LoverOfDance Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 When I mention anything relating to the "L" word, he turns away. Why? I'm just curious as to why he does this. We are not together. He has a gf but I used to like him and he knows cause I told him however I'm not sure how I feel now. We are just friends now but he refuses to talk to me. It's weird cause we hang out in the same circle. I can't talk to everyone else and not talk to him. It doesn't feel right. I try to talk to him but it's difficult to make conversation with him. He keeps making jokes that I don't really get and then he kind of walks ahead of me instead of walking with me. Why would u walk ahead of someone who's trying 2 make conversation with u? *scratches head*. He's confusing. He just seems a bit too sensitive to things I say especially when it has to do with love. What confuses me the most is his refusal to talk to me. He doesn't hate me. He actually likes me. He does everything else a friend would do 4 a friend except talk to me. Why won't he talk to me. Does anyone have an idea why?
SmileFace Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 He has a girl friend. You have expressed your interest in him. I wouldn't speak to you either. Are you two actual friends? Why does he need to talk to you? You aren't dating - putting this in the dating section is telling enough. He probably respects his relationship and doesn't want you messing it up.
Author LoverOfDance Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 He has a girl friend. You have expressed your interest in him. I wouldn't speak to you either. Are you two actual friends? Why does he need to talk to you? You aren't dating - putting this in the dating section is telling enough. He probably respects his relationship and doesn't want you messing it up. I don't understand how talking to me would be messing up his relationship. That doesn't make much sense to me. Yes we are friends. Whatever he would do for his other friends, he wld do 4 me as well so yes we are definitely friends.
lovebug1234 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 it doesn't raelly matter, just move on.
MrCastle Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Maybe you smell. Just kidding. Sort of. As was mentioned before, maybe he feels uncomfortable talking to a girl when he's in a relationship. Maybe he finds you too tempting to deal with and he doesn't want to be put in any potential sticky situation.
Author LoverOfDance Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 it doesn't raelly matter, just move on. Move on from what? I decided to let it all go the minute I decided to tell him how I felt. Like I said we are friends now. I treat him like a friend. I don't flirt, nothing. So what exactly should I be moving on from? Btw, I only put this thread in this section cause there's more traffic here and I'm hoping to get more replies/advice here.
2sunny Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 It belongs in the other woman section. You're basically begging him to be his OW - and cheat. A man walks ahead of a woman - means he does not see you as his equal - he feels superior than you.
Yookie Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 He thinks you're creepy and feels awkward maybe because you told him you liked him. He's trying to keep his distance from you to make it clear that he's NOT interested in you. Why are you even mentioning anything having to do with the L word? Bringing this up after he rejected you is probably the reason for the jokes. Move on... meaning leave him alone and stop trying to figure him out. Focus on someone else. Focus on someone who doesn't have a girlfriend already and likes you too. 1
Author LoverOfDance Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 Maybe you smell. Just kidding. Sort of. As was mentioned before, maybe he feels uncomfortable talking to a girl when he's in a relationship. Maybe he finds you too tempting to deal with and he doesn't want to be put in any potential sticky situation. Ha! He's the biggest flirt in the world. He flirts with every girl in our circle except me, lol. Probably because I don't flirt with him so he doesn't even try cause he knows I won't respond. And I really don't think it's because he finds me too tempting. He's always been scared 2 talk to me. Always had nothing to say and sometimes would repeat something someone else had already said to me. I thought that when I told him I liked him(and that was 10 months ago) it would loosen him up a little bit but nope, nothing, nada. Still the same. What is it about me that makes him uncomfortable. I really don't understand why he can't just talk to me like he talks to everyone else.
MrCastle Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Ha! He's the biggest flirt in the world. He flirts with every girl in our circle except me, lol. Probably because I don't flirt with him so he doesn't even try cause he knows I won't respond. And I really don't think it's because he finds me too tempting. He's always been scared 2 talk to me. Always had nothing to say and sometimes would repeat something someone else had already said to me. I thought that when I told him I liked him(and that was 10 months ago) it would loosen him up a little bit but nope, nothing, nada. Still the same. What is it about me that makes him uncomfortable. I really don't understand why he can't just talk to me like he talks to everyone else. Ahh. Then I go back to my initial theory. You smell. Are you showering after these dances? What kind of dances are we talking? Exotic dances? You have to baby wipe certains areas if that's the case
Author LoverOfDance Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 He thinks you're creepy and feels awkward maybe because you told him you liked him. He's trying to keep his distance from you to make it clear that he's NOT interested in you. Why are you even mentioning anything having to do with the L word? Bringing this up after he rejected you is probably the reason for the jokes. Move on... meaning leave him alone and stop trying to figure him out. Focus on someone else. Focus on someone who doesn't have a girlfriend already and likes you too. Why would I talk to him about love? I don't love him. Like I said I'm not sure how I feel rht now. When I talk about love, it's usually when I'm having a conversation with someone else. Sometimes he listens when I talk to other ppl.
Author LoverOfDance Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 Ahh. Then I go back to my initial theory. You smell. Are you showering after these dances? What kind of dances are we talking? Exotic dances? You have to baby wipe certains areas if that's the case Lol, you're funny. I don't smell. At least no one else avoids talking to me so I know I smell fine.
MrCastle Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Lol, you're funny. I don't smell. At least no one else avoids talking to me so I know I smell fine. Mmmm
Author LoverOfDance Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 I think I know how he feels now. I've been ignoring the signs and telling myself it can't be true but I know now that my instincts have been rht. I don't know how all this is going to end but I'm grateful 4 this whole experience. I know now that I still have feelings 4 him. I like him so much cause he likes me back. I didn't believe it b4 cause it's never happened to me b4. I've never liked a guy who liked me back. The more I think about it, the more I like him. I've moved on in the sense that I don't care whether or not we end up together. I know that whatever happens, everything will be fine. No matter what happens, he'll always be special to me. Whether or not, we get to be together doesn't matter. He'll always have a special place in my heart.
snowflakes88 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Are you waiting for someone to say he is behaving this way because he likes you? I don't think that is the case. I agree with the others that he likely behaves this way because he feels uncomfortable. He is in a relationship. With someone else. Not you. He knows how you feel, and he still does not choose you. He has chosen her. This may sound harsh, but I'm only saying it this way because your post history suggests that you have an irrational and unhealthy obsession with this man who is not interested in you. For your sanity, you need to let. this. go.
Author LoverOfDance Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 Yeah, you're rht. I guess I was waiting 4 someone to confirm my suspicion. I don't care what anyone thinks about how I feel about him. I really like this man and I'm done fighting my feelings 4 him. I'll continue to keep my distance and limit contact but as 4 fighting this feelings? I'm not doing it anymore. It is not a crime to like someone this much. The heart doesn't give a damn about relationship statuses and I'm sure your judgemental self knows that. It likes whomever it wants. It doesn't matter what u believe tbh. U don't know everything cause I haven't told u everything. And I'll prefer to keep it that way. End of story.
Author LoverOfDance Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 Are you waiting for someone to say he is behaving this way because he likes you? I don't think that is the case. I agree with the others that he likely behaves this way because he feels uncomfortable. He is in a relationship. With someone else. Not you. He knows how you feel, and he still does not choose you. He has chosen her. This may sound harsh, but I'm only saying it this way because your post history suggests that you have an irrational and unhealthy obsession with this man who is not interested in you. For your sanity, you need to let. this. go. You're so wrong it's laughable. Be careful when u give advice. Stop making conclusions. U have no idea how wrong u are. Ask questions b4 u conclude plz
MrCastle Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 The heart doesn't give a damn about relationship statuses and I'm sure your judgemental self knows that. It likes whomever it wants. It doesn't matter what u believe tbh. U don't know everything cause I haven't told u everything. And I'll prefer to keep it that way. End of story. I have to admit I agree with this. I'm not endorsing infidelity of any kind but I do think the heart wants who it wants. There have been several girls who have been in relationships. Didn't stop me from liking them and being tempted to act on it. Ultimately I always decided it would be best to stay away, but my feelings for them never changed.
snowflakes88 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 You're so wrong it's laughable. Be careful when u give advice. Stop making conclusions. U have no idea how wrong u are. Ask questions b4 u conclude plz You should have said in your first post that you only want to be told what you want to hear. Simple.
sid3 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 You should have said in your first post that you only want to be told what you want to hear. Simple. Exactly... Just another reminder for every creepy guy out there, there's an equally creepy girl.
Imported Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Maybe because he doesn't like you in the way you obviously like him. Maybe he flirts with all the other girls, because they don't take it serious and he doesn't flirt with you, because you'll obviously take it serious and he doesn't want you getting the wrong idea and that seems to have backfired on him because you're going to think what you want to think while ignoring reality. You told him how you feel and it sounds like you repeatedly do that. Have you told his girlfriend how you feel? At best, he may lust for you, break down after your stupidity of going after someone already taken. Have dirty ****ing sex with you, ruin his chances at an honest relationship with the girl he actually wants and hate you for causing that. How was that for coming to conclusions?
Author LoverOfDance Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 Maybe because he doesn't like you in the way you obviously like him. Maybe he flirts with all the other girls, because they don't take it serious and he doesn't flirt with you, because you'll obviously take it serious and he doesn't want you getting the wrong idea and that seems to have backfired on him because you're going to think what you want to think while ignoring reality. You told him how you feel and it sounds like you repeatedly do that. Have you told his girlfriend how you feel? At best, he may lust for you, break down after your stupidity of going after someone already taken. Have dirty ****ing sex with you, ruin his chances at an honest relationship with the girl he actually wants and hate you for causing that. How was that for coming to conclusions? Thanks 4 the attack. Do u realize ppl who like ppl in relationships are human beings too? Why attack them and and see them as villains just because they have no control over their feelings. Your attack might have been justified if I was chasing him and helping him cheat on his gf but that is not the case. Why u think I repeatedly tell him I have feelings 4 him, I don't know. In your eyes, I'm already the "bad guy" simply because I have feelings 4 a man with a gf. The only reason why I constantly talk about him on this site is because in a way, I see this site as a personal diary. In reality, this case is already closed and he knows that. He never picked his gf over me FYI. I never asked him to pick. She is my friend and even if she wasn't, I wld never do that. I haven't done anything wrong. The only thing I've done is fall 4 an unavailable man and u reply me with such negativity. Plz don't comment anymore cause I won't reply.
Author LoverOfDance Posted December 24, 2012 Author Posted December 24, 2012 I have to admit I agree with this. I'm not endorsing infidelity of any kind but I do think the heart wants who it wants. There have been several girls who have been in relationships. Didn't stop me from liking them and being tempted to act on it. Ultimately I always decided it would be best to stay away, but my feelings for them never changed. Exactly. It's funny cause a lot of ppl don't even do this. They chase ppl in relationships and try to steal them from their partners and reality is that some of them actually succeed. I have a friend who told me that if she was in my position she would try to steal him away. I'm not doing any of that and yet I'm still getting attacked. I wonder what they would do if I actually chased him and I stole him away. They would probably tie me to a stake and burn me alive.
nessaaa Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 (edited) Hes embarrased by you- hence why he doesnt walk with u. He knows you liked him- thats why he avoids the love conversation with you. Its awkward for him. You guys arent friends hes just being nice. Edited December 24, 2012 by nessaaa
snowflakes88 Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Exactly. It's funny cause a lot of ppl don't even do this. They chase ppl in relationships and try to steal them from their partners and reality is that some of them actually succeed. I have a friend who told me that if she was in my position she would try to steal him away. I'm not doing any of that and yet I'm still getting attacked. I wonder what they would do if I actually chased him and I stole him away. They would probably tie me to a stake and burn me alive. Exactly who is attacking you? No one has said you are a bad person for liking him. You can't control how you feel. I think everyone knows what it feels like to care for someone who is in a relationship with someone else or who does not otherwise reciprocate your feelings. Nobody is beating you up about that. You asked a question - why he does not talk to you. Multiple people have answered by saying it's likely because he KNOWS you like him, does not like you that way, and is uncomfortable about the situation. And that your obsessing over this is unhealthy. That is not attacking you or burning you at the stake. It's answering your question - it's just not the answer you wanted to hear. Again, if you only wanted people to tell you he's ignoring you because he's in love with you, you should have said that.
Recommended Posts