mortensorchid Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Many weeks ago, I began chatting through Facebook with a guy I had known from a few years back. We were Facebook friends, I hadn't seen him since a mutual friend used to have a movie night on Tuesdays (the mutual friend has since moved away). Out of boredom or wondering what he had been up to since I saw him last, I sent an IM and we began to chat. I said we should get together some evening, just for old times's sake, he said ok. He said he was actually flattered to think that I would take such and interest in him. We have gotten together twice. Once a dinner/movie and the other time for a dinner. Honestly? He's a good guy, but quite nerdy and boring. He isn't very chatty, I'm a chatty person. He's into things like gaming and video game design, I know next to nothing about it save from a distance. I was thinking I didn't want to turn into one of those women who doesn't give the so called "nice guy" a chance and only opts for the excitement and danger of "the bad boy", but this was something else. It was just a feeling of "I'm not interested in you that way". I think we are just too different. We had arranged to have an evening at my place tonight (playing board games and talking). On Friday night he sent a text asking if I would like some company, I said this wasn't a good time. Then on Saturday he sent a text saying he wasn't feeling so hot and was cancelling. Ah well, best to just nip it in the bud and move on.
CptSaveAho Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Women.... Am i the only one to see he offered one night but you weren't interested but the night you are interested he doesnt feel good and you NEXT him It's like you set him up to fail. 1
bobsmith76 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 I think you should stick with him. You're being too picky. It's very hard to get a man to fall in love with you. If a man has shared about 7 or 8 dates with you he's much more likely to fall in love with you than a perfect stranger. It's very hard to find love, most don't find it. You've got to get to the 7th or 8th date with as man men as possible before something magic happens. Of course you once something magic to happen and it's much more likely to happen with someone you know very well then a perfect stranger. Be patient, know what you want (love), then go after and do not give up easily.
kaylan Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Whats the problem OP? You arent even into this guy, so why complain about anything? 4
Author mortensorchid Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 So should I give him a shot or not? I am getting conflicting answers here.
ASG Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 If you're not interested, then don't. Your feelings will likely NOT change and you'll just be stringing him along. You've given him a shot, seeing as how you've been seeing him even though you aren't feeling the connection. You've made the effort. If it's not there, it isn't and you should move on 1
movingon12 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 So should I give him a shot or not? I am getting conflicting answers here. If you like him, give him a chance. You've both cancelled once now so you're even.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Here's the thing. It sounds to me like, on a certain level she does like him. However mortensorchid is sooo used to the drama and BS of a more douchey guy that she can't really grok this "nerdy" guy. He offers her another night, she can't make it, then he can't make it...so she should offer to set up something else. That is what a mature adult would do. Now if he were to bail on her offer at that point, she should next him. Mortens, looking at the couples I know who are stable and have lasted, they are much more like you and this guy than like you were with any of the other men you've written about. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 For the record, a cancellation is different than a "no show," which implies standing someone up. Which he did not do.
phineas Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 For the record, a cancellation is different than a "no show," which implies standing someone up. Which he did not do. Oh good. I thought I was the only one going "huh?" after reading thread title & OP's content. For someone who has such a hard time finding a guy, she is really quick to drop the people who actually show interest in her. He called in sick. so what? If he cancels again then you cut him off. If he's already cut you off then you won't have to worry about him canceling again.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Oh good. I thought I was the only one going "huh?" after reading thread title & OP's content. For someone who has such a hard time finding a guy, she is really quick to drop the people who actually show interest in her. He called in sick. so what? If he cancels again then you cut him off. If he's already cut you off then you won't have to worry about him canceling again. I hate to say it but dosen't that serve to validate much of what the PUA's say about "challenge" and acting like you don't care? It seems for a shocking number of women the worst thing you can do is actually care for them.
CptSaveAho Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 I hate to say it but dosen't that serve to validate much of what the PUA's say about "challenge" and acting like you don't care? It seems for a shocking number of women the worst thing you can do is actually care for them. OP is a user... she creates drama out of thin air when she's bored and lonely It's why pua's ONS people like this, push her away and then reel her in hard PUA get the word "challenge" from what real men do to women. They naturally challenge them emotionally
phineas Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 I hate to say it but dosen't that serve to validate much of what the PUA's say about "challenge" and acting like you don't care? It seems for a shocking number of women the worst thing you can do is actually care for them. Cancelling because you are "sick" isn't challenge. It's either being sick or not interested or maybe even something else? Lot's of women cancel on me with the "sick" excuse on me. I give them one more chance if they make an effort & reschedule. 1
Author mortensorchid Posted December 26, 2012 Author Posted December 26, 2012 I guess I was just up in the air about it all. I've been canceled on in the past and they just seem to appear and disappear, or they yank my chain somehow. Still, I've read the other comments of others, and I have decided that I should consider an alternative than him. For these reasons : We are rather different people. In some ways we have things in common but he is rather sedate and silent and doesn't care for socializing all that much. I am not, I think over time that would create a problem for the both of us because we are just not on the same page in terms of charisma. He's a good guy and all, but I think he's actually quite intimidated by people rather than eager to make friends and socialize. This is something that is important to me, but not him.
crude Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Unless a person like you obtains intensive professional help, that person will have to continue to pay for sex and companionship for the rest of his days. Aren't husbands the ones who continue to pay for ever diminishing sex and lame companionship for the rest of their days?
SuperGeek Posted December 30, 2012 Posted December 30, 2012 Well I was considering trying to go back out in the dating world after a large break. After reading this, I'm just gonna stay out of the game. This **** is impossible! Screw the whole process, I'm just gonna die alone.
Recommended Posts