Caldespair Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 3 weeks alone, near the kids and their mom. Up until now, or last night it Finn hit me. The end to my life as I know it. My family my wife, 2 girls, my reason for living, will be gone and mostly likely over. Chances of reconcil look bleak. Feeling sorry for myself, alone, depressed, feeling like don't want to go on. This has been the hardest day yet.....
Yasuandio Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 (edited) Dear C, I wanted to respond really fast to your post. Please forgive me, I cannot recall you story - but I do know and understand your pain. It is a realization - and it will not be the first time that it will come to you. It may be re-visited and revisited again. But in time, it does become a bit easier as you move from denial into acceptance. And really, you don't know what the future holds - you can only live in the moment. I just wrote the most horendous post about the process of my divorce. However, the reality is, the scars are still on my heart, and too, are the yearnings, particularly at this season. Yes, it is true, your way of life may change, but you are not going to lose your children. IF anything, you are going to a have a different, and likely more enriched relationship with them, if you want to (ask Worldgonewrong and Debtman). I have been alone the last four years for every holiday, no family, and I do tend to isolate myself. I will not tell you it is easy. I will tell you it is possible to become accostomed to it. But you certainly have some family, some friends you can call, right? You are not alone = you have your children, and they have and will always need and value YOU! YOUR KIDS, They are where you can look to find your hope and happiness right now, at this moment! They are not going anywhere! If they are not at your house right now, it does not mean they do not exist - just look at a photo for the time being, cherish a memory. THINK OF THE GIRLS EACH TIME YOU ARE FEELING DOWN! Yas Edited December 23, 2012 by Yasuandio
Steen719 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Cal, Time will make things better, really. It is sometimes impossible to see it when you are on that side of it, but with time comes less pain and more perspective. Healing is a process; it does not hurry itself along. You must walk through this pain to come out on the other side, but you can do it. I know the pain, many of us know the awful, gut-wrenching pain that hits us when we wake up and stays with us all day, making crying a norm. It DOES get better. Your kids need you, so stay as strong as you can for them and yourself. Peace to you today.
Author Caldespair Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 Thanks for the wisdom guys. I feel better today (except 9ers are losing) as I spent Hal day with my kids. And I am lucky, going to Xmas eve at my parents, siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews and my daughters. So yea, I am lucky. Yas, u have nobody to do holiday things with? I've read where volunteering is good for us, if we are hurting.
Holyoak Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 I've read where volunteering is good for us, if we are hurting. It is, all year long; not just holidays, hurting or not. I work as a year round hospice volunteer specializing in veterans, and let me tell you it is very rewarding to help people in their greatest time of need... Try volunteering, and see what a huge difference you make for yourself and the ones in need.
K Os Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 I absolutely agree. I work with refugees, they make my problems look pretty pathetic
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