Help me w/long term relationship. She is acting differently, needs alone time...

[FN FAL]

I have been dating the same girl for almost 2 years, but things have started to change lately...

 

A few weeks ago, when we were grocery shopping, she said she wanted to start going out separately (her w/her friends, me with mine). I am not oppossed to the idea, but found it odd that she would suggest it, considering that for the past 2 years, she was opposed to it. We fought over it and I threatened to break up with her...

 

A few days later, we tried to spend a day apart (her idea), but she ended up coming over in the afternoon...

 

She has a new job, and she is in a sorority (we are both 21, and both in greek organizations), so she has had pre-rush all this week during the day, and then works at night. The reason why I'm telling you this is because she has almost ALWAYS initiated sex EVERY DAY (kind of a role reversal), but now she doesn't want to very often, and only after I initiate. When I pointed out this change, she blamed it on stress from work and sorority rush.

 

She doesn't seem as happy lately. She says she wants to have time alone to relax after work, which is unusual...

 

In the past 2 weeks, I have gotten really drunk with my fraternity brothers, but I find myself in a drunken rage later in the night telling her that I think she's cheating on me, that I am sick of not having sex with her, and the night before last I said "that she may as well screw every other guy since she doesn't want to go out with me anymore".

 

The most disturbing part, though, is that she commands less attention. She used to call me constantly, beg for affection and attention, and always be very touchy. This activity has declined to the point that I am scared.

 

I am pretty sure she isn't cheating on me (she really doesn't have the time for it, and hasn't been acting suspiciously). We ALWAYS spend the night together. In the past two years, there has not been a night that we haven't slept in the same bed together, even after all those awful things I have said to her. But the little changes are scaring me, and given the fact that it is summer, and only one of my brothers is in town, I find myself alone throughout the day and lonely.

 

I feel that the roles have reversed. I find myself fighting for her attention, and confirmation that she loves me. I have started pretending towards her that everything is normal when it is not, because I feel that making her feel bad about how she has acted lately might scare her away. I try not to do anything crazy or lame like beg to be with her, or stalk her, or even tell her I feel alone and worried, because I think that it would have a negative impact.

 

She blames the changes on the short temper I had at the end of this past semester due to stress, and that I sometimes "act like her dad" (she is irresponsible, and not as mature as she should be, please take my word for it) I have stopped acting this way.

 

We are going out on a date tonight (her idea)...What do I need to do to get things back to normal? I want her to be begging me for attention again.

 

THANK YOU ALL

[WhiteDragon]

Sounds to me she is stressed out. Happens to my girl all the time. They over work and get easily stressed out. Sometimes they want to just relax and not have to deal with anyone when they have some alone time. Its nothing against you. When stress is around...say goodbye to sex. College is very hard on couples. Just don't get short with her and don't add to her stressful life. She needs you to talk to and to confide to about her life. If she wants some alone time...then give it to her. That gives you time to do some productive like working out, hobbies...

Good luck with her.

[bamaguy20]

dude...i wouldnt buy that stressed out thing...the exact same thing happend with my ex girlfriend..we are both about the same age, 20.....send me a message sometime, ill letchu know what i think, dont really have time to type it all out right now