becks77 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Grrrr! Been a month since I last had contact with my ex - even though we broke up in September we did that whole sleeping together thing, with him keeping me on the hook telling me he didn't want to lose me...anyway after all that torture I went NC. But...now that it's xmas I feel like I want to send him a message to wish him happy xmas etc - I mean I feel like all those feelings and the friendship we had has been thrown away and I'm struggling with it. I want him to see a message from me and think about me...even though I really know that it would be stupid to contact him... Also I foolishly found his new online dating profile - he is 41 and told me that he would never have anything in common with anyone under 27/28 and yet he has put his ideal partner's age at 20-36!!! I'd love to pull him up on that one!!! I guess I just need you guys to talk some sense into me - I would rather post on here than email him...but I miss him, even if he doesn;t miss me...
LostOne1 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 See I was thinking the same.. texting my ex for xmas, new yrs and her bday in Jan. But then I realized WHY? Do I want my ex to know after 3 months I still am dying for her? If we show that weakness they KNOW they still have us and we miss them. But by NOT contacting them, we can send a good clear message. We don't care about you and we won't beg for you back. We are better than that to have to beg. That's why I realized the ultimate weapon is NC during this holiday season. Which is why I decided to volunteer. I don't need or want to text my ex, because it shows I care. And to be honest, if she can put me through all this... and never reach out. Why the hell should I? She left me.. it wasn't ME that left her. I worked out through all our problems and even in the end wanted too.. not my fault she didn't. So we have no reason to send them anything during the holidays. It's a time of weakness for us, because we won't have a xmas, new yr etc. with them this year. But THEY made that decision when they left us. Trust me it's best to let it be and make no contact at all. It will only hurt more if you do. And you don't want to feel like **** during the holidays do ya? You'll feel MUCH worse than you do now trust me on that one. 1
suladas Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Don't do it. If they care, they will be the one to reach out. If not, whatever. You'll feel 100x worse if you reach out and get silence. 1
ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 The holidays sucks especially when you just recently exited a relationship. I know its hard to maintain NC when the holidays are here. It's particularly difficult when you are so used to spending it with the ex, however maintaining NC is the right and only thing to do. I know its hard because you want the other person to think about you. I'm guilty of that as well. The fact of the matter is that they aren't and that's always hard to accept. If you reach out and you don't get a response or worse yet you do get a response it will only make you happy for a short period of time. Thereafter you will want more contact and will set yourself up for dissapointment. I know its hard through the holidays but the best thing to do is to be strong and maintain NC. The alternative will set you back and hurt you even more. Good Luck and stay strong. 1
Author becks77 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 Good advice - I wrote an email today and then deleted it before I sent it - I think checking his online dating profile made me take a step back - just when I was feeling better - well I won't be looking at that again!! I know that any contact would make me feel worse in the long run - thanks for keeping me strong! This time of year sucks!!
Sugarkane Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Be strong and surround yourself with other people instead. What's the ex sending you for Christmas? That's right nothing. So they deserve nothing in return. 2
Kevinsturm Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 she just broke up with me last saturday because she was uncertain what she wanted and so on, she texted me this week, to which i didnt respond then she texted me are you up, to which i didnt respond. shes home for the holidayd and im seriously thinking im gonna text her.
Jigger Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 If you make contact you might... Not get a response Get a response but not what you want Get the response you want (unlikely) But if you don't make contact then you will never know. So if you really want to know, make contact. Some things you're better off not knowing. Do something to take your mind of wanting to contact. 2
sotoman Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 dont do it! apparantly this guy isnt too interested in how youre doing, since he hasnt contacted you. if he does contact you and wish you happy holidays, etc, then be polite and return the greeting. other than that, dont bother. he seems to have better things to do, and you deserve better as well. 2
Author becks77 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 dont do it! apparantly this guy isnt too interested in how youre doing, since he hasnt contacted you. if he does contact you and wish you happy holidays, etc, then be polite and return the greeting. other than that, dont bother. he seems to have better things to do, and you deserve better as well. Thanks for that - I need to hear stuff like that - he isn't thinking about me so I need to stop thinking about him - am definitely going to stay NC!
Author becks77 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 she just broke up with me last saturday because she was uncertain what she wanted and so on, she texted me this week, to which i didnt respond then she texted me are you up, to which i didnt respond. shes home for the holidayd and im seriously thinking im gonna text her. If she does text then just tell her that you don't want to hear from her until she has made up her mind - there is no point in having contact if she still feels that same way and wants to break up. Be strong - I'm trying to be - christmas time is tough to be apart from someone you care about but if she broke up with you then you need to go no contact.
Recommended Posts