Having really pretty friends ruins dating??

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Damn other women, you scary!

 

When I'm out with my friends I don't feel like it's competition. We're all different enough that we probably attract different guys anyway. And if we don't, we ARE attracted to different types of guys. For example, I'm attracted to light skinned guys with short, dark, straight hair. My best friend likes guys with more of an olive skin color, with curly and longish hair. In other words, you'd never see us pulling each other's hair in the middle of a crowded club over a man

 

For me, not gonna lie, it isn't fully about the type of guy it is just the male attention. I made a topic a while ago about my friend hooking up with a kid from class who I called ugly. He wasn't ugly but definitely not my type, like if he was attracted to me I doubt I would have given him the time of day (I'm trying to put this gently) I just wasn't into him but to have a guy like her when I have no one really irked me like it just really bothered me even now she is talking to a new kid from hs who treated her like poop a few months ago and it is just annoying for me because I have no one. I want to have a cutie take me to the movies and invite me to his house and make out with and stuff. Also she is white so of course white guys would like her, I have to put a million times more effort into white guys liking me. I can pull black men all day but pulling white is just not easy

[snowflakes88]

I have never lied about it, I have considered it and it wouldn't be a full lie since my dad is like partially Native American which makes me mixed with something just not black and white. I wouldn't specifically say I'm mixed black and white because that would be a lie. Black women do it all the time, my best friend is like 10 shades darker than me and tells people she is Irish Indian and Asian... And even though it isn't believable at all some guys feed into it

 

I don't know any black women who do it, and I would absolutely say your friend has serious issues as well, unless she's just doing it as a joke.

 

I mean, really. You are brownskinned, with a full nose and full lips. You can look at the roots of your hair and tell that it grows in kinky, not straight. And you know what? You are a beautiful girl. I don't understand why you think looking "like a black girl" is not as attractive as XYZ or that you would be more fortunate if you were mixed, etc. You are black, you look black, and you are beautiful. You should own that, not lie about it or try to diminish it. I'm not trying to attack you... I just wish you could know how great it feels to love yourself for who you are and how God made you.

 

And for the record, in nearly all of the WM/BW couples I know personally - the black woman is darker-complexioned, often with natural (i.e., unchemically processed) hair. I'm not sure why that is, but it's what I see predominantly in my area and I find it interesting.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I don't know any black women who do it, and I would absolutely say your friend has serious issues as well, unless she's just doing it as a joke.

 

I mean, really. You are brownskinned, with a full nose and full lips. You can look at the roots of your hair and tell that it grows in kinky, not straight. And you know what? You are a beautiful girl. I don't understand why you think looking "like a black girl" is not as attractive as XYZ or that you would be more fortunate if you were mixed, etc. You are black, you look black, and you are beautiful. You should own that, not lie about it or try to diminish it. I'm not trying to attack you... I just wish you could know how great it feels to love yourself for who you are and how God made you.

 

And for the record, in nearly all of the WM/BW couples I know personally - the black woman is darker-complexioned, often with natural (i.e., unchemically processed) hair. I'm not sure why that is, but it's what I see predominantly in my area and I find it interesting.

The guys that I met just don't like that, they just don't, I've had guys say stuff about my hair "oh usually I see girls with nappier hair" "oh you have good hair" which I guess is a compliment, I mean I work hard to have straight hair. Guys I know just don't like it. Maybe one day ill move to a non small town and meet a white guy who is into the Regular black girl but the ones I know now just aren't into it. And I have a thing for country boys so that's already harder because country boys have country values and try to stick to their own and wear rebel flags and stuff I can't be all like... Black if I want a guy like that.

 

I've always been really color struck though, it started when I was in high school. I don't know why.

Edited January 15, 2013 by ImperfectionisBeauty

[Leigh 87]

She never said she was bl00dy racist...

 

There is nothing wrong with wanting mixed race children.

 

Racism is very serious and disgusting - it is when you dislike people or feel hostile towards people BECAUSE of their race.

 

I am not all that attracted to Asian or Black men, on average, I am naturally more into other white guys.....

 

I would not rule out meeting and feeling in love with a person of another race, but I am just saying they are not what I am NORMALLY sexually into.

[snowflakes88]

I can't be all like... Black if I want a guy like that.

 

But you are black. I don't know, maybe your issue isn't for me to understand. I don't get how you were so up in arms in the other thread where people were tearing black men down, defending your brother as a good black man... yet it seems you'd give anything not to be black yourself. I hope you get to a point where you love you for YOU, eventually.

 

Men of ALL races are more likely to be attracted to a woman who is confident in who she is and comfortable in her own skin, than to a woman who is insecure and wishes she were someone else. That is universal, and you can't fake it.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

But you are black. I don't know, maybe your issue isn't for me to understand. I don't get how you were so up in arms in the other thread where people were tearing black men down, defending your brother as a good black man... yet it seems you'd give anything not to be black yourself. I hope you get to a point where you love you for YOU, eventually.

 

Men of ALL races are more likely to be attracted to a woman who is confident in who she is and comfortable in her own skin, than to a woman who is insecure and wishes she were someone else. That is universal, and you can't fake it.

 

I just don't like people tearing down black people. I am black and I do take pride in it, being black just makes it difficult to date white

[TaurusTerp]

She never said she was bl00dy racist...

 

There is nothing wrong with wanting mixed race children.

 

Racism is very serious and disgusting - it is when you dislike people or feel hostile towards people BECAUSE of their race.

 

I am not all that attracted to Asian or Black men, on average, I am naturally more into other white guys.....

 

I would not rule out meeting and feeling in love with a person of another race, but I am just saying they are not what I am NORMALLY sexually into.

 

There are precious few people in the world that will admit they're racist, most probably don't even think they are. Everyone else can see it just fine. If other people tell you you're racist, you probably are. Regardless of whatever you personally think.

 

Racism is not active disgust - benign racism is racism all the same. OP clearly thinks black men are inferior to white men (unless you want to dispute this) - what else would you call that, but racism?

[TaurusTerp]

I just don't like people tearing down black people. I am black and I do take pride in it, being black just makes it difficult to date white

 

You take pride in being black, except that you try as hard as possible to act white. Do you not see a contradiction here?

[Leigh 87]

I just don't like people tearing down black people. I am black and I do take pride in it, being black just makes it difficult to date white

 

 

It happens, OP.

 

Your an educated, nice and attractive women - seriously, you will have white men who will date you.

 

It is less common, perhaps people are naturally geared towards their own race. But it does happen.

 

If dating a white man is something you would prefer, I do not see you having great trouble finding a white partner.

 

For what it is worth - I find mixed race women the most stunning actually! I just like that they look unusual...

 

Don't let anyone have a go at you for having your preferences.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

You take pride in being black, except that you try as hard as possible to act white. Do you not see a contradiction here?

 

I try to attract white guys. The thing is in that post the op was pretty much saying that black men shouldn't date white women and hinting that they are all thugs, I have an amazing little brother who isn't even close to a thug. I wanted to mention that. If I met a black guy who was not all hood and like "what it do girl" then I would totally date them but all the guys who approach me are like hood and say the n word and stuff

[snowflakes88]

I try to attract white guys. The thing is in that post the op was pretty much saying that black men shouldn't date white women and hinting that they are all thugs, I have an amazing little brother who isn't even close to a thug. I wanted to mention that. If I met a black guy who was not all hood and like "what it do girl" then I would totally date them but all the guys who approach me are like hood and say the n word and stuff

 

And there are plenty of black guys who aren't like that. Your brother isn't the only one, nor is he just one of a few. What I was trying to point out is that you hold the same kinds of beliefs about black people that the non-black people in the other thread do... it just hit close to home for you to hear it from other people because you love your brother and know that he isn't a walking stereotype. The fact that you consider speaking intelligently and behaving respectably to be "white" traits (i.e., uncommon to black people) makes it seem as though you aren't much different than those people in the other thread. Does that make sense?

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

And there are plenty of black guys who aren't like that. Your brother isn't the only one, nor is he just one of a few. What I was trying to point out is that you hold the same kinds of beliefs about black people that the non-black people in the other thread do... it just hit close to home for you to hear it from other people because you love your brother and know that he isn't a walking stereotype. The fact that you consider speaking intelligently and behaving respectably to be "white" traits (i.e., uncommon to black people) makes it seem as though you aren't much different than those people in the other thread. Does that make sense?

 

That makes sense, and that's terrible I didn't really think of it. I don't want to stereotype all black people.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

This is a typical dysfunctional girl of my generation. Self-absorbed' date=' narcisstic, and arrogant. And girls wonder why guys don't want to commit. No guy wants to deal with a train wreck waiting to happen.[/quote']

 

You're single too dude so chill down!

[SOLACEMENT]

This is a typical dysfunctional girl of my generation. Self-absorbed' date=' narcisstic, and arrogant. And girls wonder why guys don't want to commit. No guy wants to deal with a train wreck waiting to happen.[/quote']

 

Waiting ... Haha

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Oh yeah? Then why are you running your mouth about there being "desperate guys" in San Diego to a place you've never been? California as a state has some of the best looking girls (people) in the United States on average. The guys there are anything but desperate and the "hot white guys" that you so desperately desire wouldn't settle with you. So you have no right to diss a state you've never ever been in or their residents

 

The thing I don't understand is how you constantly run your mouth about how you don't understand how guys don't want you. Your inherent ugliness manifests itself in ways you wouldn't imagine. Throughout this thread you have demonstrated narcissism, jealousy, envy, selfishness, solipsism, vanity, pride, denial of heritage, and an incredible need for male attention. You say "hot guys message you all the time" yet STILL you desire more. You're like the fat kid who just couldn't say "no" to more food. You said that it made you mad when an "ugly" kid was into your friend. Why? Why?????????? You only want to use him as an ego building tool. I don't understand this nonsense! Are you reading what you type? Are you seriously reading this ****?

 

It's as if you want white guys so that you can prove that you're "better than a black girl". It's as if "pulling white" would make you seem better than the pond scum that you seem to make black people seem like. There's nothing wrong with having mixed children, but your fixation on it is to make yourself seem as less black and a distancing of yourself away from black culture. The thing I still can't understand is how you cannot comprehend that because of your race you will be a second place choice to your friend even though she may not be "prettier" than you. People will almost always jump ship to their race before they look outside for options, unless they have a racial preference for another race. Trying to compete against a white girl for white guys is a losing battle already. My friends and I almost never go for black girls and I don't know any white guy who exclusively does. If a black girl and a white girl of equal attractiveness were sitting side by side to pick, I would choose the Mediterranean-looking white girl every single time and so would my friends.

 

If these guys are "crazy hot" then go on a DATE for goodness sakes? What more do you want? Do you want Ryan Gosling? Do you want blue-eyed blondie that shucks corn in the field for a living?

 

The fact that I even needed to type this is ridiculous. THIS is the reason why guys don't commit in this generation, because they don't want to put up with **** like this rearing its ugly head. You are the personification of everything that I talk about. Hypergamy, narcissism, entitlement. THIS is what I mean when I talk about this generation. No guy is ever "hot enough" and you never get enough male attention. THIS is IT, right HERE.

 

Girls like you piss me off, so no I will not "chill down".

Dude... Like I said the first time.. You're single! Aren't you a virgin too? Chill down! I come here to vent my problems so a lot of what I say just needs to be off of my chest. You asked me why I try to "act white" or someone did and you don't realize it is because of that statement that I will ALWAYS come second best to white girls, I don't think lowly of black people as a whole but most of the black people I know are really ghetto... I grew up in a white suburb I'm more used to white people.. Don't get me wrong there are ghetto white people too, I just am more used to white people. I got a lot of flack from black people when I was younger for being "too white" because of how I talked and my clothes and stuff so yeah.. Anyways it's whatever, my ex was white and he turned down white girls for me, I think he turned them down :/ my point is I have known guys who prefer black girls, there has to be 1 JUST 1 attractive white man in this world who would prefer me to my friend... I mean honestly come on! Also I don't want mixed babies because I was to differentiate from black people, I just think mixed people are pretty and I want my future daughter to have a chance to date whomever she wants and not have to be anyone's second best.

 

The California comment was specifically directed at someone, don't read that much into it.

[Leigh 87]

I want to add something regarding pretty friends and dating....

 

 

My two best girlfriends are better looking than me, and it only helps me get guys to notice me..

 

 

You see - the guys see all of us, and our combine looks get the final outcome.

 

Better looking men who would normally come up to me, come up to us because they are so good looking.

 

And once the men talk to me, some of them prefer me, and since I am not ugly and normally have a good body, they tend to fancy me over my better looking friends at times.

 

 

....Not that I go for them, as I have a boyfriend and cannot even think of other men in that way.

 

I am only a 7 of ten if that. Yet my prettier mates help me get mroe attractive men around me, who then realise they are into me. Based on my personality.

[Leigh 87]

Hey, don't slam the OP like that, she sounds like a good person who simply likes the idea of mixed race kids. There are more outlandish and unreasonable things to want. SHeesh.

 

Give her a break please. She has no ill intent. She is ismply stating her preferences.

 

Yes most white guys go for white women, but there are enough exceptions out there for her to hold out hope.

 

I will add: because more white men tend to prefer white women over black, the OP is better of going for average looking white men, with great personalities and possible fit bodies.

 

It is just a numbers game, OP; i more white men prefer white women, then your seriously slimming your chances if you not only go ofr white men to settle down with, but if you go for the HOT white men.

 

You could very well find a white guy! A lovely white guy, but it probably won't be as easy for you to find a HOT white guy, it is just instinct (that white men naturally select their fellow whites!)

....Why don't you talk to more average looking white guys, and see if you can develop casual relations with them, so you can get a feel for it all...

 

I prefer average looking men; they tend to feel luckier to have you where as the hottest men are not as greatfull at least at first, because they are used to banging hot chicks.

 

 

 

...Look, it sounds like you just want to find men who really like your look and prefer it to your friend. And who are white. That is a real possibility.

 

Now instead of arguing with people who don't even know you on here (which I have done !) why don't you go about taking the steps you need to take in order to go get a white guy!

 

Think of reasonable, decent, white men, who are not the hottest but who are decent guys; how do you think you could put yourself in situations to meet them?

 

Online dating should be considered, it puts you out there more for starters, and the second thing you should do is to ask friends who you can trust, that you would simply like to explore relationships with more white guys for a change, and if they could be on the look out for any candidates.

 

Surely some people who you are friends with and you can trust will be able to simply get some white guy friends of theirs to just hang out with you all, just for you to see if you become friends with them,a nd then see where it goes......

[Leigh 87]

Despite what others may or may not think which of the two of you (or other women friends) are the more/less attractive, this is dripping with the green monster of jealousy. Don't be one of those women who become jealous and angry at their female friends just for "being there".

 

My sister was actually disinvited to a party a few years ago. She is a surgeon at a Midwest hospital, her first year there she went to the office Christmas party (because they were all talking about it in the weeks to come) and some of the nurses actually came up to her and said "We're not telling you to leave, but you're not invited to this party." They explained that they are all chasing after the other male doctors on staff and if she were there it might take away from their chances. She was so angry that she left the party in a huff, pulled a few strings, and got the nurses fired over that. (So don't piss off people in high places.) I also had another woman friend who said she wouldn't friend me on Facebook because it would take away from her chances of meeting men. I realized this gal was insane at that moment and didn't want anything to do with her anymore. She was more or less dumping her women friends for a man, a cardinal sin if there ever was one.

 

 

 

 

Those women are pathetic, and do not worthy enough of great men; they are not confident enough that they will find a guy who adores them.

 

No, they just want a doctor, a hot doctor preferably.. Because, you know, a wondeful decent teacher or man of another profession is not good enough.

 

Worse still, they do not believe that being themselves is enough to get a great man; therefore, they put so much emphasis on looks!!!!!!!

 

This is all very sad.

 

A man who really is into you would pick you out of a room of super modes once he got talking to you.

 

And ya know, men do have to talk to you in order to determine of they are into you......

[mesmerized]

Oh yeah? Then why are you running your mouth about there being "desperate guys" in San Diego to a place you've never been? California as a state has some of the best looking girls (people) in the United States on average. The guys there are anything but desperate and the "hot white guys" that you so desperately desire wouldn't settle with you. So you have no right to diss a state you've never ever been in or their residents

 

The thing I don't understand is how you constantly run your mouth about how you don't understand how guys don't want you. Your inherent ugliness manifests itself in ways you wouldn't imagine. Throughout this thread you have demonstrated narcissism, jealousy, envy, selfishness, solipsism, vanity, pride, denial of heritage, and an incredible need for male attention. You say "hot guys message you all the time" yet STILL you desire more. You're like the fat kid who just couldn't say "no" to more food. You said that it made you mad when an "ugly" kid was into your friend. Why? Why?????????? You only want to use him as an ego building tool. I don't understand this nonsense! Are you reading what you type? Are you seriously reading this ****?

 

It's as if you want white guys so that you can prove that you're "better than a black girl". It's as if "pulling white" would make you seem better than the pond scum that you seem to make black people seem like. There's nothing wrong with having mixed children, but your fixation on it is to make yourself seem as less black and a distancing of yourself away from black culture. The thing I still can't understand is how you cannot comprehend that because of your race you will be a second place choice to your friend even though she may not be "prettier" than you. People will almost always jump ship to their race before they look outside for options, unless they have a racial preference for another race. Trying to compete against a white girl for white guys is a losing battle already. My friends and I almost never go for black girls and I don't know any white guy who exclusively does. If a black girl and a white girl of equal attractiveness were sitting side by side to pick, I would choose the Mediterranean-looking white girl every single time and so would my friends.

 

If these guys are "crazy hot" then go on a DATE for goodness sakes? What more do you want? Do you want Ryan Gosling? Do you want blue-eyed blondie that shucks corn in the field for a living?

 

The fact that I even needed to type this is ridiculous. THIS is the reason why guys don't commit in this generation, because they don't want to put up with **** like this rearing its ugly head. You are the personification of everything that I talk about. Hypergamy, narcissism, entitlement. THIS is what I mean when I talk about this generation. No guy is ever "hot enough" and you never get enough male attention. THIS is IT, right HERE.

 

Girls like you piss me off, so no I will not "chill down".

 

Dude, all you told us by this post is that you are incredibly insecure about yourself. Good job!

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

If that was all you attained from my post, then it is obvious you lack reading comprehension.

 

 

 

Not quite and no.

 

 

 

Alright, if that's what you want to think and do then you're entitled to it. I'm pretty sure there's white men who prefer black women, just know that actively competing against girls who are the same ethnicity of the men you want to attract is an uphill battle. Just know that your latter statement is a contribution towards the problem, not the solution.

Having a mixed baby means that they can date whomever they want without struggle... So what do you suggest? I just date someone I'm not attracted to solely for a relationship wtf? And it's funny you say you aren't single or a virgin because all you do is complain about women.. In the least I complain but put forth an effort to find a guy and I'm not gonna give up

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I don't complain about women, I discuss the pedestal that women have been unnecessarily put on for no reason whatsoever. I'm also not single but I'm also not in a relationship. I'll leave it at that because this thread isn't about *me*.

 

Mixed people still don't have free agency to date whomever. A lot of mixed people still look like light-skinned black people. Few mixed people ever err on to the side of being mistaken for white. I know several mixed people that look like they could pass for Hispanic, but many of them tend to inherit a lot of black features. I'm not suggesting that you date someone you aren't attracted to, I'm suggesting that you drop the incessant need to be with someone white with zero exceptions. You obsessing over the need to get the hottest white guy is not getting you anywhere.

 

Just let it go.

 

If you aren't in a relationship and you aren't single then yes you are single, you are no ones boyfriend so shush it up. I don't need the hottest guy but I want to be attracted to the person I'm with, not just date whoever because its all I can get.. I have some standards you know lol! This is how I envision my life:

 

Meet an attractive (preferably white) man who is country and wears real tree and drives a pick up, he falls crazy in love with me, marries me after a year of dating and a year long engagement, then shortly after our wedding (9months) I give birth to Paysleigh/Paisleigh (girl) or Rhys (boy) and I am happy and love life!