funkydoodles Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 I'm having some emotional anger that I'm feeling right now and I don't know the appropriate way to address it as I don't want to let it fester for too long. My boyfriend said a week ago that he would come down to my house and visit me on Saturday (we live like an hour and a half away) for Christmas. I, of course, got very excited because I got him this awesome gift and I like to spend time with him. The most we get to see each other is once a week. But later he told me that he may not be able to hang out because he has some voice recording (he's in film school) to do out of town. He hasn't heard back from the people he was going to work with and had said previously that if he didn't hear back from them, he would drive down. Today, I asked to see if he heard back from the people and he told me no so I wanted to confirm that he could hang out this weekend. He hesitated and then said that he wants to but probably shouldn't as he has "stuff to do". He's an artsy type and is writing a book and that was his reason for not being able to come down. Part of me wants to be supportive and encouraging but I'm his girlfriend; is it too much to ask for him to take one day off to see me? For Christmas no less? I feel like I've been blown off. How can I bring this up to him in a way that shows both respect and concern?
newmoon Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 would he be up for a surprise visit from you? is there a reason why you cannot go to him instead? maybe you could suggest that? 'hey babe, i'm disappointed we cannot spend the entire day together, but what about a portion of it, so we can exchange gifts?' nothing wrong with something like that, or with expressing your disappointment (with the situation, not him). 'i'm sad/disappointed we aren't going to be with one another, i'd been looking forward to it.' i'd be bummed too, but i'd rather have my bf not be with me than be with me because he felt guilted into it, you know? you don't want him there if he'd rather be someplace else. but, his response could be coming from a place of sadness too, so make sure you're not overlooking the possibility that he really wants to be convinced to spend time together.
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