Shim_kattty Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 I dated a guy for 9 months & during the summer he dumped me. He said that it may just be a break because he still loved me and he wasn't sure why he was breaking up with me he just felt like he needed to go explore things. For the next two months he called & texted wanting to hang out with me and often times it resulted in sex & just sitting and talking about us. In August I noticed he was being quite a butt and I repeatedly asked what happened. The next month he decided to tell me that he had gotten a new girlfriend and we wouldn't be able to sleep together anymore. I completely stopped talking to him because I did EVERYTHING for this guy. I mean EVERYTHING & I sacrificed so much for him. In October he decided that he wanted to start talking to me & telling me how he missed me & felt uncomfortable in his new relationship because he felt like he would leave her for me. Often times he contacts me now to do little favors like pick him up from work or take him to class. I never minded because we were friends before we dated and were very close. Recently we have had sex and I completely regretted it because he has a gf and it just didn't feel right. He even had the audacity to ask me to approve this gift he had gotten for this new girl he's only dated 3 months. He has never bought me ANYTHING besides a meal & flowers & I never minded but now I am deeply insulted. I stopped talking to him again for about two weeks & he randomly texted me to say he missed me. He then stopped by my house after I didn't respond in which I talked to him for about an hour. Today he texted me to ask for a favor & I found out that his gf couldn't talk to him because she misplaced her phone. I feel used, & I am tired of him. Why can't his gf do these things for him or help with his emotional problems I seem to always repair. I'm ready to throw in the towel on this friendship because I am confused as to what my purpose is. I don't want him back by any means because when I dated him he was literally a no one & I liked that because he didn't have an obnoxious ego & was very humble & innocent. Now he is hanging with the wrong crowd & trying to be someone he is not & I'm the only person he can vent to about how hard it is to maintain this lifestyle or even go shopping with him trying to upgrade his style. I really have a deep love for this kid & I think he cares about me too but is trying to suppress it because he keeps saying he is trying to move on. If I go NC he won't respect it & I know he'll come by my house. He gets jealous at the guys I talk to but doesn't think I'm hurt by the fact he jumped into this relationship so quickly & is so in love one minute & the next missing me like crazy. Just please give me any kind of advice or stories that are similar to this situation. I'm just lost
HighFlight12 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 What's up, I can't say that I can relate to you situation. But what I will say is that you have to value yourself more than you value others. By still sleeping with him, lets him know that you are willing to sacrifice your integrity to please him. People don't respect that and I often do the same thing. With you still sleeping him will only continue to cause confusion for you, don't allow him to come as he pleases. He's in another relationship, he doesn't respect his girlfriend, he doesn't respect you, HE DOESN'T RESPECT HIMSELF. With that being said, if he doesn't respect himself, who will he respect? You have to focus solely on you, you want a man who serves a purpose in your life, one who will make your life better, not one who will hurt you, stress you, and only love you at his or her convenience. Your best bet is to continue not talking to him, until you are strong enough to let him go. If you want to move to NC, move there, don't let it stop you because he doesn't approve. It's about you, it's your life right? I'm sure that's how he views it for himself too. You should read and comment on my post too, thanks:)
Author Shim_kattty Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 You are so right. I would hate to continue this friendship. It is hurting entirely too much.
xpaperxcutx Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 If you keep him in your life, you have nobody to blame but yourself for inviting drama. Cut him off. The only way for you to live a happy life is to get rid of the bad things that keeping you from growing up and learning. Ex boyfriends being one of them. Cut off all contact and don't even give him the satisfaction of a hello.
sharsh Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Sounds like m ex boyfriend in a way. All you're allowing him to do is have his cake and eat it too, you know that right? He broke up with you, and started dating someone new. However, he's still doing all the same old things with you, like you're together. Relying on you, asking for favors, sleeping with you, etc. It's like, he gets to have two girlfriends. You REALLY need to break this off. I was stuck in this cycle for THREE YEARS with my ex. We'd break up, he'd go off with a new girl, and keep me around too. Then we'd make up, get back together, just to break up and do it all over again. It was STUPID, and I can't believe I allowed him to do this to me so many times, and stick around while he was f*cking other girls, AND ME. I finally grew a pair and this time around, this break up, I cut him off, went NC. Go NC. If he shows up at your house, let him knock on your door until the cows come home, you don't have to answer the door. Tell him to kick rocks, you're done. It's hard at first, but do this for YOURSELF. Otherwise you'll end up feeling like me, like wtf? How did I let that happen? How did I ALLOW him to basically still be with me and allow him to have other girls too? RESPECT YOURSELF. PLEASE.
HighFlight12 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 word up!!!! Since you all are ladies, will you look at my situation and tell me what you think? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/363502-i-love-her
Samilia Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 I dated a guy for 9 months & during the summer he dumped me. He said that it may just be a break because he still loved me and he wasn't sure why he was breaking up with me he just felt like he needed to go explore things. For the next two months he called & texted wanting to hang out with me and often times it resulted in sex & just sitting and talking about us. In August I noticed he was being quite a butt and I repeatedly asked what happened. The next month he decided to tell me that he had gotten a new girlfriend and we wouldn't be able to sleep together anymore. I completely stopped talking to him because I did EVERYTHING for this guy. I mean EVERYTHING & I sacrificed so much for him. In October he decided that he wanted to start talking to me & telling me how he missed me & felt uncomfortable in his new relationship because he felt like he would leave her for me. Often times he contacts me now to do little favors like pick him up from work or take him to class. I never minded because we were friends before we dated and were very close. Recently we have had sex and I completely regretted it because he has a gf and it just didn't feel right. He even had the audacity to ask me to approve this gift he had gotten for this new girl he's only dated 3 months. He has never bought me ANYTHING besides a meal & flowers & I never minded but now I am deeply insulted. I stopped talking to him again for about two weeks & he randomly texted me to say he missed me. He then stopped by my house after I didn't respond in which I talked to him for about an hour. Today he texted me to ask for a favor & I found out that his gf couldn't talk to him because she misplaced her phone. I feel used, & I am tired of him. Why can't his gf do these things for him or help with his emotional problems I seem to always repair. I'm ready to throw in the towel on this friendship because I am confused as to what my purpose is. I don't want him back by any means because when I dated him he was literally a no one & I liked that because he didn't have an obnoxious ego & was very humble & innocent. Now he is hanging with the wrong crowd & trying to be someone he is not & I'm the only person he can vent to about how hard it is to maintain this lifestyle or even go shopping with him trying to upgrade his style. I really have a deep love for this kid & I think he cares about me too but is trying to suppress it because he keeps saying he is trying to move on. If I go NC he won't respect it & I know he'll come by my house. He gets jealous at the guys I talk to but doesn't think I'm hurt by the fact he jumped into this relationship so quickly & is so in love one minute & the next missing me like crazy. Just please give me any kind of advice or stories that are similar to this situation. I'm just lost Not sure why you call it friendship, it's not, it's friends with benefits, at best. You're not special to him, you're just an emotional dumpster who gives him rides. I know the secret to your heart, you think he will change, he will not. Spare yourself some more humiliations and close the door on that guy. 1
Sugarkane Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Tell him your not his doormat and completely delete him out of existence.
Author Shim_kattty Posted December 27, 2012 Author Posted December 27, 2012 I did it guys. I cut him off today. I told him why & I told him I felt taken for granted. He apologized, but idc. I'm proud of myself. NC officially initiated. 1
Missing Him Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I did it guys. I cut him off today. I told him why & I told him I felt taken for granted. He apologized, but idc. I'm proud of myself. NC officially initiated. Congratulations! I'm glad that you're proud of yourself. I'm proud of you!
dreamingoftigers Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I did it guys. I cut him off today. I told him why & I told him I felt taken for granted. He apologized, but idc. I'm proud of myself. NC officially initiated. Good job! You might miss him for even a few months but the price for attention from this creep was much too high!
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