NavyAirTraffic Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 "I Want To Take A Break & Figure Things Out..." This is not a break up. This is a prelude to one. The opening act so to speak. Chances are she has been considering or fantasizing about what it would be like with out you, and this is her way of seeing what it is going to be like for her. BUT, she doesn't want to commit to it all the way as the thought of being without may still be scary. She is your girlfriend after all. What this really means is that the same dissatisfaction that drove her to take a break... Will eventually drive her to leave you. It might be right after the break. It might be months... It might be only when she has found another guy. "Its Not Working... Maybe In The Future..." Watch out for your ex girlfriend's temptation to leave options open. When girls break up with guys they usually think about doing it for a long time... Or they knew it wasn't going to work out for a long time. Saying its not working for her right now is a way of softening the blow because its too hard to tell someone you care about that its over... In fact its probably hard for her to entirely accept it herself. She's probably conflicted. But don't misinterpret what that really means. She has accepted it, and she has had time to deal and cope with what it will be like with out you around. And she decided to still break up with you. "I Love You As A Person..." There is no more blunt of a way of translating this... So I'm just gonna. "I like you, you are a good friend and I feel comfortable around you, but I am not attracted to you anymore and I want to date other guys even though I won't say that right now because that would be a really mean thing to say to you." I know. I hate that phrase too. As a guy we know that "I love you as person" means I don't want to have sex with you anymore because I'm thinking about what it would be like to be with someone else. The chemistry is gone... For her at least. And she is looking to find that chemistry with someone else. "I've Meet Someone Else..." If your ex girlfriend told you this you probably got angry. You probably got really angry. Being replaced by another guy... It means that your ex girlfriend wasn't totally honest with you... It means that she was becoming attracted to someone else while you were together... It means that she was taking the time away from you to be with this other guy... And its your girlfriend that was doing this. She betrayed your trust in a profound way. But chances are that didn't sway you from wanting her to come back to you. In fact it probably made you want her MORE somehow. "We Should Just Be Friends..." This usually turns out one of two ways... And only you know your ex girlfriend so I will leave it up to you to determine which one is playing out for you... "I want to be friends" can mean "we have a history and a connection and I don't want the break up to get in the way." If you and her were friends before dating or you've been dating for a long time this may be where you are at. Usually you have to take a break (you do especially because you're still in love with her) and there is a real possibility of the two of your rebuilding something in the future. "We should just be friends" can also mean "I'm not attracted to you anymore, I don't even really want to be friends, please don't make this weird for me." She is letting you down easy. Staying friends is really just a cushion for the blow of her breaking up with you. Usually this one ends with her slowing but surely cutting off contact with you. Not being able to tell the difference between the two is a very common mistake guys make when getting dumped. And in either situation guys make the mistake of trying to be friends with their ex girlfriend right afterwards, therefore prolonging the pain. -by Dan Dennick GetOverHerNow.com 1
Author NavyAirTraffic Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 Although tailored for men, this info is beneficial and relates to both sexes .
NoMoreJerks Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Hi NavyAirTraffic. I love your posts. Here's one to add to the list (my ex - a guy -- told me this today): "I can't have a relationship right now -- it's too much pressure; I am stressed enough about my job and my job is my life now." Listen, unless you are the president of the United States, chances are, your job is no more stressful than most people's jobs. This is hilarious when said to a woman who was probably the least demanding woman in terms of communication. Here's another (also said by my ex , in the very same break-up) : "I care about you and I don't want to hurt you." = I don't love you, and don't feel attracted to you. I want to have flings or relationships with women whom I feel attracted to. And another (also by my ex, said today) : "You are too demanding." He probably did not say this to his first gf , whom he felt obliged to go see every day after a long day at work (despite the 1.5 hour drive to her place -- this is a true story , my ex told me he used to do this with his gf). The irony is that the less demanding you actually are with this type of men (or women), the more demanding you will seem. Surreal. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Another one by my ex today: "It's not going to work out. I can't come see you in your city every month." (he lives across the ocean in Europe). I never asked him to come see me every month. I merely expected that he would live up to his promise to come visit me over Christmas (an idea he came up with), which he bailed out on a week before the break-up (which meant I would have to spend Christmas all alone since I didn't book flights to go see my family). Besides, he does travel to Thailand for fun and games (vacation) 4 times a year, so why can't he come visit ME instead of going to Thailand to sit at bars and talk to Thai prostitutes? 1
Author NavyAirTraffic Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 why can't he come visit ME instead of going to Thailand to sit at bars and talk to Thai prostitutes? Maybe he likes his men dressed like women... Sounds like a real gem lol. Dating is an interview process, most people put their best foot forward while getting interviewed. NMJ, your ex gave you all tha ammo you need to fire his arse!! He chooses his ex and his job over you, interview over, next applicant please. 1
MyAngel Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 These are fantastic. It is often such a revelation when you think about their reasons and it's often the same thing repeated through break ups over the world.
movingon12 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 I need space You're annoying me these days. Please go away. The spark is gone I don't find you attractive anymore, but I'll tell you who is hot, that new cashier at Gap. Yum yum!!! 2
eduardo23 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 These are all too true. Had my ex say some of these things to me and if what she said and what she felt were the same we wouldn't have broken up.
Angel Heart Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 It's not you, it's me... It's totally you and it's so over. 2
Million.to.1 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 "I just need to be single for a while" - "I need to break-up with you now so i can leave an appropriate amount of time before getting involved with someone else that i've already met." 1
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