sadbunnyy Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 My ex has been contacting me asking me little questions like how i was doing, what im doing for christmas, and if i worked during the holidays. I couldn't take it anymore so I sent him this email... "Thank you for asking how I am doing...I didn't think you cared.... I respected the fact that you don't want to be with me anymore. If you don't see me in your life, I don't think we need to remain in contact...I don't want to feel any confusion. If you just want to be friends I don't think that I can do that. Bless you and your family this Christmas" Then I went on my facebook and I saw that he reopened his facebook too. He was commenting other girls and liking their pictures? I felt so sad and confused... so I sent him another email saying... "I opened my old facebook and saw that you opened yours too. I saw that you were commenting other girls and liking their pictures. I have no say in what you do since your single but dont play with my heart by contacting me after you broke up with me. I feel so confused. I dont want to be played around with. I'm not a toy....I respect you enough that I would never do that to you. All i ask from you is to be kind to my heart...I always wanted you to be happy even if its not with me. Please dont contact me anymore if you dont have any good intentions..." Was I right for emailing this to him?? I couldn't help it....
na49 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Well to answer your question, no you weren't right to send him an email. You are even more wrong for sending him two emails. He read those emails, and probably giggled to himself. Or just read them, closed them, and forgot you even sent them. He definitely wants you to leave him alone by this point. As you should. He won't miss you if you don't disappear from his life. I know that it hurts to see him living life without you, but he doesn't owe you anything. He can comment on whoever's page he wants to. I highly doubt he had intentions on hurting you, but the fact that what he does bothers you tells me that you NEED to block him on facebook. Don't pay attention to what he's doing. It won't help you to heal. Unless you like being miserable, you have to take the proper steps to get better. Trust me, the longer you go not knowing what goes on in his life, the easier it will be to focus on what is going on in your life. If he respects your wishes you won't have to worry about him bothering you anymore. Even if he does, you shouldn't respond as if that isn't obvious enough.
Samilia Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 My ex has been contacting me asking me little questions like how i was doing, what im doing for christmas, and if i worked during the holidays. I couldn't take it anymore so I sent him this email... "Thank you for asking how I am doing...I didn't think you cared.... I respected the fact that you don't want to be with me anymore. If you don't see me in your life, I don't think we need to remain in contact...I don't want to feel any confusion. If you just want to be friends I don't think that I can do that. Bless you and your family this Christmas" Then I went on my facebook and I saw that he reopened his facebook too. He was commenting other girls and liking their pictures? I felt so sad and confused... so I sent him another email saying... "I opened my old facebook and saw that you opened yours too. I saw that you were commenting other girls and liking their pictures. I have no say in what you do since your single but dont play with my heart by contacting me after you broke up with me. I feel so confused. I dont want to be played around with. I'm not a toy....I respect you enough that I would never do that to you. All i ask from you is to be kind to my heart...I always wanted you to be happy even if its not with me. Please dont contact me anymore if you dont have any good intentions..." Was I right for emailing this to him?? I couldn't help it.... I would have sent that "If you don't see me in your life, I don't think we need to remain in contact" and that's it. The other info, including facebook stalking, wasn't necessary. I wouldn't feel bad about it, it's never too let to ignore his attempts to contact you.
Author sadbunnyy Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 Well to answer your question, no you weren't right to send him an email. You are even more wrong for sending him two emails. He read those emails, and probably giggled to himself. Or just read them, closed them, and forgot you even sent them. He definitely wants you to leave him alone by this point. As you should. He won't miss you if you don't disappear from his life. I know that it hurts to see him living life without you, but he doesn't owe you anything. He can comment on whoever's page he wants to. I highly doubt he had intentions on hurting you, but the fact that what he does bothers you tells me that you NEED to block him on facebook. Don't pay attention to what he's doing. It won't help you to heal. Unless you like being miserable, you have to take the proper steps to get better. Trust me, the longer you go not knowing what goes on in his life, the easier it will be to focus on what is going on in your life. If he respects your wishes you won't have to worry about him bothering you anymore. Even if he does, you shouldn't respond as if that isn't obvious enough. I did leave him alone...he was the one who initiated contact with me first! I just got sick of him constantly asking me questions about my life when he doesn't deserve to know since HE broke up with me...so I wanted to know what the deal was...
Author sadbunnyy Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 I would have sent that "If you don't see me in your life, I don't think we need to remain in contact" and that's it. The other info, including facebook stalking, wasn't necessary. I wouldn't feel bad about it, it's never too let to ignore his attempts to contact you. I know...but i was so sad and confused. I drank a whole bottle of alcohol because I couldn't take it anymore I felt like I needed to send that to him....to let him know that he cant just play around with me. I don't want him to think I'll keep talking to him while he talks to other girls...I respect myself more than that...
na49 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Respect yourself more than that. Start right now. You are free to talk to whoever you want, whenever you want. You don't owe him anything. He doesn't owe you anything as painful as it is to think. Let him be someone else's problem, the next time he breaks a girl's heart, it won't be yours. If him contacting you hurts you that much, blocking his number may be the next step. It's a difficult step to take, but sometimes it's a must. 1
Samilia Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I know...but i was so sad and confused. I drank a whole bottle of alcohol because I couldn't take it anymore I felt like I needed to send that to him....to let him know that he cant just play around with me. I don't want him to think I'll keep talking to him while he talks to other girls...I respect myself more than that... Well first, look at my signature, alcohol doesn't fix anything, it's just a bad choice of self medication. Secondly, if you want him to know you don't want to talk to him, just don't answer, at all. He will get the message.
Author sadbunnyy Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 Respect yourself more than that. Start right now. You are free to talk to whoever you want, whenever you want. You don't owe him anything. He doesn't owe you anything as painful as it is to think. Let him be someone else's problem, the next time he breaks a girl's heart, it won't be yours. If him contacting you hurts you that much, blocking his number may be the next step. It's a difficult step to take, but sometimes it's a must. I've changed my phone number because I thought it would help me heal...but he got in contact with me through email...I guess I still had hope, that's why i replied to him. I don't want him to think he can just walk out of my life and then come back whenever he wants...
Samilia Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I've changed my phone number because I thought it would help me heal...but he got in contact with me through email...I guess I still had hope, that's why i replied to him. I don't want him to think he can just walk out of my life and then come back whenever he wants... Well I don't know how to say this so here it goes.. tell him to F off. Why being nice to a guy who's walked all over you? Oh.. and emails can be blocked as well. Or you could make a rule to your mailbox, everytime you receive an email from him, set an auto answer that says "F off" But that's just me, I think that you should have a bit of fun in the process of forgetting him for good.
cavalier99 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I regret all communication with my EX post BU except the email that essentially said. DONT CONTACT ME EVER AGAIN. THANK YOU. Many of us sent emails, begged did stupid stuff in the days post BU. It is a learning experience. So no big deal. Now about your emails. What is done is done. It doesn't matter what he thinks anymore. Or how he might feel or respond to the emails because he doesn't exist any more in your new world. Understand? What matters is that by sending these you lower your self esteem and start questioning etcetera. And mind f-k yourself. So to avoid this you need complete NC and to block him on everything. This will protect you from hurting yourself more by checking up on him and emailing.
cavalier99 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Well first, look at my signature, alcohol doesn't fix anything, it's just a bad choice of self medication. Secondly, if you want him to know you don't want to talk to him, just don't answer, at all. He will get the message. Ive been partying a lot the last couple weeks. Multiple Christmas parties, seeing old friends, chatting up new girls. Its been great! Ive started to feel like my old self. Social, confident and thinking less of my EX. But im 11 weeks NC. Right after the BU I avoided alcohol. When i did drink or went out to a bar felt like crying. Now im having a blast! But im not using alcohol to drown my sorrows just to socialize...and i don't need it to feel good.
Samilia Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I wish I could drink, I'm one of those people who gets a buzz after one beer.. doesn't that suck or what? But again I don't have any training
cavalier99 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I wish I could drink, I'm one of those people who gets a buzz after one beer.. doesn't that suck or what? But again I don't have any training LOL WOW One beer. I wish i was like that my bar tab would be so much lower! We should go out id know exactly your limit
Samilia Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 lol yup, I'm cheap to go out with, at least at a bar 1
MyAngel Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I think there's nothing wrong with the first email at all. It is perfect and straight to the point. The second one... You probably shouldn't have sent that. But what's done is done. You can't take it back. No more emails
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