newguy23 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 i dont know how cliche this story may sound but here it is: so theres a girl ive been cool w/ since the beginning of college(few yr, i know), shes pretty damn attractive in general and most of the time we were together we were studying... it seemed kinda clear, just over time that we were just friends now, over the last month of so in preparing for exams, she seemed a bit more playful (leaning on my shoulder, physical), unlike when we first met... i read this as maybe she was slightly interested. also, i found out more about her and her interests, and realized that she was someone id really would like to go out w/ rather than being just cool with. so recently i gathered up the courage to let her know how she made me feel, and all she said was aww thanks, then as she was leaving to go home, i turned around, in the rain, ran back to her, and attempted to kiss her but only got her cheek... later i got hit with the "i dont wanna lose you as a good friend" text now, days after, i still feel miserable, even though i thought this would be something i would shrug off... i think the thing is the fact that ive known her a while, and just recently realized that "hey i really like this girl". i think where i messed up is that i wasn't upfront about it from the start, and i think i'll start doing that from now on. now im thinking that this will always be in the back of my mind, just that moment of getting rejected, while its raining! the one benefit from this is im glad i tried that in the first place rather than not doing anything at all does me still feeling ****ty even after a while mean that i really was into her? for some reason i cant stop replaying it in my mind, and the fact that weve known each other for a while makes me seem like alot of my time was not put to good use (though we'll still be friends) you guys think that moment will eventually fade away? sorry for the long post and i feel weird even posting stuff like this on a forum site just b/c you never know who's watching lol (this is my first time ever posting something of this nature online)
OregonFriendzoned Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Sounds like you and I are in a similar situation. I see it's been a couple weeks since you posted this so it may not still be relevant but... If you're really into her make her know that you could be the best thing to happen to her and even if it doesn't work out that you will still be friends (if you can handle that, if not don't tell her that.) The friend zone is a tricky thing to get yourself out of. But if I were you I would sit her down and talk to her, or write her a letter (as I did) telling her how you feel. I'm still waiting for a response to my letter, she told me she would gather her thoughts over the next few days and write me a letter. I'm sure it's going to say we're just friends but hey, it's an absolution. It will help you move on, or she could see how much you care for her and change her mind. You never know til you try...
johnmarry321 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 This applies to the majority of chicks, it's not some social complex, it's instinct. Sure, there are ones who want to manipulate the guys, but for your average chick, if you don't show a bit of being a man, you won't get far. Sometimes they like to tell everyone, even themselves, that they "just want a nice guy". Until they realize that being a ***** doesn't necessarily mean being nice, and a more dominant male can be very nice, too. Most guys who don't agree with this have either dealt with way too many cold bitches, or they think that by "dominant male" we mean total ********. Which we don't. Though Total ******** can fall under that listing, that's not what it has to mean. You can be an absolute gentleman, polite, old fashioned, whatever, but you take some initiative in the relationship and are seen as dominate
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