:( I'm heartbroken after cheating on my ex, but he doesn't want to know

[bubbys]

Hey... Just wondering if someone could give me some advice?.. I was with my ex for nearly 2 years, it was really wonderful, with its up and downs, but very magical. After a year and a half it started getting rocky, and he one day out of the blue he ended it saying he didn't see a furture and that if i walked out of the door he wouldn't care. It broke my world into two. After that i never called him or anything and he never called. I did see him out sometimes and i would often say hello he would talk for a bit but didn't seem he wanted to standing next to me. and i saw him with lots of girls. Things after that changed my life alot, i went out so that i could just get over him, wear things next to nothing. And meet guys that were only after one thing. I didn't like it, it was just a way for me to get over my ex. Then one night i saw my ex in a car park, he didn't even talk to me and it hurt so much, and i knew then that was it nothing would every happen again. So i called this guy i knew and went to his place and all i did was talk about my ex to him, he turned it around and as they say "sweet talk his way into bed with me" it was so harrible and eveything about it went wrong, all i kepted doing was thinking about my ex, so i stoped it and went home. Three months went pasted and i had encough feeling the way i did so i texted my ex asking if he wanted to go for a drink and he texted back saying yes course. So we meet up, at firsted we didn't know what to say to eachother and then he told me how he was feeling and how it didn't feel right with anyone, i couldn't belive it. We got back together but my mind started to play games with me i kepted thinking about does he really want to be with me i was soooo confused. And it didn't help cos my ex best friend was asking me to still go out and my ex was asking me to stay at home with him, and it didn't help cos they didn't like each other and i wanted to make them both happy cos i losted them both once. My ex friend would keep putting things into my head about my ex saying he always fallows you, and my ex didn't like it cos i had lots of guys texting me. I was sooooo confused. Then one night i saw an old guy friend i knew he asked how i was and asked if i was back with my ex and i said yes it was great and left it to that. Then one day i got a text and asked my best friend who it was she said it was the old guy friend he asked her for my number and she gave it to him. I didn't text he back. I then heard that he knew my ex so i asked my ex about this guy as i was going to tell him that he'd been texting me. My ex really hated him and i left it at that, cos my ex was getting so worked up that other guys liked me. Then one night i got asked to go to a party from a friend from college and i went i saw that old guy friend and we talked and i was telling him about my ex and the things he'd been saying and how he doesn't like guys texting me when only wanna be friends. And he listen to me and he "sweet talked me" so anyway i took him home because he was drunk. He asked if i wanted to go into his i kepted saying no and he kepted saying go on, and in the end i said ok. We talked for a long time and i told him how confuesed i was, i told him how much i wanted to be with my ex and everything. But he kelpted turing it around saying that "sounds like your not happy with your ex" and things like that. Then he made a move for me and we kissed and then his hands went everywhere. Then he "put it in me" for two min, i then said stop and he did and i went home, i cryed all night i couldn't belive what i did. The next day i called my ex best friend and said i slept with this guy. i was so upset and confuesed but i knew i had to tell my ex. So i went to my ex's he was being so sweet but knew there was something wrong. I told me, but didn't tell him the whole story about how i stopped it, and went home. He was of course really upset and anger. But he stayed with me. He was of course funny with me for couple of weeks. And started "picking on me" saying he didn't like what i was wearing, me going out, always checked my phone, i fully understood why he was being like that. I told my friend and she didn't like it one bit she kepted saying "he can't change you" and part of me belived that. and i told him that. I did start acting funny with him because how could he sleep with me and be anger all the time. I never talked to him because i always run away from things and hope they go away. Everything was sort of getting better, until one night my so called best friend went and told my ex's brother about me sleeping with this guy and my ex didn't want his family to know. My ex kepted saying that she did that because she wanted him out of the picture and i didn't belive that at the time, but it was true. me and my ex where then hit on the rocks again where we throught that we had to end it but we stayed together, but i couldn't go over to his house because his brothers hate me. Then things were starting to look up my ex was being himself and we seemed happy. The i got a call from him saying it was all over that he couldn't cope, he was being so harrible i beged him to stay, and asked him to meet up with me to talk, he then stoped and changed his mind. That night i went out and saw him and his mates out at firsted i didn't say hello because i knew all his friends knew. But than i did i gave him a kiss and he kissed me back i told him i loved him and he smiled. I then left him with him mates. At the end of the night i went to say bye and hug him but he was being anger and said "bye" i told him how gulit i was feeling" and said i will have to live with it" we couldn't really talk. So i went. I called him all night and he didn't pick up in the end he picked up and i asked him to meet up with me. So the next day i went to his and i cryed my heart out to him he didn't wanna know calling me all the names under the sun. I beged him to stay with me, telling him everthing, and he just didn't care. So i walked out of his life again. a Week went pasted and i called him asking him to meet up with me again because i couldn't get things off my mind, he said ok. Then 10 mins later he texted saying no i don't own you anything don't wanna be with you, let it stay died. So i didn't text him back to that. Then the next day he called me saying this to me again i said i know you already told me. Then he said he would talk to me over the phone. And we did i told him from start to finish. But he didn't wanna know. And i lefted it. Two weeks have gone by he's friends hate me and don't wanna talk to me ever and his brothers hate me and my ex really hates me. I know this is what i desever but we all make mistakes. and i know that i can't never never have my ex back but i really love him your prob thinking how can she if she did that but i honsily did and still do. I know people should never be taken back after that but he means the world to me i'm so heartbroken and hate pictureing him with someone better. I really truely never meat to hurt him. I was so confused. So what do i do should i walk away? does he even care or think about me? Really need so advice. Please

[honey2005]

I am really sorry. I can tell from your post that you really do love him and that you regret what happened. People do make mistakes, but it takes a lot over love and understanding to make it past them. Give him some time. He's probably really hurt and confused right now. Don't keep calling him and begging him to take you back, that will just drive him further away. Wait awhile and then try again. Maybe he just needs time for the wounds to heal.

 

Even if the two of you do get back together you will probably have a very strained relationship. His friends and family won't like you much for awhile and when he's around them he will be constantly hearing bad things about you. But if he really does love you that won't bother him. My advice is to just give him time to get over it, then try again. What you did was wrong, but people do really make mistakes. I can tell you're really sorry, and that's all you can do.

 

I hope things work out for you, I really do. Good luck:(

[supermom]

Turn the tables around. What would you do? He probably does still loves you, but figures that you are not going to change and/or will do it again, and doesn't want to put his heart out there again.

 

If I were you I would do exactly what he wants, let it go. Learn from your own mistakes and move on.

 

I know it hurts, but someday you will be okay again.

 

Good luck