Girls in their mid 30's and still single.

[Kimbra]

I am single and 33 years old. No kids either. Due to bad luck and attracting the wrong type of guys.

 

Everything else in my life is fine. I am not over weight or anything (just putting that out there! LoL). Good job, family and friends but this one little thing is the one thing I can not get right.

 

I have had two serious past relationships before. But have not put myself out there that much. Have only had two dates in the last two and a half years since my last relationship. Guess I have got to put myself out there more.

 

I have been reading online that people are saying that it is harder for women to date in their mid 30's. Great.

 

I look young for my age and still get hit on by guys in their mid 20's. . LoL.

 

Could looking young play a part in this also? I guess it could go in my favor as well. If I play my cards right.

 

Just really surprised me reading about that with women single in their mid 30's!

 

What are other peoples thoughts on this?

Edited December 22, 2012 by Kimbra

[SJC2008]

It's hardER because most men 30-33 can still get women in their mid-late 20's.

[CptSaveAho]

yup... ive dated a few women in their early 30s... wouldn't touch them

 

you could see their dating history on their faces and the losers they dated in their 20s.... not only that, they would continue to date them if they had the chance... their love maps are destroyed

 

I'm sticking to the 25 26 27 range

Edited December 22, 2012 by CptSaveAho

[dasein]

No stigma today due to being unmarried in the 30s. The old "greater chance of being struck by lightning than a woman getting married past 30" cliche' is simply not true today if it ever was.

[Eternal Sunshine]

It's hardER because most men 30-33 can still get women in their mid-late 20's.

 

yup... ive dated a few women in their early 30s... wouldn't touch them

 

you could see their dating history on their faces and the losers they dated in their 20s.... not only that, they would continue to date them if they had the chance... their love maps are destroyed

 

I'm sticking to the 25 26 27 range

 

I wouldn't touch men that think like this with a 10 foot pole. Works out for all.

[Overthirtymale]

I am single and 33 years old. No kids either. Due to bad luck and attracting the wrong type of guys.

 

Everything else in my life is fine. I am not over weight or anything (just putting that out there! LoL). Good job, family and friends but this one little thing is the one thing I can not get right.

 

I have had two serious past relationships before. But have not put myself out there that much. Have only had two dates in the last two and a half years since my last relationship. Guess I have got to put myself out there more.

 

I have been reading online that people are saying that it is harder for women to date in their mid 30's. Great.

 

I look young for my age and still get hit on by guys in their mid 20's. . LoL.

 

Could looking young play a part in this also? I guess it could go in my favor as well. If I play my cards right.

 

Just really surprised me reading about that with women single in their mid 30's!

 

What are other peoples thoughts on this?

 

Find a man quick by the time you hit 35 you are out of child bearing years and can only get dates from 50 year olds! Unless you are rich no young man is gonna want you.

[mesmerized]

No stigma today due to being unmarried in the 30s. The old "greater chance of being struck by lightning than a woman getting married past 30" cliche' is simply not true today if it ever was.

 

Must feel good to you to constantly deny women's issues and magnify men's. To us, it's simply annoying.

 

It's funny how women are hated if they are single when tons and tons of men don't want relationships. If you know basic math you will know that some women are bound to stay single or have a hell of a time finding anyone worthy.

Edited December 22, 2012 by mesmerized

[Drseussgrrl]

Honey you'll find you need a bit of a thick skin when posting on this board. There is the occasional dip who will come in with comments meant to make you feel worthless about dating simply because of your age. It will become obvious who they are quickly enough.

 

I'm your age and technically single as well. I have had a few dates recently with someone who seems promising though. He's a 37-year-old Army doctor, cute and from a big, close family and he makes me laugh.

 

Don't give up. Just continue to put yourself out there and it will happen. You've already demonstrated that you're capable of having a long-term-relationship. The same can't be said for the douches who come in here flapping their gums about how only younger women can land a good man.

 

In my real life experience it just ain't so.

[Imajerk17]

@ Kimbra: 33 isn't old at all to be single. Not sure if I agree with you with the "attract the wrong types of guys". In the end, you were the one who decided to date them.

 

@mesmerized: I have NO idea what you took offense at with dasein's post.

 

Both genders have to deal with *what they feel as* unfair biases in the dating game. For every 30+ woman who feels slighted because a guy her age or older wants to date women in their 20's, there is a guy who feels slighted because women will overlook him due to his height. It goes both ways.

[Vercetti]

Don't think age is a big issue...same problems as ever, those that are good for a relationship are in one while those that never got over being a teenager still haven't gotten over it. Challenge yourself for a few dates a week and I'm sure in a few months will encounter someone you fancy. Forget about these Internet number games, there are exceptional people beyond any statistics. As a teen went out with raver hippy girls that were your age and had a wonderful time. If some guy has a tear up hot young bodies mentality, he isn't the guy you are looking for anyhow.

[Woggle]

As long as you don't hate all men because of bad experiences you should be fine. The majority of men don't want to be put on trial for other men's sins. Men are not as ageist as some would like to believe on this board. The nasty comments are just a misguided attempt to get back at all the women that hurt them back in the day when in reality they are just as bad as the women who make all men for the actions of other men.

[iris219]

Read the following with caution. It's not going to be uplifting!

 

Dating in your 30s is hard--harder than I ever thought it would be. Actually, I never thought about it in my 20s because I never thought I'd be single in my 30s. I've wanted to get married and have children for about 10 years and it's never happened for me.

 

Honestly, dating is so hard in my 30s that I wish I had stayed in less than ideal relationships so that I would have had the opportunity to have children. If I was divorced with kids, I don't think I'd even worry about dating because finding anyone worthwhile seems so futile. There are very few desirable single men left.

 

To maximize your chances of success, I suggest dating older divorced men with kids.

[Drseussgrrl]

Maybe it's the area I live in but there are women all around me who found their mates in their mid-late 30's. I have a gf who got married over the summer, 39, and they just closed on a house and are pregnant.

 

Another gf of mine is 37, got engaged after dating for 6 months and they have a beautiful baby boy.

 

There are countless other examples I can give you of women in their 30's in my life who have gotten married and had families in their 30's. It's more common than ever, especially in urban areas like where I live.

 

I'd even wager to say that it's more common than women getting married and starting families in their 20's.

 

I will say, however, that this is NOT the case in my hometown in the midwest. At 33 I'm sure they assume I'm a spinster.

[Imported]

How do you attract the wrong type of guy? Maybe you attract a guy and you're the wrong type of girl and he behaved accordingly. Maybe look at what you're doing for the guys you do attract. And everyone on message boards seem to "look 10, 15, 20 years younger...." . If you're 33 and look much younger than you really are then you are at a prime age for dating all sorts of men from younger than your actual age to older than you. So it should be a cake walk.

 

I go for what I like. It varies a lot, but the age of the women have been generally @the same for many many years now. (I get older every year, but the high school girls are always the same age, strange.......kidding)Sometimes its older, because those women did look younger than they are. Sometimes its older because those women just looked rediculously sexy even though obviously mature.

 

For women I'd want to spend a life with, I don't know. I haven't met her and I'm not putting a number on her.

Edited December 22, 2012 by Imported

[Drseussgrrl]

I'm 33 and my pics are up. Judge for yourself.

[edgygirl]

We all attract wrong guys - because there are so many out there these days (commitment-phobes, players, unnavailables, etc). What makes the difference is whether or not you gauge them quickly and give them the time of day and waste more time on them that you should.

 

I am 7 years older than you and the best advice I can give you is to start getting really smart about the people you come accross and not waste your time with the ones who don't seem to have the same goals as you. In my 30s I insisted in relationships where I was trying to be positive-thinking and just let things flow and hope for the best... No. It doesn't work if you and the guy want different things out of life.

 

I realize now that we have to be more methodical and smart about dating. It doesn't sound romantic, but if you want to find 'the one', don't waste time with guys who don't make it clear that they are looking for marriage and or kids or whatever it is you want, that are family-oriented, don't waste time with guys who are not age appropriate - the ones in their 20s hitting on you, on all of us lol. (even if you are horny or lonely and they seem cute and friendly). In most cases it doesn't really work for long-term.

 

Of course it's harder to date in your 30s - there are fewer quality guys available and we don't have access to the vast social network we did while in college. But I keep meeting good quality men between 35-40, so they are out there and some seem interested in settling down although they are set in their ways. Don't get discouraged and please don't listen to the bitter brigade of young hurt guys here. Real life proves otherwise - most women in their 30s here seem to meet a lot of guys and there's no general impression that normal guys with no emotional issues are not interested in women our age

[edgygirl]

Wow you're gorgeous! Really pretty woman.

 

I'm 33 and my pics are up. Judge for yourself.

[truth_seeker]

The problem is there are tons of women who like to have their "fun" in their 20's and expect to land a great guy to marry and start a family with in their 30's. What's wrong with this mindset is that a lot of men do not want a 30's housewife who was a 20's whore. The only guys who accept this are the ones who desire a woman out of his league.

 

Also, most of these women who go this route do not marry for love but rather for security. They end up miserable and depressed because they do not love the man they marry. That's another reason why the divorce rate is so high.

[edgygirl]

The divorce rate is so high because people marry in their 20s when they are not ready yet and don't know who they are. When they find out, and realize they are with someone who is completely wrong for them in their 30s and 40s, they get divorced.

 

Getting married before you are emotionally ready = catastrophe. Doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman. And offending women for wanting to live life in their 20s doesn't is not constructive criticism. Do you also consider men in their 20s who want to have fun "whores"? How old are you?

 

The problem is there are tons of women who like to have their "fun" in their 20's and expect to land a great guy to marry and start a family with in their 30's. What's wrong with this mindset is that a lot of men do not want a 30's housewife who was a 20's whore. The only guys who accept this are the ones who desire a woman out of his league.

[Woggle]

The problem is there are tons of women who like to have their "fun" in their 20's and expect to land a great guy to marry and start a family with in their 30's. What's wrong with this mindset is that a lot of men do not want a 30's housewife who was a 20's whore. The only guys who accept this are the ones who desire a woman out of his league.

 

Also, most of these women who go this route do not marry for love but rather for security. They end up miserable and depressed because they do not love the man they marry. That's another reason why the divorce rate is so high.

 

This is part of it. I have nothing against having fun and I still want to have fun though the definition does tend to change with age. Most men have a fear of being settled for and marrying a woman who isn't really in love with him. Getting that I love you but I am not in love with you is one of the most painful experiences for a guy and I can't blame men for wanting to avoid that.

 

The solution though is not to avoid dating women 30 and up but really look at why a woman is with you and be careful about committing.

[Radu]

OP, a small part of me is joyous at your problems [as a 30yr old man who has had troubles dating throughout his lifetime and who had a history of abusive relationships].

 

I'm not happy about it though, about that part of me.

 

As i'm entering my 30's, i'm also found in the position of your potential beaus, and the cold hard fact is that there are some trends with women.

If they are around 27, they tend to play nice untill marriage [3 marriages broken in the last yr where she got married at that age amongst my friends].

If they are below 23-24, they tend to listen to friends too much, and they generally tend to badmouth you something fierce.

27-33, they tend to still want marriage badly ... i've even heard of sabotaging condoms.

I don't date above those ages but i expect that they will tend to become more set in their ways and more comfortable with the ideea of no kids.

There are the reasons why i date in the 24-27 age bracket, it's the choices that are given to me.

 

It's not fair, and the supply of men is diminishing ... can you blame us if we gloat over your misfortune [when we remember how you treated us in the past ?]; my best advice is for you to do what i did ... improve yourself, offer a better package.

Sure that the body attracts us, but we would also love for you to be challenging and to not have baggage [and your relationship history can be understood as baggage].

[Radu]

The divorce rate is so high because people marry in their 20s when they are not ready yet and don't know who they are. When they find out, and realize they are with someone who is completely wrong for them in their 30s and 40s, they get divorced.

 

Getting married before you are emotionally ready = catastrophe. Doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman. And offending women for wanting to live life in their 20s doesn't is not constructive criticism. Do you also consider men in their 20s who want to have fun "whores"? How old are you?

 

Yes, i do consider those men like that and i advise against marrying them.

 

Woggle made a great post [and it's nice to see he found a point of balance in his life].

Looking back on this thread and reading online in different women's magazine, there is a sense of entitlement.

Women were told they can do everything, be everything.

Go to college, get that career up in your 20's and have some fun while you're there. Many more options await you as men approach you often on the street.

When they hit 30+ [and look it], they are hit by a double whammy ... the fact that the guys prefer to date the new crop of girls that replaced them as 20yr old hotties, and the fact that the clock is ticking on having kids ... and the experience of relationships is simply not there.

Then they turn around and ask ... where are the men we were promised, we could EVERYTHING ... why won't the men commit ??

 

Yes, there is some form of entitlement, and some men do enjoy the fall.

[zebracolors]

37 and single here and in a similar state to the OP. But the reason Im single now is that I spent like a combined 12 years in two separate LTRs that didn't work out. Now I feel like I want to make up for lost time. So Im not too worried about about getting into any serious relationships now, I still want to meet people, have fun while i get my life and career on track. I have recently dated a couple men in their 20s, but neither of them seemed to want to stick around. Meh.

 

I agree with who said finding an older man might be better if and when we're wanting any thing serious. For me, that'd be same age as me or even 39-43, give or take.

[iris219]

The problem is there are tons of women who like to have their "fun" in their 20's and expect to land a great guy to marry and start a family with in their 30's. What's wrong with this mindset is that a lot of men do not want a 30's housewife who was a 20's whore. The only guys who accept this are the ones who desire a woman out of his league.

 

Also, most of these women who go this route do not marry for love but rather for security. They end up miserable and depressed because they do not love the man they marry. That's another reason why the divorce rate is so high.

 

 

And there are tons of women, like myself, who made getting married and having children a priority throughout their 20s, but this never happened for them.

[Charlie Harper]

Having a partner, boyfriend or lover etc is a game that starts in the 20´s and sine a lot of persons make the mistake to marry the wrong woman or man they end up divorced quite young, also we now have the commitment-phobes, players, unnavailables, syndrome, on either side of the spectrum, also the reality that a lot of people have come out of the closet, its no wonder dating in general has become more difficult and complex.

 

Then throw in to the equation lots and lots of young divorced women desperate for security and sex that they are quite a force to reckon. So you as a young woman want a serious relationship and your possible partner is being innundated with online requests, cel messages, emails and who knows what by women who NEED a man no matter what . I have seen total douches with the brain of a bird get really beautiful women.

 

2 weeks ago I was in a business meeting in a Starbucks, I sat with my 2 divorced women friends, in the nearest was a guy and a very good looking woman, they stood up and they walked away and got into his car, both of them said " uffff what an idiot, a douche and a fool," I asked why do you know him? "hell no, we dont but you should have heard the conversation OMG, what a fool" I said "well he may be a fool but look he got the girl and he took off with her!" they look each other and frowned. MY point its you are competing with a lot more people.

 

Go out, join interest groups, travel, make yourself more available BUT as someone before me pointed out, be quick to discards the players, needy , losers and such dating fauna that wont make you any good. also go for people who you would never date, I have seen that we tend to certain kind of people and maybe your radar is broken and you attract exactly what you dont need.

 

There are plenty of fish out there just get the right equipment.