spiderowl Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 There's this guy I like. I've liked him for a while now but he doesn't know. He's quite reserved but we have started to exchange a few words recently. I think it's possible he likes me but I don't know yet as it hasn't got to the talking about close things stage yet. I'd like this to happen but I don't know if he does. We'll see, I guess. So, I am wondering whether anything could develop with this guy, but there is another issue that I don't know what to do about. I have a female friend, well acquaintance I bump into at events because we tend to go to the same things. We've started to chat more but in all honesty there are things I find irritating about her and although I care about her, as one would care about any acquaintance, she's not someone I would have sought out to be a friend. She does seem to want to be a friend. The problem is I have a feeling she likes this same guy. She has hung out with him in the past and she mentions him in passing every so often, so I get the feeling she is keen on him. They don't hang out any more so one can only conclude that's because he doesn't feel likewise. We haven't got to the friendship stage of talking about guys we're interested in yet and I really want to avoid it. I don't want her to tell me she likes this guy, or is in love with him, because I like him too. I wouldn't want to hurt a friend by showing interest in 'her' guy either. What can I do? I'd like things to develop with this guy - he's the first guy I've really felt attraction for and interest in in ages. It feels like an awful coincidence that this should happen. I would feel awful if she told me she loved him. because then I'd be responding in full knowledge. If he's not with her, then he's a free agent and it's not his or her fault who any of us are attracted to. I don't want to hurt anyone, nor do I want to miss out on what could be something really special.
weee111 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Guys point of view: Just talk to the guy and don't worry about the girl. She didn't tell you she's interested so it's not your problem...
Author spiderowl Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 Didn't you post about this before? Yes, I did post this before (you have an excellent memory!). I'm still in this situation. I haven't been out much recently so not seen the guy or her much. I feel like I must ward her off saying anything as I'm fairly sure she likes him and he is just not interested in her that way. Do I really have to ignore what could be the best thing in my life because of this?
FitChick Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Talk to the guy. It's possible he might not be interested in you either and you and your friend can commiserate. If he is interested in you, it's her loss and not your problem. Avoid talking to her about anything until you get a response from him either way. Why make things difficult for yourself?
Author spiderowl Posted December 31, 2012 Author Posted December 31, 2012 (edited) She seems a nice enough lady and likes to talk to me. I wouldn't want to hurt her. We haven't talked about such things, only what events are on, this kind of thing. I don't know if he's interested in me, we haven't spent much time together as he's a musician and always playing. He has been kind and friendly recently in his usual shy way. I'm not one to push things and ask him out or anything: he's definitely not the type who would like this. I have this horrible feeling this female friend is going to confide in me that she thinks the world of him or something and then what can I do? I'm usually right when it comes to instincts like this. The more I like him and think he could be really special, the more I feel this is going to blow up in my face. Edited December 31, 2012 by spiderowl
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