eleanorhurting Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 2 years later I am going through another breakup during Christmas time again. I am so tired of this I am numb I am sad I am obsessing about the thought of him and his ex getting back together. I drunk texted his ex (later apollogized, i am really, really really embarassed by this) in anger telling her that she should keep him. I am sad that it did not work out and I am sad that he did not love me the way I wanted to be loved and insisted on treating me like crap in the end and I am sad I took it for so long. I am sad all my relationships have failed. I am starting to think I will never be able to have a meaningful one and I am hoping that my desire to be in one will completely go away so I never have to go through this again in my life. I am sad for the mistakes I made. I should have done so many things differently. I miss him. I have to stick to NC but it is so hard. At this point I a still in denial. I just wish he would realize what a fool he was to let me go. There is no point to this post I am just venting so I don't break NC and give my real life friends a break.
Angel Heart Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 I wish I had the words to make you feel better. Sustaining relationships are quite difficult and we all make mistakes we later regret. I am glad you have this forum to vent. I hope you spend quality time with friends and family this Holiday season. Take care and be good to yourself; you deserve it. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Oh … I am sad for you and what you are going through, again. And at the holidays. I feel your pain. You'll get through it to the other side, you know you will, but of course you'll have to go through all the wretchedness to get there. You seem like a very sweet, lovely and smart young woman. You have high goals for yourself, and you're also super pretty. You won't fail at finding a real love. But please don't "settle." And by "settling," I don't mean the usual definition that's common around here, where a person thinks they're "settling" if they date a guy who's shorter than they usually like or has a kind of lame job or whatever. Don't "settle" for being treated in a way that makes you feel badly, and don't "settle" for not being loved when you need and want love. XO 2
Author eleanorhurting Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 Today is Chirstmas evening. I was going to pick him up at the airport today. I wonder if he will text me or call me. Probably not. I miss him but at the same time I feel like I made the right choice and that is a feeling I have never had in my life before. I have never walked away with my head high from something that was not good for me with my dignity (mostly) intact. I had a bunch of fun with my friends yesterday. I think I indulged in some "self destructive"behavior but it could have been worse. We all drank a little more than we should have but it was all within limits. What can I say I am a seasoned veteran I have been down this road before. I keep waiting for the very, very hard part to get here. 1
Amelie1980 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 I feel like hell too. Christmas tomorrow and all I wanna do is die or stay asleep all day. friends and family have run out of patience with me. it feels as if no one cares. we're supposed to be strong but we're actually going through a big bereavement. it hurts like hell. Nothing else I can say. I don't even know as we're not broken up. just on a break. he's messing me around a lot too. still texting me.
HopelessRomantick Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Reading the words of your post and others here on the forum has really helped me through the most difficult time of my life. Eleanor you are not alone. Amelie, i feel the same as you, that my friends and family are sick and tired of me hurting and not letting go. But for the past few weeks since i joined loveshack.org [and thankfully i found it] i have come back here to read the words and thoughts of others. I've done this whenever I feel the urge to break NC and it gets me through yet another weak moment. My story is long and I hope I can find the strength to share it soon. Hang in there and try and enjoy the holiday season everyone. 1
Angel Heart Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 I feel like hell too. Christmas tomorrow and all I wanna do is die or stay asleep all day. friends and family have run out of patience with me. it feels as if no one cares. we're supposed to be strong but we're actually going through a big bereavement. it hurts like hell. Nothing else I can say. I don't even know as we're not broken up. just on a break. he's messing me around a lot too. still texting me. Please take the best care of yourself as possible; you're worth it. I hope you will remember how special and worthy you're as a person and think of the positive attributes you have. I wish you the best this Holiday season and into the New Year. Take care
johan Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Hang in there, EH. Breakups are just hard. But it seems like you did it for the right reasons. And I think your always-positive outlook is going to help you come out of it having learned the right lessons and not the wrong ones. Having a good mind, a great career path, a new place to live, and really nice legs should all help to soften the landing for you. Just be patient with yourself and remember there are good guys in the world, too. 1
Author eleanorhurting Posted December 25, 2012 Author Posted December 25, 2012 I feel urges to text him. I feel like our converastion was not complete. I feel like we did not have closure. I feel sad.
Amelie1980 Posted December 25, 2012 Posted December 25, 2012 I have the overwhelming.urge to.contact too. I am so lonely.
Author eleanorhurting Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 He texted me yesterday I bumped into His neighbor (super random because he lives an hour away!) walking my dog downtown and apparently told him. I got this text that said: "Rocky out on the town what a good life" I did not answer he then texted me "did you have talking to xXxx" I did not answer. I won't. I should not right?
Amelie1980 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 He texted me yesterday I bumped into His neighbor (super random because he lives an hour away!) walking my dog downtown and apparently told him. I got this text that said: "Rocky out on the town what a good life" I did not answer he then texted me "did you have talking to xXxx" I did not answer. I won't. I should not right? Who dumped who? How long ago was it the BU?
Author eleanorhurting Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 Who dumped who? How long ago was it the BU? It was a 10 days ago and it was me BUT he had told me the night before that he did not want to be with me anymore and I had been begging him that I wanted us to make it work until he disrespected me so much that I snapped and told him it was over. He had however asked me for a "break" the monday after thanksgiving which had lasted for 2 weeks b efore we reconciled which looking back was a terrible idea.
Amelie1980 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 How long were you together? Why did you go ona break?
Author eleanorhurting Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 How long were you together? Why did you go ona break? 8 months You should look at my past threads and read the herpes thread! I just updated it!
Amelie1980 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Ok what's the old thread that explains all?
Author eleanorhurting Posted December 29, 2012 Author Posted December 29, 2012 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/359152-herpes
Nightsky Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 Boy you seem a delightful mess. I'd love to run you a bath and clean every last memory of this immature boy off of you. You did the right thing. In fact imagine how much more painful it would have been if you dragged this out. Better to treat to wound sooner than later. You saw that things were going to end between you two. In fact if he really cared for you he could still save it. He hasn't made a real attempt at saving it has he. In fact all he did was put doubt in your mind an pray you would dump him because he was too pussy to do it himself.
Amelie1980 Posted December 29, 2012 Posted December 29, 2012 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/359152-herpes Wow. My mum has cold sores every year. I lived with her for years, never got one.........
Nightsky Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 I was going to make a joke about missing something too, but everything I thought of was just toooo hilarious. So, I will say this instead you did the right thing.
Author eleanorhurting Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 Yesterday I was feeling kind of sad and guess who texted me at 1 am? "I feel like we need to meet in person to talk"
Amelie1980 Posted December 31, 2012 Posted December 31, 2012 Yesterday I was feeling kind of sad and guess who texted me at 1 am? "I feel like we need to meet in person to talk" wow. how long had it been since.you head.from.him?
Author eleanorhurting Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 wow. how long had it been since.you head.from.him? like 2 days lol
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