FitChick Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Dating in your 30s is hard--harder than I ever thought it would be. I never thought about it in my 20s ... I wish I had stayed in less than ideal relationships so that I would have had the opportunity to have children. To maximize your chances of success, I suggest dating older divorced men with kids. I think dating is the same in your 20s and 30s, the only difference being you never thought about it in your 20s. It wasn't a priority. Staying in a bad relationship to get pregnant and deprive your kid of a father is very selfish. Older divorced men with kids don't want more kids. They've been through that drama. Which makes me wonder how much time you actually spend with children taking care of them. Most people are clueless; hence, the high divorce rate for people with kids. The majority of people regret having kids and are finally admitting it. Why do you think families are so much smaller now? People have a choice and they are choosing to have only one or two kids.
Lonely Ronin Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Finding that, plus attraction, would you commit? Yes, In-fact I did in my early 20's. Would most? All of my male friends who are single would, but then again I don't associate with undesirable people. 2
phineas Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I wouldn't touch men that think like this with a 10 foot pole. Works out for all. Ya know, this type of logic runs along the same lines of quitting your job AFTER they already fired you. someone disqualifies you & you in turn reject them afterword. They already said they wouldn't date you so you wouldn't even be given the chance to turn them down. 1
phineas Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I am single and 33 years old. No kids either. Due to bad luck and attracting the wrong type of guys. Everything else in my life is fine. I am not over weight or anything (just putting that out there! LoL). Good job, family and friends but this one little thing is the one thing I can not get right. I have had two serious past relationships before. But have not put myself out there that much. Have only had two dates in the last two and a half years since my last relationship. Guess I have got to put myself out there more. I have been reading online that people are saying that it is harder for women to date in their mid 30's. Great. I look young for my age and still get hit on by guys in their mid 20's. . LoL. Could looking young play a part in this also? I guess it could go in my favor as well. If I play my cards right. Just really surprised me reading about that with women single in their mid 30's! What are other peoples thoughts on this? Stop dating loser's. Period. Just because you attract the wrong type of guy doesn't mean you have to date them. I think these days you have until early 40's to have a kid without too many medical issues. But realistically, you don't want to be 40 & popping out a kid. I was 36 when I had my 2nd & couldn't imagine ever having more kids at 41 which is why I avoid women with da baby fever.
phineas Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I would be interested in going on a couple of dates to see if we click. If we do, then maybe she will be my girlfriend. If we fall in love I would like to marry her. But I have no idea if I will be headed that way with someone until I actually get to know them. And I'm not going to grill them about marriage and children on the first date either. And I would run from a woman who grilled me about marriage and children on the first date. I get women who tell me they are looking for someone to live with on or before the first date. I of course stop seeing them because I have zero clue if I want to live with them & I won't know for quite a while. 1
truth_seeker Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Finding that, plus attraction, would you commit? Absolutely 100% YES! 2
Vercetti Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Finding that, plus attraction, would you commit? Would most? How many men get to their 30s without ever having experienced the desire to marry a woman? (a specific woman--not a general urge to get married) 1) Honesty 2) Fidelity 3) Emotional Support 4) attraction Forgive me for interjecting but not only would I but I did commit ( fourteen years so far ). The thought of turning all that down to go mingle more would be insane. All the above seems to be the jackpot of the dating game. Unless a guy is dense or is just wanting to rack up a number count, I don't know any sane man that would turn the above down. Hell a girl could be a bit lacking in the looks department, but would look like a million bucks with those other qualities. 5
Lonely Ronin Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Unless a guy is dense or is just wanting to rack up a number count, I don't know any sane man that would turn the above down. Where I'm from, we call these guys morons..... 3
Later82012 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Finding that, plus attraction, would you commit? Would most? I would and all of my friends would. I don't even need the emotional support. Problem is, it is tough to find an attractive female that is honest and faithful these days. 1
iris219 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 1) Honesty 2) Fidelity 3) Emotional Support 4) attraction Of course a guy would reject a women who had all of the above qualities if he didn't feel he was compatible with her. He would also reject her if he wasn't feeling it. Sometimes we just don't feel it for people who have all four of the above and there's no explaining why. You're making the assumption that a woman only gets rejected if she's ugly or has bad personality traits, which isn't the case at all. Awesome and attractive women get rejected all the time.
edgygirl Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Bam! Iris I love you Of course a guy would reject a women who had all of the above qualities if he didn't feel he was compatible with her. He would also reject her if he wasn't feeling it. Sometimes we just don't feel it for people who have all four of the above and there's no explaining why. You're making the assumption that a woman only gets rejected if she's ugly or has bad personality traits, which isn't the case at all. Awesome and attractive women get rejected all the time. 2
edgygirl Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Oh wait. You forgot to mention any guy would ditch her if she was over 30 According to our board specialists. Of course a guy would reject a women who had all of the above qualities if he didn't feel he was compatible with her. He would also reject her if he wasn't feeling it. Sometimes we just don't feel it for people who have all four of the above and there's no explaining why. You're making the assumption that a woman only gets rejected if she's ugly or has bad personality traits, which isn't the case at all. Awesome and attractive women get rejected all the time.
xxoo Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Of course a guy would reject a women who had all of the above qualities if he didn't feel he was compatible with her. He would also reject her if he wasn't feeling it. Sometimes we just don't feel it for people who have all four of the above and there's no explaining why. You're making the assumption that a woman only gets rejected if she's ugly or has bad personality traits, which isn't the case at all. Awesome and attractive women get rejected all the time. I could be wrong, but I think for a lot of guys the combo of attraction + emotional support = compatible. Emotional support and attraction are both subjective. A woman can be attractive, and give a lot of emotional support (from her own perspective), but that doesn't mean it is connecting with him the way he needs it. Some guys may be very difficult to "reach" emotionally, and that isn't necessarily the woman's fault. 2
iris219 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I could be wrong, but I think for a lot of guys the combo of attraction + emotional support = compatible. Emotional support and attraction are both subjective. A woman can be attractive, and give a lot of emotional support (from her own perspective), but that doesn't mean it is connecting with him the way he needs it. Some guys may be very difficult to "reach" emotionally, and that isn't necessarily the woman's fault. I agree. I just hate the assumption that if a woman is single there is something wrong with her. If she was just prettier, nicer, more caring, etc, she would get a man when the reality is is that women who are not attractive or pleasant are in relationships. This makes me think men have no idea what they want. 2
Imajerk17 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 (edited) Oh wait. You forgot to mention any guy would ditch her if she was over 30 According to our board specialists. You know, I'd really like to see someone actually mention names as to which guys are the ones saying this. You women keep saying that we guys on LS won't consider anyone over 30, but I don't recall seeing anyone outside the bitter brigade (or someone who is in their 20s) saying this. Edited December 22, 2012 by Imajerk17
Lonely Ronin Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 This makes me think men have no idea what they want. Hey now, no hitting an entire gender below the belt.
iris219 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Hey now, no hitting an entire gender below the belt. I don't mean all men, of course. Just the men I come in contact with, which isn't many. I had to hear from two guy friends this week how much they hate their GFs--how annoying their GFs are and how they aren't even attracted to her. But they don't want to be single so they will probably stay in these relationships. One even kept denying that she was even his GF although she certainly thinks she is.
Lonely Ronin Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I don't mean all men, of course. Just the men I come in contact with, which isn't many. I had to hear from two guy friends this week how much they hate their GFs--how annoying their GFs are and how they aren't even attracted to her. But they don't want to be single so they will probably stay in these relationships. One even kept denying that she was even his GF although she certainly thinks she is. The word you are looking for then is coward. Cowards stay with people the don't really care for, because they are afraid to be alone. 1
Imajerk17 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 (edited) I guess overall I feel that this thread has turned into you women projecting your own insecurities and blaming them on men. It's like when guys come on here and say that women won't a man unless he is good-looking, 6', and makes 6 figures. They're merely projecting their own insecurities onto the male gender. Just as a few of you are projecting YOUR insecurities onto the male gender. I nor do any of my guy friends do not think all these things when we meet an 30-somehing (or even older) woman who has a lot going for her and who is single. We instead think of asking her out. Edited December 22, 2012 by Imajerk17 1
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