Necris Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Recently I went on a date with a girl, this date here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/362354-went-date-went-good-2.html , anyway after the date I had sent her a message telling her I had a nice time and that we should do it again, and I wished her a happy Christmas and safe trip (she's going somewhere for a month) but I noticed she never responded, is that a bad sign or am I just overthinking things? As for background the date itself went pretty good and she seemed to have enjoyed herself and acted very nice and well mannered and afterwards she thanked me for taking her to the movie so things seemed to go well, now there was no flirting really of any sort at all during the date or anything like that, but I did manage to give her a brief light contact hug afterwards, and we seemed to have very little in common, but that's all good since it was a first date. Though this was my second time asking her out as the first time it took 10 days for a reply and she said she was busy but the second time she wanted to see the Hobbit.
MrCastle Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Well, it's not bad...but it's certainly not good.
SmileFace Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Dude she doesn't not seem a bit interested judging from the prior thread and now the no response. Let her contact you. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Necris weather she had or has any real interest in you comes down to the details of that hug, and if you had some preexisting relationship. Did she initiate it? Did she give you full frontal contact during the hug? Uninhibited contact from shoulders to breast to pelvis...like she really wanted to feel your body? That is the kind of hug we give someone we feel intimately connected to in a genuine way. Or was it a quick pat on the back with shoulders touching...hips far apart? If it was this the she was just being nice. You took her to the movies and saved her $7. I am by no means an expert on everything but movies are a really bad date. Unless you are to a point of intimacy where you can communicate without words (i.e. dating for a good long while, or were real friends first and have that unspoken rapport.) Go on a more active date, or one which forces you to talk and get to know eachother. TL;DR: If you had an established RLship of some kind, even friendly, then perhaps every thing will be ok. If this is just someone you met, especially off OLD forget her. She could be half way to engaged to someone else by now.
Author Necris Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 Necris weather she had or has any real interest in you comes down to the details of that hug, and if you had some preexisting relationship. Did she initiate it? Did she give you full frontal contact during the hug? Uninhibited contact from shoulders to breast to pelvis...like she really wanted to feel your body? That is the kind of hug we give someone we feel intimately connected to in a genuine way. Or was it a quick pat on the back with shoulders touching...hips far apart? If it was this the she was just being nice. You took her to the movies and saved her $7. I am by no means an expert on everything but movies are a really bad date. Unless you are to a point of intimacy where you can communicate without words (i.e. dating for a good long while, or were real friends first and have that unspoken rapport.) Go on a more active date, or one which forces you to talk and get to know eachother. TL;DR: If you had an established RLship of some kind, even friendly, then perhaps every thing will be ok. If this is just someone you met, especially off OLD forget her. She could be half way to engaged to someone else by now. Not sure how important hugs are but it was just a simple one second no hips touching non intimate friendly hug. As for prior relationship, not really, now she isn't a total stranger from the internet, I just knew her as a friendly girl that I happen to see on occasion when I'm walking somewhere. Though I wish I wouldn't think so much about these things, and I wish I could read people easily.
Author Necris Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 She's not interested, Necris. That's unfortunate, oh well, I guess I'll just wait to see if she contacts me on her own.
CptObvious Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 aahhhh sorry necris. Always hurts to see anyone go out like that.
crude Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I don't care what the people who think the man must always be the one to ask for a date say, it was her turn to ask you out after you asked her but she was too busy. The mere fact you had to ask again means she just wasn't that into you. The way it went confirms that IMO.
Author Necris Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 (edited) I don't care what the people who think the man must always be the one to ask for a date say, it was her turn to ask you out after you asked her but she was too busy. The mere fact you had to ask again means she just wasn't that into you. The way it went confirms that IMO. Oh well it seems she isn't all that interested, its probably best to just wait until she decides to call me back though I doubt she would, well at least I went on a date, I rarely ever go on dates I'm usually rejected before then, unfortunately I haven't been capable of getting 2 dates with the same girl yet, perhaps one day I'll achieve this. Edited December 22, 2012 by Necris
phineas Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I avoid actually going out with new women I meet who are going on a trip. More than a few times I found out they never actually went on said trip. LOL! Other times you find yourself waiting around while they have forgotten about you. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Not sure how important hugs are but it was just a simple one second no hips touching non intimate friendly hug. Necris, dating is about building intimacy. Your move closer should, at least most of the time result in their moving closer. i.e. A young woman I've been talking to. I placed my hand on her shoulder, she turned around towards me in such a way that my arm natrually wraps around her even more and we end up facing eachother. We held that pose for about ten seconds talking. No one put concious thought into it. That shows that, at the very least, she's not repulsed by touching me. The hug she gave you sounds just a little more intimate than a handshake, and less intimate than a bro hug chest bump, and not nearly as intimate as what I call a "full chested breast hug with pelvis contact". That last one, women will give good intimate friends that kind of hug when they are feeling emotional, and to people they feel attracted to. Bottom line, unless you've left out a key detail, she's not into you.
Author Necris Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 Necris, dating is about building intimacy. Your move closer should, at least most of the time result in their moving closer. i.e. A young woman I've been talking to. I placed my hand on her shoulder, she turned around towards me in such a way that my arm natrually wraps around her even more and we end up facing eachother. We held that pose for about ten seconds talking. No one put concious thought into it. That shows that, at the very least, she's not repulsed by touching me. The hug she gave you sounds just a little more intimate than a handshake, and less intimate than a bro hug chest bump, and not nearly as intimate as what I call a "full chested breast hug with pelvis contact". That last one, women will give good intimate friends that kind of hug when they are feeling emotional, and to people they feel attracted to. Bottom line, unless you've left out a key detail, she's not into you. From my experience there was no feeling of any intimacy of really any sort during the date, but I thought for a first date that's alright.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Well the intimacy and interest should build up over the course of the date. You should feel like wow...I really liked being with this person and want to soak them up. Even if you were real true friends first, by the time you go on a romantic date there should be no doubt about at least wanting to get a feel for the persons whole body.
Author Necris Posted December 27, 2012 Author Posted December 27, 2012 Well I called her on Christmas to tell her Merry Christmas though I did wait until the day was almost over to see if she was going to call first, just in case, unfortunately she didn't but after a few hours she responded to my message saying Merry Christmas. Though I wouldn't get my hopes up, since that was most likely just common courtesy.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 27, 2012 Posted December 27, 2012 Yeah it's hard to imagine why someone would totally ignore a Merry Christmas from someone, anyone.
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