Zammo25 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Don't think I can carry on anymore. This is it.
sadpanda87 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 hang in there mate, we've all been there. talk about it if you're really struggling
Mcnulty Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 I feel for you mate, really do. I know exactly what you're going through,m as do so many on here. No one is worth taking your life for..no one, believe me. A year ago, I was in your exact position, dumped, for a new guy, who I thought was a better person than me, heartbroken and devastated, spent xmas alone or in hospital watching my friend die. Then, trying to pull myself together, rushed to a&e, nearly lost me, registered disabled, only working part time, 5 operations this year with another on the way...BUT, I'm here still AND thi big part, I'm over her. It took time, life hitting me in the nuts at every turn. I'm thankful for what I have, it's a cliche, but your health is a starting block from which you can, walk...baby steps, but one day my friend, you will get through this and be bloody proud of yourself. Inner strength is innate, you have it, I have it. You will get through this, I guarantee this. I understand your pain and am sending you positive thoughts, strength and hope, please hang in there and keep posting, we're here to help and support you man. 1
HaveFaithxx Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 I tried to commit suicide when I realized my ex husband would never get back together with me. I thought I wouldn't be able to live with my daughter living with a stepmom. It was tearing me apart. I was so heartbroken, and I got anxiety attacks constantly that I couldn't sleep. That was 7 years ago. Now he is married and has a new baby and my daughter lives with them every other week. And I am totally fine with it. On top of that I am alone living in a one room flat. They are rich and have everything. I couldn't care less what he is doing. We are even really good friends. And I almost ended my life over that!!!! It will get better. EVERYBODY gets over heartbreak. In a few months you will be as happy. Your thoughts create your reality. And believe it or not, you are in control of your thoughts. Think positive. 1
Author Zammo25 Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 Been talking to loved ones and feel a little better. Today was hard to get through with thoughts of her and the new shiny Guy being presented to their families. That f*cking hurt me. But it is the final closure if I ever needed it that she is gone and silly thoughts that they did not work out are crushed forever and she is never going to come running back to me for a reconciliation. I can also see I was treated very shoddily during the break up period. I laid my feelings on the line as she had become distant, spilled my heart and I said maybe we should split up, only as I was unsure how she felt as she did not say it anymore to get a reply " ok, if that is how you feel " She then " friendzoned " me which I did for a couple of months before ending contact saying I could not do it anymore as I still loved her and laid my heart on the line again. My strong suspicions are that the new guy was already on the scene the last time I saw her and there was a bocquet of flowers in her house which I can see now was almost certainly from him and she was awkward for the short time I was there. That was the last time I saw her. She made no effort at all to communicate and make things work. None. I was also informed she had met someone else with a text to a mutual friend saying not to contact her again as she had met someone else. She owes me nothing but I thought that was very cold.
lovefiction Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 I am right there with you... It feels like there is absolute darkness and no chance of happiness. I feel so broken and he is so happy. I was replaced in two weeks and right before the holidays. He posted their picture on FB when he always said he would never post a picture of someone he is just dating. Everything I thought that made our relationship so special he has thrown in my face. I was just driving around in tears trying to find an ounce of hope to get through this. But as much as it hurts, I have to believe that everything happens for a reason. I know I am a good person and you are too, so if we just keep telling ourselves that we deserve happiness something good will come. 1
Author Zammo25 Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 Hi lovefiction I am still devasted that my ex who I was with last Xmas is having a great Xmas this year with " Mr Wonderful ". It has sent me into a real bad downward spiral of self loathing and hatred. I cannot measure up to this guy and it is killing me.
TaraMaiden Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Honey, you need to go to your profile, and take a look at your threads, right from day one. You need to review your emotions, see where it all began, and see how much time you've wasted believing you don't measure up. All this talk is self-defeating, and as has been said, Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary issue. And it IS temporary. HOW temporary - depends on you, your determination to move on, and your acceptance that some things are just not the way you want them to be. This thread. This thread, for example, is a classic example of self-defeating sorrow. That may sound callous, but your first thread on this topic was on the 11th January this year. nearly a year ago. How many more threads like this do you feel you have in you, before you realise that by looking up, the stars still twinkle, the sun still shines, and you're still breathing, in and out? She isn't 'all that'. She is not - and never was - everything. Just as I am not my Husband's 'everything' and he is not mine. I - I AM my everything. I am the one person in my life, I can securely hang my hat on, because no matter what, I am so worth the attention. You need to evaluate what you give yourself out of ten, right now - because that's what worth you put on the person you are going to definitely be with for the rest of your life. And you obviously have a good amount of self-worth - or else you would have done something drastic - as per your first post - a long time ago. But you haven't. Which means one thing, and one thing only. You still want to be here. And that's a wonderfully encouraging and optimistic sign, don't you see? Something in you is still kicking, screaming and fighting, and you need to give that air. You need to see that no matter how negative you feel, and no matter how plentiful your threads - there is still a huge spark inside you, screaming at the top of its lungs - "let me out, I want to fly!" Look up, and fly. because looking down - isn't working for you, is it? 1
quite.foolish Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Tara absolutely smashes it ha! Legend.
Author Zammo25 Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 Thanks Tara Maiden. I just think the new guy is everything I am not. I guess I should be happy for her. She has got what she wanted.
TaraMaiden Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 Thanks Tara Maiden. I just think the new guy is everything I am not. I guess I should be happy for her. She has got what she wanted. And you have a lot that he hasn't. You don't need to be happy for her if you don't want to - where is it written you should be? And she may have got what she wanted - but will she be deliriously happy ever after? I doubt it. Every situation has its ups and downs. They may be together, but sooner or later, he will irritate her, and she will irritate him, they'll row and things will be hum-drum normal... nothing special, nothing great - just another relationship. All relationships fluctuate, and find their level. Theirs will. You have to look and forge ahead to a relationship of your own, where you can be 'normal'. Quit looking back at what might have been. Understand that it is what it is. And make a better 'will be' by making yourself a better 'will be' guy. Quit with the 'why me?' Start of with the "To hell with it - why NOT me?"
Author Zammo25 Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 Thank you Tara. I have a lot of very good qualities and have achieved a lot in my life but at an all time low ebb so doubting myself. You are the best.
TaraMaiden Posted December 28, 2012 Posted December 28, 2012 See, I'm not a heartless bitch, and I do have sympathy. But I have a tendency to tell it like it is and cut the crap. Sometimes, plain black and white works better than flowery sentiments and pats on the back. Virtual hugs are all very well, but do little to alleviate the issue and what ails you. You have to understand one thing: You were born. Whether by accident or design, your mom carried you and had you, nurtured you and looked after you. So it stands to reason that many people consider you to be a person of considerable worth. You should think on that, because they have a point. And if they have a point - is it fair that you keep whanging yourself over the head with a self-wielded iron skillet?? Quit! Be good to yourself - they don't like seeing you like this!
Author Zammo25 Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 See, I'm not a heartless bitch, and I do have sympathy. But I have a tendency to tell it like it is and cut the crap. Sometimes, plain black and white works better than flowery sentiments and pats on the back. Virtual hugs are all very well, but do little to alleviate the issue and what ails you. You have to understand one thing: You were born. Whether by accident or design, your mom carried you and had you, nurtured you and looked after you. So it stands to reason that many people consider you to be a person of considerable worth. You should think on that, because they have a point. And if they have a point - is it fair that you keep whanging yourself over the head with a self-wielded iron skillet?? Quit! Be good to yourself - they don't like seeing you like this! You are right. Thanks so much.
Author Zammo25 Posted December 28, 2012 Author Posted December 28, 2012 One day " Mr Wonderful's " halo will crack but by then I will hopefully be long past caring and will not even know. I do know I laid my heart on the line, several times, got it wrong sometimes but she would never have doubted my love and desire for her and to keep trying and she walked away without any semblance of a fight, so there it is.
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