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Posted

Hi to everyone on here.

 

il make this story kinda short.

 

I met this girl 3,5 years ago, we dated for 2 years on off long distance...it was unreal.amazing{iv previously had a relationship that lasted 5 years.}

we clicked the first time we met.

 

 

 

we broke up like 1 year and 8 months ago.i wasnt there for her when she needed me...as she is the past year+ for me...... it didnt bother me in the start, we remained really good friends and talked alot about our boyfriends girlfriends our life ect ect....

WHAT a terrible lie i told myself that i could be friends with her......perhaps subconsiously i was a friend with her cause i didnt want to face reality that we broke up..

she has made me realize and told me that she cannot make me happy and i have to find someone else....iv done everything that i have never done before for someone..in this relationship.....i sent her flowers...wrote her a letter...went to get hypnotized to erase her memory{she doesnt know this of course]...listened to all her troubles when she needed me...i have stopped talking to her to get over her....threw everything i had that reminds me of her......

 

this is like a bad nightmare because everything was so pure..i dont know whats going on really....we talk a bit...every now and then i keep the con versations short and simple......

 

the thing is that i think of her alot and i mean a lot....sometimes i can cry easily and feel very sad just by looking at photos of her on my pc {she sent me her cv so i can perhaps help her out and find her a job] hence the photo.

 

even ...when i have sex with a nother girl i think of her and end up ****ing it all for me and the girl.

 

i go out... i have hobbies... i do bodybuilding makes me feel good..been doing it for 3 years i use steroids to make mne feel and look better...the thing is that no matter what i do i end up thinking about her and its destroying my life. seriously im only 24..the thing is i know its true love cause i would still be with her even if she was fat,+ i just want her to be well and happy in her life, thats whats made me give her space and not bug her around and make her unhappy :) just breaks my soul that i lost her and will never be with her again..knowing there are soo many girls around, still doesnt make me feel good.

i have a great family very supportive, thank god i am somewhat comfortable economically and i look good but i feel very lonely without her and nothing matters any more....i havent talked about this with them cause i dont feel comfortable and i wont.

i know all the right answers i think..go out..meet new people....throw stuff away that remind you of her....be active..think positive...but i just cant forget about her...all i want is peaced in my soul and heart. im really confused. sometimes i tnhink about killing myself but then think about the people that love me. i just cant love anyone until this **** goes away..i know time heals all...well when?

 

;)

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Posted

can anyone relate to this? if so, any pointers??? comments ideas????

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