Lostnympho Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I found the man I want to grow old with, have kids with, etc. He is my best friend. Since I was very young I have had a crazy sex drive. I remember the dr having my mom put tape over my clitoris so that I could not masturbate. A sex addiction I thought I could keep under control but one I now am starting to realize controls my life. My husband was a virgin when we met, but he satisfied easily satisfied me. We only had sex maybe at most four times a month. He always said sex before marriage bothered him. He was a modest guy but nothing concerned me. After we were married we stopped using condoms. This resulted in the minute man syndrome. He refuses to go down on me with his mouth or fingers. He apologizes after every sexual encounter we have now. He rarely lets me see him without his shirt. We have had sex once in the last two months. We have been together four years married for a year and a half. I need to feel wanted. My best friend and partner in life has no sex drive and mine is out of control. I'm having serious thoughts and dreams about other men. This is not what I want but I don't know what to do:sick:
Mina Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 And this is why sex before marriage is important. Sexual comparability is a must. In the event this is a real post and not a troll, marital therapy is the first step. After that, probably divorce. This will sink down and you will either start to loathe and despise him or cheat if it's not resolved. Welcome to LS 3
Author Lostnympho Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 Not a troll. Second marriage I'm starting to give up on the marital dream.
Mina Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Not a troll. Second marriage I'm starting to give up on the marital dream. Ok, well again welcome. Marital therapy to have the issue worked out is the first step. From how well that goes, the next course of action will follow. Stick around, weekends are a bit slow here. Some other people with a bit more experience than a 21 year old kid will give some sound advise here. Bump the thread on Monday if there aren't any more replies. Best of luck to you. 1
Radu Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Sounds like he has religious hangups. You have 2 choices really. 1 - reach a compromise and have him overcome his issues 2 - open relationship Either way it all goes through MC. 1
Charlie Harper Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Sounds like he has religious hangups. You have 2 choices really. 1 - reach a compromise and have him overcome his issues 2 - open relationship Either way it all goes through MC. Or buy a really good vibrator and a heck of a pack of batteries!! LOL. Now on a serious note that is why is so important to be compatible in the fisrt place, if you have high drive on your significant other does not in the long run it ruins the marriage. Maqybe he can get hormone therapy men get low drive as women because of lack of hormones. 1
Els Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I remember the dr having my mom put tape over my clitoris so that I could not masturbate. Definitely a troll....
gaius Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Definitely a troll.... Wouldn't the tape just fall off in the shower?
Els Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Wouldn't the tape just fall off in the shower? Not to mention that no doctor would ever suggest that. 1
stillafool Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Not a troll. Second marriage I'm starting to give up on the marital dream. It would seem that if you didn't get enough sex in your first marriage it would certainly be a number 1 priority in choosing a second husband. How did you miss that?
Nightsky Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I found the man I want to grow old with, have kids with, etc. He is my best friend. Since I was very young I have had a crazy sex drive. I remember the dr having my mom put tape over my clitoris so that I could not masturbate. I stopped reading after this lol 1
Author Lostnympho Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 I was so young I don't rem specifics but I rem her having to remove it for me to use the bathroom. I'm seriously not a troll. Maybe just a ****ed up childhood.
Author Lostnympho Posted December 26, 2012 Author Posted December 26, 2012 I guess everybody believes I made all this up and nobody has any real advice? I think I need to break down and find a shrink.
Author Lostnympho Posted December 26, 2012 Author Posted December 26, 2012 It would seem that if you didn't get enough sex in your first marriage it would certainly be a number 1 priority in choosing a second husband. How did you miss that? The first marriage ended bc there was a serious age gap and he wanted to play instead of pay the bills.
Imported Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 Definitely a troll.... After walking in on a friends sister dildo-ing herself with a hotdog when I was in high school and the friend telling me how her sister just constantly masturbates and had to be contained from ****ing every guy, yes nymphos are real. Her little sister seriously had very low self-control at a very young age. I don't know what is so hard to believe. Also, doctors are not the end all be all and can sometimes tell you to do really stupid ****. The only part I find unbelievable is she (OP) hasn't already been ****ing every guy she can if she is really a nympho and her husband only provides sex....and bad sex at that...so very few times a year.
todreaminblue Posted December 26, 2012 Posted December 26, 2012 (edited) I found the man I want to grow old with, have kids with, etc. He is my best friend. Since I was very young I have had a crazy sex drive. I remember the dr having my mom put tape over my clitoris so that I could not masturbate. A sex addiction I thought I could keep under control but one I now am starting to realize controls my life. My husband was a virgin when we met, but he satisfied easily satisfied me. We only had sex maybe at most four times a month. He always said sex before marriage bothered him. He was a modest guy but nothing concerned me. After we were married we stopped using condoms. This resulted in the minute man syndrome. He refuses to go down on me with his mouth or fingers. He apologizes after every sexual encounter we have now. He rarely lets me see him without his shirt. We have had sex once in the last two months. We have been together four years married for a year and a half. I need to feel wanted. My best friend and partner in life has no sex drive and mine is out of control. I'm having serious thoughts and dreams about other men. This is not what I want but I don't know what to do:sick: i think you need counseling not only marriage counselling but addiction recovery therapy...there is a difference between high sex drive and nymphomania...it is unusual for children to be nymphs.......and excessive masturbation as a child can be a sign of autism.it also can be a sign of early childhood sexual abuse......i really do think therapy will help there are mdications that either lower or increase sex drive.i was on medication that one side effect was all desire fro sex was decreased into non existence and it was for the treatment of schizo affective disorder...i haven't taken it in a long time and my desires are kicking in pretty strongly .i have a good amount of self control and wariness with my desires however.....what i am trying to say is either partner could take medication to balance this issue out......i am down on meds at the moment but is an option for you guys to consider ...i think therapy both marriage therapy and or addicton recovery therapy might be helpful... .there is more to a relationship than sex one of the reasons i feel sex should be after marriage is...if you have problems in that department you are more likely to work on them if you are married rather than say ok....NEXXXXXXXT NOT COMPATIBLE SEXUALLY NEED TO CONCENTRATE ON SEX SIDE OF THINGS. relationships should not in my opinion be based on sexual compatability because over the years, that could possibly wane, fade or maybe change...you shouldnt get divorced if it does so.....why base a relationship on it?..the other reason is the bible has it right and always has....and i do have a high sex drive .love sex when i love soemone......i would rather have that high sex drive in a committed and lovign relationship where its right to have it.....not casual sex lubed up and sliding around ...and saying nexxxxxt if sex is your only issue it is salvageable if you are open and honest and both of you willing to work on it...hard it wont be easy...., he has insecurities about his shirt or his body or he is working on not attracting your sex drive .........that needs to be worked on too....deb Edited December 26, 2012 by todreaminblue
Els Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 After walking in on a friends sister dildo-ing herself with a hotdog when I was in high school and the friend telling me how her sister just constantly masturbates and had to be contained from ****ing every guy, yes nymphos are real. Her little sister seriously had very low self-control at a very young age. I don't know what is so hard to believe. Also, doctors are not the end all be all and can sometimes tell you to do really stupid ****. The only part I find unbelievable is she (OP) hasn't already been ****ing every guy she can if she is really a nympho and her husband only provides sex....and bad sex at that...so very few times a year. I don't understand how you could read my post and the part I quoted and think that the point of my post was that, "it is impossible for women to be crazy from sexual arousal". No doctor who suggested tape on the clitoris would have graduated, period.
Author Lostnympho Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 We finally had a serious discussion about his sex drive. He believes he is a-sexual. He suggested I find a man on the side. One he doesn't know, to take care of my needs. He says he does not want a divorce or any other woman. He wants me to be satisfied and for him to preferably not know about it. Is this capable of working? I am already cheating, but can it last with this kind of arrangement?
RandomName12 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 It sounds like he could be a closet homosexual to be honest, although this may not be the case. Get his hormone levels checked as this could just be something physical. The probability of this working is up to you but even if I understood the situation I'd still personally feel a bit of resentment to the fact my partner wouldn't want a sexual relationship with me. Not to mention the added dangers of getting emotionally attached to one of your other sexual partners. Good luck.
chex Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 We finally had a serious discussion about his sex drive. He believes he is a-sexual. He suggested I find a man on the side. One he doesn't know, to take care of my needs. He says he does not want a divorce or any other woman. He wants me to be satisfied and for him to preferably not know about it. Is this capable of working? I am already cheating, but can it last with this kind of arrangement? So some other guy acting as a sort of booty call? I dunno, do you connect sex and emotions? Because that might mean you'll get more attached to this other guy.
CarrieT Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 We finally had a serious discussion about his sex drive. He believes he is a-sexual. He suggested I find a man on the side. One he doesn't know, to take care of my needs. He says he does not want a divorce or any other woman. He wants me to be satisfied and for him to preferably not know about it. Is this capable of working? I am already cheating, but can it last with this kind of arrangement? Usually this type of arrangement is known as "Cuckolding" but the guy usually wants to know about who is servicing his wife. If he believes he is a-sexual and is not interested in working out an equitable relationship that satisfies you both, then - no - the type of arrangement he is suggesting will not work. You will ultimately fall in love with someone else who DOES satisfy you in ever way you want. 1
evaro Posted February 6, 2013 Posted February 6, 2013 (edited) A decreasing sex drive is often the result of poor testosterone levels in the body. Low testosterone is a fairly common occurrence among men but one that’s highly treatable. Good luck! Edited February 6, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed url to commercial site
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