Keenly Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Last night she came over after she literally said "can we just have a night where we forget about the breakup and just hang out and cuddle" Alright I said.... She comes over and not even 15 minutes went by before she started pressuring me and using methods I'd rather not discuss attempted to manipulate me and take the things I love away If i didn't get back with her. I told her "I think you should go, Good bye" and proceeded to get up and open the door. So the question is, I can deal with the no contact, the hard part for me is that now I have no contact with ANYONE lol. I get pretty damn lonely sometimes and all I want is some one to talk to, text occasionally you know. That is going to be the number one factor in determining if my NC is successful. My question is, How do I deal with not having literally anyone to talk to as it pertains to this situation? The reasons that NC was broken before is because of this issue, and it needs to be addressed and stopped.
Chi townD Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 LOL! That's why people come here! To vent, tell their stories. To get advice and encouragement from people that are or have been in the same boat as you. Talk, people will be here to listen and help.
datdude Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 That's why I finally decided to post what happened to me. It got to that point where any hope of hearing from her has become excessively draining, I had to vent. Sometimes reading just doesn't cut it.
bdizzle Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Same boat as you my friend. While I have friends who ask how we're doing or have you heard from her, I don't want to be "that" person who's always complaining or crying to others, so really, having joined LS has been a nice alternative. The texting and phone calls from her is what will be missed. The silence from her number are hard to deal with on top of the feelings already. Just taking it day by day. Day 2 down. Most we've gone is 4 days (only because I cracked). I'm half way there haha. Stay strong and find things to occupy your time. I've taken up black ops 2 online. Start playing and hours pass. Before I know it, its bed time and so begins another day.
Samilia Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Im not super social but lately I have made an effort to be a better friend to my friends. Also made an effort to be friendlier at work (and I work retail, you never know hell till you work retail). Anyway, try and do the same. If you really are reluctant to having more friends, find something to get you out of the house. Be busy. There is nothing that prevents us from getting busy but a pile of bad excuses.
Author Keenly Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 Same boat as you my friend. While I have friends who ask how we're doing or have you heard from her, I don't want to be "that" person who's always complaining or crying to others, so really, having joined LS has been a nice alternative. The texting and phone calls from her is what will be missed. The silence from her number are hard to deal with on top of the feelings already. Just taking it day by day. Day 2 down. Most we've gone is 4 days (only because I cracked). I'm half way there haha. Stay strong and find things to occupy your time. I've taken up black ops 2 online. Start playing and hours pass. Before I know it, its bed time and so begins another day. I can't just dive into video games, because...well... Quite frankly that's already a good 70% of my life haha. I did get invited to a party by a friend from work tonight , luckily he really is a good friend because I naturally was pretty resistant. He did manage to convince me, and one of the hottest girls at my work will be there... Might be time to get a little liquid courage and take a whack at it, I've got nothing to lose lol. Day to day is the hardest like you Said, and once I find some.one else to text this will be so much easier 1
Samilia Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I can't just dive into video games, because...well... Quite frankly that's already a good 70% of my life haha. I did get invited to a party by a friend from work tonight , luckily he really is a good friend because I naturally was pretty resistant. He did manage to convince me, and one of the hottest girls at my work will be there... Might be time to get a little liquid courage and take a whack at it, I've got nothing to lose lol. Day to day is the hardest like you Said, and once I find some.one else to text this will be so much easier yay, he's getting out of the cave!
Author Keenly Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 yay, he's getting out of the cave! You will never know how appropriate that comment really is.
MyAngel Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 The loneliness is hard. I haven't felt like talking to anyone. I've had to tell my friends that I'm down right now and don't feel like talking. If it helps you, keep coming on here for a chat. There's many of us hurting.
cavalier99 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Im not super social but lately I have made an effort to be a better friend to my friends. Also made an effort to be friendlier at work (and I work retail, you never know hell till you work retail). Anyway, try and do the same. If you really are reluctant to having more friends, find something to get you out of the house. Be busy. There is nothing that prevents us from getting busy but a pile of bad excuses. I now take my Golden Retriever with me daily to Starbucks. Great way to socialize and get out of the house. This was a super important routine in the 1st weeks post BU when i just wanted to curl up not move or leave the house and felt like a living zombie in "the walking dead"! Also I agree forcing your self to be social and smile even with simple transaction at a store can be very helpful to jump start your system and let you know that you are still alive inspite of having your heart ripped out and stomped on. Lol
bdizzle Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Howd the party go?? Went to a christmas party/exchange with friends last night as well. Hard to get out when they know how I'm feeling but its better than sitting at home pondering right? Same thing tonight. Have a friends birthday party so looking forward to that as well. Small things like these help ease the pain/transition. Be careful with the liquid confidence though. While I'm a big advocate of it too, I sometimes find that tough times like these, emotions and alcohol don't mix well and all sorts of things come out. Moderation I suppose. Each day is a new one, gets easier. Ups and downs, but staying strong is key. Anyway, looking forward to hearing how you're doing and how the party went.
Author Keenly Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 Howd the party go?? Went to a christmas party/exchange with friends last night as well. Hard to get out when they know how I'm feeling but its better than sitting at home pondering right? Same thing tonight. Have a friends birthday party so looking forward to that as well. Small things like these help ease the pain/transition. Be careful with the liquid confidence though. While I'm a big advocate of it too, I sometimes find that tough times like these, emotions and alcohol don't mix well and all sorts of things come out. Moderation I suppose. Each day is a new one, gets easier. Ups and downs, but staying strong is key. Anyway, looking forward to hearing how you're doing and how the party went. Thank you for asking, the party was fun but nothing special happened between brittany (Hot as hell) and me. Her personality would never mesh with mine, she is very... how do I explain... Jokingly mean and aggressive. I am too, however she is like quadruple of me, and its too much. Would still totally have sex with her though. Anyway, an update as of last night. I got home from getting some Mickey D's , and after consuming most of the fries on a 45 seconds drive home , I got a facebook message from my ex.... "We don't have to be strangers for a little while, let me sleep in your bed tonight" I went inside... opened up facebook... and proceeded to make one of the hardest decisions I have ever made in my entire life. I love this girl, well at least... I love what she used to be, before she changed. I sat there for about 20 minutes just staring at the message.... a giant wall of "Permanent life choice" sat in front of me. After a good long while... I typed out "I love you baby, but we can't do this dance anymore" My hand hovered over the enter button as uncontrollable silent tears POURED over my face. This went on for 3-4 minutes before I hit enter... and pulled myself together. She played it off all cool, but I know her, and I know she was pretty hurt. I was hurt not only because I had just hurt her, but because I just told the woman I love that I am moving on....... That was hard, But I truly hope all of my new LS friends can be proud of me.... I didn't know I had that inside of me. Thank you for the continued support because honestly, you guys are all I have for advice. My friends are somewhat lacking in the knowledge of our female counterparts.
Balzac Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Bold and necessary move! You're making good decisions.
Jono85 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 it's a good decision, but "i love you baby..." ?!?! you could have done much better. she's not your baby, and u shouldn't be telling her you love her.
Author Keenly Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 it's a good decision, but "i love you baby..." ?!?! you could have done much better. she's not your baby, and u shouldn't be telling her you love her. Sorry, but i do. I think you are reading too much into it. Its like a "I love you are not the right person for me" kind of thing. I guess your going to have to take my word about this girl and letting her down easy. After her last breakup, she went crazy, shaved her head, and took a bottle of tylenol PM. Tried to be a little soft with it.
bdizzle Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Well done. I did the same thing with mine. Her posts were just too much to handle so unfriending her was a hard, but necessary move. Don't know if I could show the same restraint you did had she asked to sleep with me, the closeness and intamacy...would have been wonderful for the time being but would definitely set me back...but great job! Loving her and her children but knowing when to let go is the hardest move I've ever had to make. Coming here and venting/crying has been a lifesaver. Each day gets a little easier. Today being 5 days NC. No shame/harm telling her you love her. She knows it, you know it. No reason not to express your feelings towards her out of honesty. Couldn't have been easy. Keep it up, you're doing great!
MyAngel Posted December 24, 2012 Posted December 24, 2012 Well done. That is a mature move on your part and I hope it gives you closure and you can move on.
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