Huzza Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 I made a post on here earlier that I wouldn't be able to find someone that could even come close to matching my ex, and i made the decision to just be content with myself and hold off on my relationships. The thing is, I work at a place were models are constantly coming in and sometimes out of sarcasm or whatever the cause I'll flirt with them. And in the brief interaction with them I can tell they wouldn't even be worth the time to pursue. I'm scared my theory is actually gathering evidence and no matter how much i dispel it with the fact that she inst perfect and there's over 3 bil women out there, somehow my theory has coaxed my mind into slowly believing it. I cant live like that. Not even my ex would want me thinking that. I'm feeling pretty pathetic right now and i was just curious as to tip or experiences or anything that could help.
HaveFaithxx Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 It takes time. You know it's your thoughts that create your reality. It's all in your head. Of course there are other girls that are just as wonderful or even more so. It just takes time.... 2
GLDheart Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I think back to my favorite car I ever owned... I remember so many wonderful things about it.... but you know? I forget abuot the little issues, the quart of oil that it would burn through at random intervals, the leather cracking on it's bolster, etc... That Nostalgia sometimes colors things a bit too rosy. Make sure you don't keep her up there on that pedestal. I'm sure at the time she was wonderful, but in your life right now, would you guys even be a good match? Here's an exercise that may help you out: Whenever she crosses your mind, think of (maybe even write down) a negative. She clogged all the drains with gross hair. She smelled of cigarette smoke. She drank too much. She... She... She wasn't all that perfect. Good luck. I'm struggling with it too.
Sugarkane Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I wrote down everything negative about the ex. The list got longer and longer. At the time my therapist said I was painting my ex black, but so do our dumpers. Anyway my ex deserved it. Imagine your ex looking awful on a bad day eg ill or something.
BrettLost Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 There's that quote, something like "for so long we look back at the door that has closed, we become oblivious to the ones that are open, waiting to be walked through" Another... "someday, someone will walk into your life and make u realise why it never worked with anyone else" From my experience, like the previous poster pointed out, until u cross paths with a new girl, ur ex will be on the pedastal. But when it happens, n it will, ur ex will be remembered for who she really was/is, not the great times you shared together. Trust me, when u really click with someone new, u realise it was never you. Not only that, but the possibility to enjoy something far greater than what u had with your ex is VERY real. 2
sadpanda87 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 There's that quote, something like "for so long we look back at the door that has closed, we become oblivious to the ones that are open, waiting to be walked through" Another... "someday, someone will walk into your life and make u realise why it never worked with anyone else" From my experience, like the previous poster pointed out, until u cross paths with a new girl, ur ex will be on the pedastal. But when it happens, n it will, ur ex will be remembered for who she really was/is, not the great times you shared together. Trust me, when u really click with someone new, u realise it was never you. Not only that, but the possibility to enjoy something far greater than what u had with your ex is VERY real. nicely said. im also hopeful and waiting on that day.
Author Huzza Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 That's the thing, she had flaws like bad at communicating and being to blunt, but we never had a bad time, almost no arguments, we were the closest friends. I cant think of a nalegative aspect or time. Even when she was ill and I took care of her it wasn't like she even look bad. Haha so I might have her on a pedastal but I do acknowledge she had flaws but there so minor. I dunno mang, I feel hopeless. Any other tips besides thinking ill of her because I wouldn't even want to do that if I could. Im not that one angry ex, just broken hearted with no light at the end of the tunnel.
Author Huzza Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 There's that quote, something like "for so long we look back at the door that has closed, we become oblivious to the ones that are open, waiting to be walked through" Another... "someday, someone will walk into your life and make u realise why it never worked with anyone else" From my experience, like the previous poster pointed out, until u cross paths with a new girl, ur ex will be on the pedastal. But when it happens, n it will, ur ex will be remembered for who she really was/is, not the great times you shared together. Trust me, when u really click with someone new, u realise it was never you. Not only that, but the possibility to enjoy something far greater than what u had with your ex is VERY real. That was just wow, amazing I mean it did little impact but I mean it made an impact. It was my fault I didnt even follow my own philosophy towards a relationship, I was too sarcastic and made her feel my happiness was worth more than her, and I tried telling her dont worry about me but she felt she had to make my life amazing. I showed things through more actions than words but she felt my sarcasm was disrespecting her. hopefully you get this and can provide some insight if not, thanks for that message.
BrettLost Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Huzza, Ul' do yourself no favours picking apart what u did, where U THINK u went wrong etc. Everybody is worthy of love, just u never know the way ul click with someone til u do. Dont change who u are, the way u love and the ways u show it, someone will fit right into your style and not only accept u, but cherish and appreciate everything u got to give. Dont ever begin to believe this is impossible, she will pop up out of nowhere and blow u away. If only for confidence, tell yourself it's her loss. She will miss all u gave her. My exw was seemingly on cloud 9, til i found my 'new girl' (shes gone now, was amazing nonetheless), when they see your love upon someone else and u happy as ****, THIS is when they feel the impact of their decision. Her loss mate. Btw, u work around models.....if thats not something to be jealous of, then my testosterone is gone.
Author Huzza Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 shes the kind of girl when she sees you move on, shell be happy for you but regardless she's in New York, im in Cali. Haha yeah im so bad at flirting, and meeting her was a stroke of luck. But ill look on the bright side, for once. Seriously thanks for your posts man.
Author Huzza Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 Huzza, Ul' do yourself no favours picking apart what u did, where U THINK u went wrong etc. Everybody is worthy of love, just u never know the way ul click with someone til u do. Dont change who u are, the way u love and the ways u show it, someone will fit right into your style and not only accept u, but cherish and appreciate everything u got to give. Dont ever begin to believe this is impossible, she will pop up out of nowhere and blow u away. If only for confidence, tell yourself it's her loss. She will miss all u gave her. My exw was seemingly on cloud 9, til i found my 'new girl' (shes gone now, was amazing nonetheless), when they see your love upon someone else and u happy as ****, THIS is when they feel the impact of their decision. Her loss mate. Btw, u work around models.....if thats not something to be jealous of, then my testosterone is gone. I mean is it really her loss, I mean look whose on the forum
Author Huzza Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 Huzza, Ul' do yourself no favours picking apart what u did, where U THINK u went wrong etc. Everybody is worthy of love, just u never know the way ul click with someone til u do. Dont change who u are, the way u love and the ways u show it, someone will fit right into your style and not only accept u, but cherish and appreciate everything u got to give. Dont ever begin to believe this is impossible, she will pop up out of nowhere and blow u away. If only for confidence, tell yourself it's her loss. She will miss all u gave her. My exw was seemingly on cloud 9, til i found my 'new girl' (shes gone now, was amazing nonetheless), when they see your love upon someone else and u happy as ****, THIS is when they feel the impact of their decision. Her loss mate. Btw, u work around models.....if thats not something to be jealous of, then my testosterone is gone. I mean is it really her loss, i mean look whose on the forum
BrettLost Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 No worries bro. Gotta do what u gotta do ey. Girls can talk bout this all day with their gfs, as a guy its harder. Places like this allow u to get it out. This site, and the insightful people amongst it, were invaluable to my recovery process. All the best man.
Author Huzza Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 No worries bro. Gotta do what u gotta do ey. Girls can talk bout this all day with their gfs, as a guy its harder. Places like this allow u to get it out. This site, and the insightful people amongst it, were invaluable to my recovery process. All the best man. Any other tips as to seeing you went through this?
BrettLost Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Um, ul still have down days, but try not to lose ur sense of self-worth. That door closed quote really helped me. U cant predict what or who will change ur life. Could be the best thing to happen to u. My divorce ended up paving me an amazing year, even though its sting is still there, i now have faith that the best is yet to come. Stay connected on here when u need it. The people here have been through and seen everything, most are willing to help even if by being brutally honest. Scan round the different forums and gain the knowledge u seek. But by all means, let it out. I grieved my loss for 2 years. Did nothing pro-active for myself at all during that period. Was extremely depressed, almost suicidal. What a waste. Comin here sped up the healing process tremendously. It's never selfish to look after yourself when u need to. Ur alive and life, with or without your special someone, is indeed worth living. So be yourself, n enjoy your life the way YOU see fit mate. Quote; "never allow anyone to be your priority, when you are simply their option"
Author Huzza Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 Um, ul still have down days, but try not to lose ur sense of self-worth. That door closed quote really helped me. U cant predict what or who will change ur life. Could be the best thing to happen to u. My divorce ended up paving me an amazing year, even though its sting is still there, i now have faith that the best is yet to come. Stay connected on here when u need it. The people here have been through and seen everything, most are willing to help even if by being brutally honest. Scan round the different forums and gain the knowledge u seek. But by all means, let it out. I grieved my loss for 2 years. Did nothing pro-active for myself at all during that period. Was extremely depressed, almost suicidal. What a waste. Comin here sped up the healing process tremendously. It's never selfish to look after yourself when u need to. Ur alive and life, with or without your special someone, is indeed worth living. So be yourself, n enjoy your life the way YOU see fit mate. Quote; "never allow anyone to be your priority, when you are simply their option" You have been most helpful, I mean is there anyway to contact you when the days get worse. To be honest my close friends weren't able to articulate quite as well as you did what I needed to hear.
BrettLost Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Thanks mate, that means alot. Um, there is a private message service through here. But plenty people here know their **** ey. If u get stuck, make another thread more specific to the new problem u face, the advice will come. You'l be sweet as man. "wisdom is the daughter of experience".
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