SpiralOut Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 (edited) What do you do when this happens? Do you continue on with the date out of politeness and then never date them again? Do you give them another chance with another date? Do you make up an excuse to leave the date early? I've had a couple of dates this year where I felt like the guy was disconnected. For example last night my date seemed interested in me at first, but it soon became clear we didn't have much in common. He kept trying to talk about work, both his and mine. I told him the basics of my situation, but really, I felt no desire to sit there talking about bosses and coworkers and crap. I guess after he saw that I am not interested in discussing that at length, he lost interest in talking about me at all. I have lots of things going on in my free time that I could have talked about but there was no opportunity for me to bring them up, and he didn't ask any questions . . . . Instead we spent the whole time talking about him. Whenever I felt that I could relate to something he'd just said, I would insert my own little story or comment, which he would show little interest in, and change the subject back over to himself. I ended up just staring into space and nodding along. I want to know more about a date, obviously, but when it gets one-sided liket hat I just become completely bored. He clearly didn't care about anything I had to say. But the weird thing is that he wasn't in a hurry to end the date! I really wanted him to just finish his drink so I could end things without leaving him sitting there, but he must have spent an hour drinking his one beer. I drank two glasses of water before he could finish it. I made a comment about how he sure was taking his time, but he didn't take the hint. I finally got fed up and went to use the washroom. Then we got the bill. All of a sudden it's like he realized that I was there, and he started making an effort to ask me things but of course by that time it was too late. The other guy who showed little interest in me, well he was preoccupied with his ex-gf so I guess that's why he was off somewhere else. I gave him another chance, and things did not improve, he just continued to act emotionally distant while at the same time asking me to be his girlfriend. It was really odd. Ugh. Why do people do that?And what do you do when it happens? In both cases, the guy wasn't trying to get away from me, but he didn't seem interested in getting to know me either. I'm starting to wonder if I should have just make up an excuse to leave? Edited December 22, 2012 by SpiralOut
phineas Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 You end the date. This is why I do not take women out to dinner until I know I like them & they like me. You spend a few hrs having a few drinks or coffee. Keep it short & sweet.
Author SpiralOut Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 How do you end it without being rude? We only had a couple of drinks but he was drinking EXTREMELY slowly. And he ordered his second drink without asking me if I wanted to stay. Then after ordereding it he said he hoped I didn't mind. UGHHH. I didn't know how to get out of there when he had a completely full glass in front of him.
coffeebean201 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Sounds like they both liked you. Takes men quite a while to get to know a woman. And they really like to talk through problems, and bosses/coworkes is one of their number one topics.
TheZebra Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Sounds like they both liked you. Takes men quite a while to get to know a woman. And they really like to talk through problems, and bosses/coworkes is one of their number one topics. I can't tell if you're serious or being sarcastic. If you're serious, the last few men I've gone out with must be in love with me since work/bosses/business were the main topic of conversation.
GG3 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Unfortunately I have come across some men who only like talking about themselves. Interested or not. Seems like some guys just want to impress you or something. I find it boring and rude.
mortensorchid Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 I had two Internet dates recently where I realized they were not interested for whatever reason, they found me weird or something. The first one I determined was rude and full of himself, he just walked away and said "Thanks for the stories" and didn't give an handshake even. The second was an ok guy, he just wasn't that into me. Neither one called within a week, let alone 48 hours. I moved on, I'm sure they did as well. Life is too short to waste time on time wasters, I found out. We have to meet and weed out the good and bad people in all kinds of situations, but it's important to recognize it head on and move on before you invest too much time/energy into the person.
edgygirl Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Next time give the first guy a therapy session bill by the end of the date. $200 is good for a one hour psychological consultation... err, date.
grkBoy Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 You have to just accept there is no guarantee every date will go well. This is the same thing when I tell guys that just because they asked a girl out, there's no guarantee she'll say "yes"; or just because you got one date it doesn't mean she'll pursue a RL. It's unfortunate, but dating is a journey. You hit many bumps in the road before you find that ideal person you meld with. I've had many conversations go dry where the woman can't seem to talk about much outside of gossip and celebrities and trivial stuff. Just meant we're not a good match.
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