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Should I leave my ex a note wishing her luck and thanking her for the good times?

Casablanca

By Casablanca
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Casablanca Established Member

Casablanca

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Okay, so my gf and I broke up last week. She is out of town at her mom's for Christmas and she dropped off the key to her new apartment and asked if I would move her stuff while she was gone.

 

Since it was a good break up and I initiated it, I agreed as none of her friends would have been able to help as none of them have trucks. So I have finally got just about everything moved over there minus a few small things.

 

We have been communicating through leaving notes more so than email or text. I'm going to leave her a note saying I think that I have everything, let me know if I missed something, etc. I wanted to know (from the women here), would be okay to wish her luck and thank her for the memories? I really do wish her luck and I still care about her, but it wasn't going to work long term in my eyes. (obviously I wouldnt put that last sentence in) Would a note like that hurt her more?

 

Thanks

coffeebean201 Established Member

coffeebean201

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Posted

That was REALLY nice of you to move her stuff.

 

I wouldn't mention luck or memories.

 

Mention maybe something really cool you always liked about her and leave it casual.

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Casablanca Established Member

Casablanca

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That was REALLY nice of you to move her stuff.

I still care about her, but there was no way it was going to work out in my eyes and I do hope the best for her. Had she been horrible to me or cheated on me, I wouldn't have

Yookie Established Member

Yookie

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Don't say anything sentimental in the note. It will probably make her cry.

joli_doll Member

joli_doll

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Posted

Of course it would hurt her more!

Given this has been your primary method of communication lately, she will very likely have something else in mind when she encounters this note and goes on to read it.

As pure as your intentions may be, they will have adverse effects on her when she's through with it.

A note saying you think you got everything and asking her to let you know if you missed anything is ok. Just wishing her luck in her future and letting her know you still care about her, thanking for memories, etc is just emphasizing your decision to split up.

If you'd really like her to know these things, I'd advise you to tell her in person, not through means she can go back and read at any moment.

I do think its a very thoughtful thing to convey to her, just not how you intend.

I assume you'll see her to return her keys? Maybe then would be a good idea to express this to her.

movingon12 Established Member

movingon12

Posted
Posted (edited)

I think that would be a good idea, but don't write the memories part - if you had great times why aren't you together now etc etc. Something like: (your stuff blah blah). you're a great person and I know one day youll find the right guy for you. Best wishes..

 

Edit

Yes she'll cry. She'll cry anyway. She'll cry when she gets there and realized you've moved all her stuff there and not changed your mind. But I see nothing wrong with your final communication being a nice one and not a 'here's your stuff, bye' note

Edited by movingon12
Under The Radar Established Member

Under The Radar

Posted
Posted

Ditto on the nice guy comment and moving her things out.

 

I know you asked for the women to chime in (which I'm not), but I see nothing wrong with a thoughtful, final, note. I think wishing her well is appropriate and would not be construed negatively (being that it was not a "bad" breakup).

 

However, I'm on the fence about thanking her for the good memories. With Christmas right around the corner (a memory building holiday) it might exacerbate heartache (since previous years were spent with you) when she returns to read that. There is no way to tell if that sentence could magnify any pain she is experiencing.

 

Once again, having followed your other posts regarding the relationship, I'm sorry things had to end. I know, as do you, it was the right decision. You have handled a very difficult situation with courage, honesty, and kindness. Your actions, despite disconnecting from her for "irreconcilable differences", exhibited compassion throughout this process.

 

Hang in there my friend ...

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Casablanca Established Member

Casablanca

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Don't say anything sentimental in the note. It will probably make her cry.

Ayight, I'll keep it just business

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