Butterfly_Queen Posted August 14, 2004 Posted August 14, 2004 I was wondering what others thought of this. For about the past 2 years now, my H has been drinking alot more than usual. Mainly mixed drinks. He mixes excessive amounts. When he comes home its the first thing he does. I never had a problem with him having a drink. The problem is the amount and the fact he feels the need to drink every night. He has never been abusive, but the alcohol changes him quickly. Becomes angry and snappy real easy. I have asked him to get help and he started counseling last week. Mainly its for other issuses as well, but he said he brought the alcohol thing up to the counselor. I asked him before he ever went to counseling to not bring any more alcohol in the house. I don't care for how it makes him. I haven't seen anymore. However, now he is bringing in a case of 24 of beer. He told me when he talked to the counselor (only been to one session so far, just started) the counselor asked how many beers did he have. My H said about 5 or 6 a night. The counselor then said, "So this is a every night thing?" and my H told him "yes". The counselor then said, "Well its POSSIBLE you may have a slight problem." I don't get that. I think he DOES have a problem. I'm no counselor, but my question is, do others think that 5 or 6 EVERY night means he has a problem? Giving his past history over the past 2 years with drinking mixed drinks in excessive amounts then turning to beer seems to me he does. I do know that people don't have to be a fallen down drunk to be considered an alcoholic. Any thoughts are appreciated. PS. Also the other night as soon as he came in, he downed the first 3 beers in about 10 minutes.
honeyboobonnie Posted August 14, 2004 Posted August 14, 2004 For sure...and you are right, you don't have to be drunk to be considered an alcoholic. I hope the counselor will work with him. Maybe he/she said possibly because it was the first night and you need to instill trust in the working relationship.
pedwin Posted August 14, 2004 Posted August 14, 2004 You're husband is a definitely an alcoholic. I was married to one for 16 years. My sister has recently shown signs of being an alcoholic. A person who lies about how much they drink or changes their choice of drink (just so they can still drink) Is an alcoholic. I'll bet his therapist told him he had a drinking problem but when he got home he told you the lighter version. Put your foot down now or you will soon be living in pure hell. My husband shot himself in the head with a rifle. I hope you can get him to see the light. Video tape him when he's drunk and running his mouth. Sometimes if they actually see themselves it jolts them into reality. Good Luck, Pedwin
supermom Posted August 14, 2004 Posted August 14, 2004 Also another sign is if he drinks to get drunk. My husband shot himself in the head with a rifle. I hope you can get him to see the light. Video tape him when he's drunk and running his mouth. Sometimes if they actually see themselves it jolts them into reality. Good Luck, Pedwin Good idea. Pedwin, I am soooo sorry to hear that. OMG I hope you are okay.
pedwin Posted August 14, 2004 Posted August 14, 2004 As you can see I'm still upset over his suicide. Then I remarried and this S.O.B. has been having an affair for 6 years. At least with the Drunk I knew what he was going to do. He was going to get drunk. I have no idea what this bastard is going to do from one minute to the next. pedwin
Butterfly_Queen Posted August 14, 2004 Posted August 14, 2004 Thanks for the replys. Heres whats sad on my part. Half the time I'm so busy with the kids that sometimes I don't even know how much for sure he has drunk. The reason being, I see he will have one in his hand, but I never see him throw the cans away, be it in the trash or recycle bin. A little later I'll see he has another one in his hand. So I really never knew for sure how many he had been having. So just recently I sarted to count how many was in the refrig. before he came home. Then later on before bed or the next morning I would see how many was gone and then know for sure how many he had, subtracted from the ones in there before he got home. I hate doing that, and maybe its wrong, but the fact I never saw what he did with his cans made me think he was truly hiding it. Maybe he thought as long as I saw him with one beer in his hand the whole night I would think it was the same one. I don't know. Anyway like I said before, he just stated the counseling and I'm surprised the counselor hasn't told him to get rid of the beer. Maybe he has I don't know. For so long I wanted him to seek help and he finally has. However, a friend of mine told me that she thought my H was only gonna tell me so much of what the counselor has told him. Maybe thats so, but I just want him to at least do or follow what the counselor has said. Thanks again for the replys.
faux Posted August 16, 2004 Posted August 16, 2004 I don't think that the counselor is going to outright say "You are an alcoholic" for a little while yet. I believe the counselor needs to know more about your husband before he or she decides the best course of action on breaking the news, and what will and will not work with him. I've been in therapy before, for different reasons. Never did any psychiatrist or therapist jump to a conclusion about something and tell me right then. It took a few sessions, or a few weeks of sessions, before anyone would try to break it to me that there was something wrong.
Artifact Posted August 16, 2004 Posted August 16, 2004 Don't feel guilty about counting beers in the fridge. You have yourself and your kids to protect. Even if his behavior is only mildly different now, you never know when it can change. I hope the counselor can help him and your family. Good luck!
Butterfly_Queen Posted August 17, 2004 Posted August 17, 2004 Thanks for the replys. Faux, you're right. I guess I shouldn't expect the counselor to come right out and say that my H is for sure an alcoholic in just one visit. He may not even say it all, it may be that he knows he is, but instaed of telling him, he'll just give him advice as to what he needs to do. Thanks again.
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