ruthy29 Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 So I started talking to a guy on Twitter about 18 months ago, and we got on well. He's a jokey, light hearted kinda guy and generally is suggestive about things, but tends to be like this with everyone. I've also had many convos with him via text which have been very suggestive, but nothing "inappropriate"(ie no dodgy pics or anything like that!!) He separated from his wife earlier this year, and lives separately from her. I don't know the whys, but he still wears a wedding ring but on the other hand, but refers to her as his ex. In August this year, we met in person, and got on great - chatted about everything and anything for a few hours, and could easily have chatted more. I started falling for him more then, but never really knew whether he wanted more (as he is technically still married) and worried if I went a little bit more "suggestive" it may ruin the friendship. A few weekends ago, he visited family near where I live and then popped in to see me on his way home. He kissed me on the lips as soon as he got to my house, which I found weird - or is it normal for people to be greeted like that?! He stayed a while, we chatted, got on well etc, then as he left, he kissed me again, said I had nice lips and went. However, following that I didn't hear from him, despite me sending him a text related to a jokey convo we'd had (so the text was very tongue in cheek) - he'd usually respond immediately but it took him a week or so to respond. Now we're back to jokey convos etc again. But, I guess I really want to know... should I tell him I like him? Why would he kiss me?! Does that mean he likes me?! Is the situation too messy anyway with his (ex)wife (he also has 2 kids who he sees most days - therefore must also see his wife most days!) Sorry if I've not explained well enough, I'm just so confused! Any advice appreciated!
Author ruthy29 Posted December 21, 2012 Author Posted December 21, 2012 Sorry the title of the thread is so obscure, the forum wouldn't let me call it "confused!"
CarrieT Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 A separated man is not one who is free to get involved in a relationship. ANYTHING can happen in the divorce process - including reuniting with the spouse. I dated a man for several months who told me he was separated. I took a chance and got burned when they decided to "work on the marriage." Be careful - especially if he is still wearing his ring!
veggirl Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Did you ask why he wears a wedding ring if he is "separated"? How far apart do you two live? Really, you met on Twitter, he is "separated", you live at least a decent distance apart....who started talking to who? I bet he has a slew of girls in different cities that he's met on Twitter and hits up when he's in their area. FORGET HIIM! even IF he is truly separated and on his way to divorce, he'd be rebounding.
18Years2Late Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 He's still wearing his ring but on the other hand???...did I read that right??? What would be the point of that other than to have a safe place to keep it so that he doesn't misplace it before he has to put it back on the other hand and go home... Geez...a man or woman who is actively divorcing wants little to nothing to do with a symbol of a former failed marriage...don't fall for the cr@p... 2
veryhappy Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 He's separated, but not divorced. He's not divorced and still very married. Is it easier to go through a divorce or stay married? If the W is not mental, it's easier to stay married. Protect yourself, because nobody will do it for you and MM tend to choose the easy way. Also, stop the sex because it only intensifies his sessions with the W. He feels on top of the world between two women and will try to keep that limbo forever.
Author ruthy29 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 Thanks everyone. All of your comments are things I've been thinking myself, but it seems that they only resonate when other people say what you've been thinking - seems like a lightbulb moment! So thanks all. I'm going to avoid contact for my own sake, which sounds selfish, but I've been hurt by single men in the past, let alone someone who isn't single (and, as has been said, he's still married if he's not divorced) LadyGrey: We have a mutual friend (who I started following him on Twitter through) and he confirms he is really separated and living in a different house etc to his wife. Mutual friend won't talk about it more than that though (ie I couldn't ask him about the ring etc) CarrieT: thanks for sharing your experience, and sorry it ended with you getting hurt veggirl: Not asked about the ring although I've always wondered about it! We live about 20 miles apart. Thanks for your helpful comments! Alice: very true. Never thought of it like that! 18years2late: The ring thing is the big thing that bugs me. As mentioned above he is definitely separated, but it does seem VERY odd he still wears it, even if it is on the other hand. I definitely need to be more assertive and not listen to any of his cr@p! Cutedragon - thanks! I know I need to just step away now, and protect myself as you say. Nothing has happened more than a kiss, and that was a shock as mentioned in my first post! Thanks again all. I annoy myself that I get sucked in by him and his sweet talking!! Scary how easy it is to get involved emotionally, isn't it?
veryhappy Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I'm sorry, I wonder what I was thinking when I wrote you. If all that happened is a kiss and you don't have a lot of face to face time together,there's really not much there. Don't get more involved until he's divorced, by any means don't let him pull you in his drama. If there's been no sex, it's much easier for you to walk away. No cloudy hormones holding you back...
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