starofmylife Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Just need some advice. I have been married to my husband for 9 almost 10 years. I have fought a battle with porn most of the marriage. I was able to block it on the computer with a program. Well now he has a smart phone and every time I walk out of the room hes on his phone. He has it in his hand all the time. I know hes masturbating to it almost daily. Then when I approach him to have sex with me he says hes tired. I'm so lost and confused. I don't want this to end my marriage but I don't know what else to do. He says he loves me and he lies to me and tell me he does not masturbate to porn that he would not hurt me in that way. Any advice from ladies that have been where I am now
oldshirt Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 I am not a lady but rather a guy who likes real life sex. You actually have serveral layers of issues and problems here. Only one of which is him watching porn. In fact I have the feeling the porn is the least of your issues. 1
Keenly Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 (edited) I am more than sure that your assumption that you straight up have the right to filter what he sees and what he doesn't sees is one of the basic fundamental problems here. I am willing to bet he thinks its pretty outrageous that you feel like you have any ground to stand on when you use programs to block your ADULT husbands porn watching. What is he 13? Give the man some freedom. Tell him you can help achieve his fantasies instead of just watching them. Entice him. And one last thing, The amount of distrust and resentment you feel towards him just because he has his phone is his hands is also kind of bad. Edited December 23, 2012 by Keenly
Sparty97 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 I am more than sure that your assumption that you straight up have the right to filter what he sees and what he doesn't sees is one of the basic fundamental problems here. I am willing to bet he thinks its pretty outrageous that you feel like you have any ground to stand on when you use programs to block your ADULT husbands porn watching. What is he 13? Give the man some freedom. Tell him you can help achieve his fantasies instead of just watching them. Entice him. And one last thing, The amount of distrust and resentment you feel towards him just because he has his phone is his hands is also kind of bad. +1... He is not your child. If you don't want him looking at porn tell him why. That said, guys are visually stimulated and we enjoy masturbating (I am told many women do too). 1
Mr. Lucky Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 And one last thing, The amount of distrust and resentment you feel towards him just because he has his phone is his hands is also kind of bad. Lots of different issues here but I'm surprised by your statement. Wouldn't you have an issue with a spouse whose focus in life, regardless of content, was their phone or computer? starofmylife, I'm not one of the ladies but I think your situation cries out for MC. You need to understand why your H substitutes ANY activity for a healthy sexlife with you... Mr. Lucky
Keenly Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Lots of different issues here but I'm surprised by your statement. Wouldn't you have an issue with a spouse whose focus in life, regardless of content, was their phone or computer? starofmylife, I'm not one of the ladies but I think your situation cries out for MC. You need to understand why your H substitutes ANY activity for a healthy sexlife with you... Mr. Lucky Considering that I am in fact that person, no. I wouldn't have an issue with it.
standtall Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 There is no absolute answer to porn in a marriage. With some couples they both like it and it works for them, with others they both view it with disgust and it works for them, with others one or the other view it and it works for them, but it becomes a problem in the marriage when it starts negatively affect the intimacy between them. In your case star, it is a problem....dreamingoftigers is the one to talk to here.
dreamingoftigers Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Too funny.... (I guess I have a reputation ) I was just on my way out the door when I saw this. I can't stick around right now, but please feel free to read my threads.... I'll pop in tomorrow or later tonight
Clockwork Posted January 2, 2013 Posted January 2, 2013 Your husband has too big of an issue with porn. The first thing I do if I ever see a kinky video on the computer is have sex with my wife. I treat any porn like foreplay, it is something to start me up. I don't rely on it daily to masturbate towards because I am a big fan of doing videos with your wife. This is one way to get each other involved in a very kinky way and I can assure you it'll spice things up for a long time. The fact that he watches a lot of porn could tell you that you might need to be a little more adventurous behind closed doors. Men are simple that way, trust me.
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