he even told them he is confused and still cares very much for me.

A little after the break up I have gotten very suck and have been in and out of the hospital a couple times. This news has gotten to my ex and I have gotten half assed texts asking me if I was okay? I chose to call him because frankly the text messages were only pissing me off. I told him over the phone that he was only half assing it and he started to cry, saying that he still loves and cares. I sent him off saying that I wish him well.

 

So I am kinda confused here. I know I should move on because why would I want a guy who left me for another girl? Who sounds confused and what not? What do you think he is thinking?

 

He tells my friends that he is, but I am not sure what to do for myself. I have been trying to heal properly. My friends say that he is clearly drowning his emotions in her to get over you and it won't last. I don't want to dwell on that fact.

 

Welcome to LS! These people on here have helped me out so much during my rough times, and I'm sure they will here too. First, I want to apologize for the male population for this kind of behavior. It's funny that MOST of the BU stories on here are defiantly around this age group. It's REALLY tempting to try and be loyal when you have 1,000 of members of the opposite sex around you. I've always believe in true love/strong relationships and during my college time, I dated someone I was NOT happy with, but I stayed because I believed we could work it out. NEVER would I try to pull this....

 

ANYWAYS, I think what you are doing is exactly what needs to be done. He seems like he already second guessing a little bit. You have the "power" currently. He thinks that you are not caring about it and now he is wondering whether or not he made the right decision. That's the good part for you. Keep healing with how you are doing it. Keep going into this knowing you will be better whether or not he is in your life. Then, from what it looks like, when he realizes his mistake, you will have the option of whether or not you want to take him back.

[Samilia]

Same here, distant, short temper, asking for a break.. I immediately thought.. "ah, he wants a break to explore the new girl territory.." and .. bingo!

 

I wouldn't look back, I wouldn't buy his remorse, he cheated, lied, and .. that'd be enough for me to find another partner. Or even better, take the time to study and finish med school.