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If the girl you started dating has some kind of infection..


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Posted

I've starting seeing a guy that I am becoming quite fond of. I have been waiting to have sex with him because I believe it is good to hold off from jumping into bed right away. Thing is, while dating him I have developed some kind of infection down there. It is not from him, because none of our clothes have ever come off. It likely isnt from another guy either, because I haven't had sex in months. I went to the doctor and he prescribed me yeast infection medicine, even though he didn't seem confident that it is a yeast infection. That actually is a little upsetting because later I found out that it is possible to take a culture of the vagina to rule out types of infections..so I really have no clue why my doctor didn't do that.

 

In any case, I've been on this medicine for 2 out of three days, and the area is still red and all...I'm not confident that this was a yeast infection at all. I am being tested for a full range of STDs as well, even though its unlikely an STD, but I want to be sure.

 

So my issue.. I'm not sure what I will tell the guy I am seeing. I won't have sex with him until BOTH of us are tested, because that's the safest way to go about things no matter what.. But how would I tell a guy that I'm currently trying to solve a medical issue down there? I'm hoping that I can get a better doctor who can rule out the possibility of anything contagious and tell me that I'm clear to have sex.. But I don't know.. I'm worried this would turn him off since he is a new guy in my life. What do you think?

Posted

Can't you just say "I don't feel comfortable unless we both have STD tests" ? Why do you have to give more detail than that at the moment?

Posted

Bacterial vaginosis is a very common problem that is not yeast and not an STD. I get it more often than I like and can be very painful and itchy (hence the need for a culture). It can take several weeks of treatment to cure and can be caused by simply wiping some fecal matter the wrong direction from the anus.

 

You don't need to tell the guy anything other than you aren't ready to have sex. Another week or two shouldn't make a big deal if it is to be a long-term relationship. He doesn't need to know the grittier side of your reasons until you are 100% healed.

  • Like 3
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Posted

So I should avoid having sex until whatever it is goes away? I guess the redness around the area would be embarrassing to me if we were to have sex.. but what if it takes a while to be cured? I should still never tell him the reason I am holding off?

Posted

Avoid sex completely until you are 100% completely healed.

 

It can take a while to be cured. Honestly, why are you so rushed to have sex anyway? A few extra weeks shouldn't be a big deal but you don't want to start having sex if it is still red and itchy - that will only cause it to come back.

 

You can tell him the reason you are holding off is that you want to make sure the relationship is going in the right direction first. Or you aren't ready (he does NOT need to know why).

 

How long have you been dating him anyway?

Posted

re: infection you should go back to a doctor but this time a OB-GYN if you haven't done so - they can check on the spot on a microscope if it's yeast infection. I had one this year (first time in a decade) and even with prescription antibiotics it didn't go away. Only after OTC Monistat 7.

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Posted (edited)

Yea the doc was an ob-gyn...I guess I need a different one. But I mean, what if it takes more than a few weeks to get it solved. I'm not in a rush to have sex or anything, I'm just worried about having to pull the "I'm not ready" card for.. months even? Wouldn't it be necessary to eventually tell the guy that I'm trying to figure this out, or should he just be content with "I'm not ready" even if it takes more than a few weeks? I'm all for waiting, I think this is a blessing in disguise in that sense..But I just don't know how long it will be.

 

I've been dating him for just a couple weeks, so who knows what will happen. But he is very interested in me and it is mutual, so he is a promising prospect. Definitely still getting to know him though.

Edited by DontWorryBHappy
Posted

I bet you'll know better what's going on down there by next week. When are you expecting the lab results? Perhaps you could go to the ER and have them run some tests as well if you're really bothered, as it will be complicated to get a doc or other ob-gyn over the weekend or Monday until after xmas.

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Posted (edited)

A bit complicated since I'm leaving for a vacation for a week in 3 days. I won't be able to see any doctors until I return... Ill be getting results for some STD tests but am planning on getting a few more done when I get back in town, because not everything was covered on the initial screening. Aside tfrom that, the doctor didn't take any cultures and the only other results I'm waiting on are for a pap smear. So Ill be dealing with this when I get back immediately.. But I should still stick to the plan of not saying anything about it, no matter how long it takes?

Edited by DontWorryBHappy
Posted

I wonder if there's any harm in using Monistat if you do not have a yeast infection. That was the only thing that totally cured me last week. Ugh I really dislike people who recommend medical stuff like that over the internet (which could be really bad advice), but I couldn't help myself as I'd like to see you well.

 

I agree with Carrie, it is not a big deal to wait a few weeks or more for sex. If he is really interested in you for long-term he'll be fine with waiting.

 

In my case, I have a big mouth and I would probably tell the guy, but I don't recommend doing it ;) Also because guys seem to freak out with medical stuff. And also because it's really not his business right? Have a good trip!

Posted

I guess I am only posting to share how I feel on the topic of mutual testing as a requirement, in reply to the second poster.

 

 

While its not as simple as "Just bailing" , I do have to say that I would let her know that I can not comply with that request.

 

Everyone has their little irrational phobias, and mine is a syringe. We are talking more than a phobia, we are talking mortal, fight or flight inducing terror.

 

I therefore wouldn't be able to do the whole Pre-sex STD check thing. I guess she would just have to trust that I wouldn't lie to her when I said I was good to go.

Posted

They have those OTC self test kits that can tell you if you have a yeast infection or something else. You might want to try that.

 

I feel like guys don't understand or want to hear about vaginal health issues. I would talk to my BF about it, but I would keep it to myself if I have only known the guy for a couple of weeks. I think it would be an unneccesary mood killer at this point.

 

Hope your va-jay-jay feels better soon!

Posted
Surely this only happens to <6 year old girls? I mean the instructions couldn't possibly be any simpler.

 

Well thongs are a highway for bad bacteria. You'll never have any idea how sensitive vaginas are to foreign bacteria.

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Posted
I guess I am only posting to share how I feel on the topic of mutual testing as a requirement, in reply to the second poster.

 

 

While its not as simple as "Just bailing" , I do have to say that I would let her know that I can not comply with that request.

 

Everyone has their little irrational phobias, and mine is a syringe. We are talking more than a phobia, we are talking mortal, fight or flight inducing terror.

 

I therefore wouldn't be able to do the whole Pre-sex STD check thing. I guess she would just have to trust that I wouldn't lie to her when I said I was good to go.

 

Most of the major tests can be done by you peeing into a cup, I think. In any case, honestly has nothing to do with it. You can have an STD and not even know it. Happens all the time.

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Posted

Sounds like you are handling it just fine.

 

Try not to eat too much sugar.

 

I suspect he is going to want to know what is going on, and you can always say "I'm just getting over a yeast infection, we'll have to wait a bit".

Posted

I therefore wouldn't be able to do the whole Pre-sex STD check thing. I guess she would just have to trust that I wouldn't lie to her when I said I was good to go.

Unless you are a doctor, you don't know for sure you don't have a disease. And if she had half a brain, she'd make sure you ALWAYS wore a condom.

Posted

Seems like tests are a good idea for both of you. If you both pass, then he can proudly say "I've got protection, now I need affection, swing your booty in my direction."

Posted

If you are going out of town, get Monistat and do one course of it. Yeast infections are more common than bacterial vaginosis, which your doctor would know immediately without testing you because of the secretions and odor. Google the difference.

Posted

Tell that to my Ivy League graduated OB-GYN. She gave me fluconazole, an antibiotic. The whole internet says it's for treating yeast infection. And requires a prescription, so I obviously didn't take it without seeing a doctor and it's not "erroneous info", as a guy I was in touch with is also a doctor and told me the same thing.

 

FLUCONAZOLE - ORAL (Diflucan) side effects, medical uses, and drug interactions.

 

You might be right though, and smarter than my doctor AND the internets, as it did not cure it. OTC Monistat did :p Sometimes I don't trust doctors, what do they teach them in Med School? hehe.

 

One doesn't take antibiotics for a yeast infection. In fact antibiotics often cause a yeast infection.

 

 

I'm a little surprised at the misinformation on here, (antibiotics for yeast infections and peeing in a cup for stds) which are both completely erroneous info. I'm not trying to be a smartarse.

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Posted (edited)
You don't pee in a cup for any std tests. Peeing in a cup is to test your urine for a urinary tract infection which is completely different than any std tests. STD tests require a vaginal swab or in some cases blood tests.

 

You are only half right, but I am only half right as well. You can be tested for chlamydia and gonnorhea through urine. This is a relatively new development. Google it if you will. But for others you are correct.

Edited by DontWorryBHappy
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Posted

Well tonight is the 3rd day of a prescription yeast infection treatment.....if this doesn't work (and I will wait a few days after today to judge) should I go get some monistat 7??? Or would it be bad to treat myself again after just finishing prescription stuff?

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