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Having really pretty friends ruins dating??

ImperfectionisBeauty

By ImperfectionisBeauty
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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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So I just realized as much as I lovelovelove my friend the fact that she is stunningly beautiful makes me feel weird. Is it weird I just feel so awkward and ugly compared to her, and we do everything together so everyone we come in contact with will see us together and see how pretty she is. She doesn't even have to try to be pretty she just is! I'm jealous I admit. Basically this started when I was talking to a guy a while back and I had added him on FB and he saw her and basically told me I should hook him up with her... Then yesterday I was texting this guy and we were talking about how we were going to the bar to celebrate our birthday and how I was at a Christmas party the other night and I showed him this cute picture http://tinypic.com/r/jrz66s/6 I took with her (because I actually felt pretty in the picture) and he said to me "oh you guys are cute" then he was like "so tell me about your friend.. jk jk" but I know he obviously thought it which doesn't bother me because I don't care about him much it is just that he isn't the first guy to do that. We are celebrating our birthday together and I just bought a cute outfit and I'm excited but I'm afraid I will feel insecure and like weird and I honestly want my birthday to be the best day ever! I'm so excited to celebrate with her because I love her to death but I just feel like all the guys at the bars will love her and I want to make them love me too :D They can love us both! lol What should I do?

Edited by ImperfectionisBeauty
SteveC80 Established Member

SteveC80

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Shes far from "Stunningly beautiful"

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plainjane79 Established Member

plainjane79

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So I just realized as much as I lovelovelove my friend the fact that she is stunningly beautiful makes me feel weird. Is it weird I just feel so awkward and ugly compared to her, and we do everything together so everyone we come in contact with will see us together and see how pretty she is. She doesn't even have to try to be pretty she just is! I'm jealous I admit. Basically this started when I was talking to a guy a while back and I had added him on FB and he saw her and basically told me I should hook him up with her... Then yesterday I was texting this guy and we were talking about how we were going to the bar to celebrate our birthday and how I was at a Christmas party the other night and I showed him this cute picture Image - TinyPic - Free Image Hosting, Photo Sharing & Video Hosting I took with her (because I actually felt pretty in the picture) and he said to me "oh you guys are cute" then he was like "so tell me about your friend.. jk jk" but I know he obviously thought it which doesn't bother me because I don't care about him much it is just that he isn't the first guy to do that. We are celebrating our birthday together and I just bought a cute outfit and I'm excited but I'm afraid I will feel insecure and like weird and I honestly want my birthday to be the best day ever! I'm so excited to celebrate with her because I love her to death but I just feel like all the guys at the bars will love her and I want to make them love me too :D They can love us both! lol What should I do?

 

You are both very pretty in different ways, I think! Not all guys like the same type of girl. My two best friends are petite brunettes. I'm a small blonde who is slightly taller and a bit curvier. The guys who are attracted to my friends are not attracted to me. The guys who are attracted to me are not attracted to them.

 

There is no need to focus on your friend and the men who may find her attractive. Focus on you and making yourself as pretty as you can be and you will be a lot happier. :)

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mesmerized Established Member

mesmerized

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You're definitely prettier than her and I'm not saying it to be nice. Was the guy Indian? lol

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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She's is very pretty, its probably her confidence too, she is really good at talking to people and being outgoing. My goal is to talk to a bunch of people on our birthday. I can do that.. I don't have a lot of friends coming out like she does but its ok right? I can still be fun and outgoing and meet people.

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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You're definitely prettier than her and I'm not saying it to be nice. Was the guy Indian? lol

 

All of the guys are white, then I think maybe its just white guys don't like me but I think if I'm nice and funny and outgoing and I can pull any guys I just have to be confident I think.

pteromom Established Member

pteromom

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You guys are both pretty, but completely different types and will attract completely different guys. No worries.

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ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

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You're definitely prettier than her and I'm not saying it to be nice. Was the guy Indian? lol

Agreed, you're probably hotter than she is in my opinion. It's subjective however, and you are both very attractive ;).

 

More on-topic - I find that it's better for me on a spiritual and mental level when I encourage my friends whom are more attractive to the opposite sex than I am, it makes me happy. In that regard, it's easier for me to be happy about myself and the way that I look - and thus, I have attracted more people. You have to look at it in that way IB. Know that you are a good looking person in your own right, and that if you are happy and you encourage your friends to be happy, it will click into place for you :).

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Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

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I agree - I think you're much prettier.

 

Why do you feel the need to be in constant competition with your friends though?

edgygirl Established Member

edgygirl

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Are you the one on the left? Come on, you're super pretty!

 

I ask because that's the impression I got from other posts as I can't even tell who you think is prettier than the other, lol.

Edited by edgygirl
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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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I really appreciate all the compliments, I guess I just don't feel pretty... I am working on the self esteem though. I was good until that guy yesterday lol. I am working though. I just am hoping to avoid getting into the slump on our birthday that's what I'm worried about. I think I will be ok? Maybe lol

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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Are you the one on the left? Come on, you're super pretty!

 

I ask because that's the impression I got from other posts as I can't even tell who you think is prettier than the other, lol.

 

I'm the one on the left yes :)

edgygirl Established Member

edgygirl

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Again, super pretty! Don't be silly. You have a symmetrical face and deep strong eyes. I have the same kind of colors as your friend (skin, hair, eyes) and I think in a way it's a bit boring, lol. To answer your main question, I think it's great to have good looking g/fs to go out with, men go wild when they see a bunch of cool happy girls together and it increases everyone's attractiveness exponentially.

 

I'm the one on the left yes :)
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SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

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What should I do?

Stop being so insecure.

darkmoon Established Member

darkmoon

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if you want to get a boyf, dump her, you're th victim, i feel sorry for u xx

edgygirl Established Member

edgygirl

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I understand why she might be, though.

 

I think IB is early 20s or so? Plenty of girls that age are insecure about their looks. I probably was too, although I had all guys hitting on me. I think we feel bad about ourselves because the media sells some nearly impossible version of beauty that makes us feel like c**p. Only when we get older and look back at our pics we realize how beautiful we really were. What a shame we can't enjoy it while there.

 

Stop being so insecure.
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KraftDinner Established Member

KraftDinner

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I mean no disrespect, but just looks-wise, she ain't all that. Not to sound competitive, but I have friends who are much hotter. I have one who has done some modelling and looked hotter than any Vic Secret model. I'm decently cute, get hit on a lot, but when she's around I'm completely invisible.

 

You're prettier than she is.

AD1980 Established Member

AD1980

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Youre as pretty as her..

 

But having a very good looking friend when youre not does kind of suck..

 

I have very few single women in my social circle but the ones who are liked me as a person but showed no interest in anything more..

 

As soon as my good looking friend got divorced and became single these women came out of the woodworks and all hung on him like flies on **** and wanted a relationship with him but accepted being used for sex by him

 

Made me feel even more unattractive that these women ignored me all these years and the second he became single they went crazy

Brit Established Member

Brit

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Not sure what lift you need, you both look like the, 'girl next door,' cute...many guys like that. Have a bubbly and freindly personality, and you should do just fine.

musemaj11 Established Member

musemaj11

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Both girls are okay. Neither one is prettier than the other.

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SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

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I understand why she might be, though.

 

I think IB is early 20s or so? Plenty of girls that age are insecure about their looks. I probably was too, although I had all guys hitting on me. I think we feel bad about ourselves because the media sells some nearly impossible version of beauty that makes us feel like c**p. Only when we get older and look back at our pics we realize how beautiful we really were. What a shame we can't enjoy it while there.

Eh, me and Imp are the same age. I am older by 3 months - however my mother tends to tell me I am about 40yrs in real age. If age is even an indicator of maturity. Anyway I guess I have to take that into consideration.

 

I don't see how dwelling on this will help. She should feel secure enough in the fact that her friends are attractive. Life isn't a competition. Why is she is trying to compete with her friend is beyond me.

 

I have groups of friends where I wasn't only the ugly one but the fat one, before I lost over 100 pounds. However I never choose my friends based on their apperance. I don't know - it is weird to me. I don't see my friends or even other girls as competition - I am awesome in my own way. I don't find the need to compete for a guy or feel better that a guy picked me over another girl. I don't I guess I am just different.

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Vercetti Established Member

Vercetti

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Last thing you need to be worried about is how many guys at the bar like you. You are exotic, if you played that up with a bit of traditional dress...trust me...guys would want to get to know you for all the wrong and right reasons.

 

Anyhow bars? Not being judgmental ( I was in clubs underage ) only you look very young...stay safe.

KungFuJoe Established Member

KungFuJoe

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Op,

 

Which one are you, the black girl or the white girl?

 

Both are good looking. I can see why some guys might prefer one over the other but I definitely don't think either one outshines the other completely.

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edgygirl Established Member

edgygirl

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Agreed. Still some guys say things like her friend did and it's a little annoying and may hit someone's self esteem.

 

She should feel secure enough in the fact that her friends are attractive. Life isn't a competition. Why is she is trying to compete with her friend is beyond me.

 

However I never choose my friends based on their apperance. I don't know - it is weird to me. I don't see my friends or even other girls as competition - I am awesome in my own way. I don't find the need to compete for a guy or feel better that a guy picked me over another girl. I don't I guess I am just different.

SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

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Agreed. Still some guys say things like her friend did and it's a little annoying and may hit someone's self esteem.

Yes but that doesn't mean she should question her friend in that regard. She should have stopped contacting the guy at this point - you can't choose who he is interested in. If you get what I am saying

Edited by SmileFace
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