Smitten80 Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 My coworker and I both started with our company around the same time 10 years ago. Up until recently I never really thought much of him. We've always had a casual relationship and we'd talk from time to time, but nothing serious. He's a respectful guy and he's nice and everything, but I was never really attracted to him romantically. Two days ago I don't know what the heck happened, but I feel like I got hit by a love truck or something because he's literally ALL I can think about. Nothing between us changed so I don't know why all of a sudden he's "it". As I said, he's a great guy. He's always been very respectful and kind. He's funny and now of course I think he's attactive. His body type is exactly my preference too! The downside, he does have a girlfriend and kids. His girlfriend cheated on him a year or so ago, but they're apparently trying to work it out. Although, now the selfish part of me is wishing they'd break up for good so I could at least have a chance to be with him. I've never wanted my own kids, but I know that he's a great dad and that his kids are part of the package. I'd be willing to work with that at least to see if we could make it long term. Anyway, I think I'm getting way ahead of myself. He's taken right now. I'm single, but he's not. I can not have him unless he breaks it off with his cheating girlfriend. I just don't understand now how someone who has such a great guy could cheat on him. So my point in all of this I guess is to ask for advice on stopping these feelings. I know we can't help who we fall for, but I always seem to fall for the ones I can't have. This is the first time it's on a coworker... someone I have to see all day long for 5 out of the 7 days of the week. It's only been 2 days since I've had such strong feelings for him and it's already killing me knowing that he goes home to his girlfriend. How I'd love for him to tell me that he broke it off with her and would like to take me out. Fat chance that's gonna happen.
RachR Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 I know how you feel, except it's my boss. He's single, but yeah. If I find the answer I will let you know, lol.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 I know what you mean too. You can't every really stop the feelings unless you meet someone who's more available.
rocketman122 Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Nothing between us changed so I don't know why all of a sudden he's "it" after 10 years and now he's it? get the hell outta here! stay away and dont intervene. let him try to fix his relationship with his GF. if he decides to move on, then you can move in. its your hormones going crazy because youre single. youre not getting any and your snatch is itching. stay away, you'll make things worse. his priority is to his children and GF, not you. how the hell do you see someone for 10 years and all of sudden youre interested? now he's your type? such BS. IMO, with the way you change your mind so easily, you are not stable and the relationship will fall apart. just the way youre attracted to him all of a sudden, you will change your mind and walk away at the same speed. you are bad news. stay away and let him work it out with out you influencing his relationship.
SmileFace Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 of myself. He's taken right now. I'm single, but he's not. I can not have him unless he breaks it off with his cheating girlfriend. I just don't understand now how someone who has such a great guy could cheat on him. So my point in all of this I guess is to ask for advice on stopping these feelings. I know we can't help who we fall for, but I always seem to fall for the ones I can't have. This is the first time it's on a coworker... someone I have to see all day long for 5 out of the 7 days of the week. It's only been 2 days since I've had such strong feelings for him and it's already killing me knowing that he goes home to his girlfriend. How I'd love for him to tell me that he broke it off with her and would like to take me out. Fat chance that's gonna happen. Yes we can You don't this man despite the years to now suddenly love him. Did you he offer you hug during a hard time or something?
Author Smitten80 Posted December 21, 2012 Author Posted December 21, 2012 Nothing between us changed so I don't know why all of a sudden he's "it" after 10 years and now he's it? get the hell outta here! stay away and dont intervene. let him try to fix his relationship with his GF. if he decides to move on, then you can move in. its your hormones going crazy because youre single. youre not getting any and your snatch is itching. stay away, you'll make things worse. his priority is to his children and GF, not you. how the hell do you see someone for 10 years and all of sudden youre interested? now he's your type? such BS. IMO, with the way you change your mind so easily, you are not stable and the relationship will fall apart. just the way youre attracted to him all of a sudden, you will change your mind and walk away at the same speed. you are bad news. stay away and let him work it out with out you influencing his relationship. Wow, you sound like your hormones are going a little crazy yourself. You can choose to believe it or not, but I wrote the truth about my circumstances. I had ZERO romantic feelings for him until recently. I certainly dont need you being an ******* and talking to me the way you are. Thank god he's not like you! And, for your information I have no intentions of interfering with him and his girlfriend. If he wants to settle down with a cheater that's his call. Until he's single there's no chance of me making a play for him. So why don't you stop be so f'ing judgemental when you don't even know me. I asked for advice not for a verbal lashing.
Author Smitten80 Posted December 21, 2012 Author Posted December 21, 2012 Yes we can You don't this man despite the years to now suddenly love him. Did you he offer you hug during a hard time or something? So you must know something I don't. How do we control who we fall for? No, he did not hug me during a hard time. As I said we've had only a casual relationship. That's why I'm so confused as to what's happening and where the heck these feelings came from.
SmileFace Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 So you must know something I don't. How do we control who we fall for? No, he did not hug me during a hard time. As I said we've had only a casual relationship. That's why I'm so confused as to what's happening and where the heck these feelings came from. No. I am pretty sure I don't have any top notch secret. You can say we can't control who we fall for but we can control what we do. You are putting too much thought into a 2 day sudden change of heart. Plus it isn't like falling for someone who just doesn't want you - you should be secure enough in your self to not be attracted a taken man. I am not saying you should agree and I can see how it can be hard but be kind to your self. They are probably temporary- don't make one small mistake be a problem that can be a issue to many.
TheZebra Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Nothing between us changed so I don't know why all of a sudden he's "it" after 10 years and now he's it? get the hell outta here! stay away and dont intervene. let him try to fix his relationship with his GF. if he decides to move on, then you can move in. its your hormones going crazy because youre single. youre not getting any and your snatch is itching. stay away, you'll make things worse. his priority is to his children and GF, not you. how the hell do you see someone for 10 years and all of sudden youre interested? now he's your type? such BS. IMO, with the way you change your mind so easily, you are not stable and the relationship will fall apart. just the way youre attracted to him all of a sudden, you will change your mind and walk away at the same speed. you are bad news. stay away and let him work it out with out you influencing his relationship. What? I've had plenty of guys come into my life who I saw initially as just friends, co-workers, or even teachers and then eventually at a later point something snapped in my head and I was suddenly attarcted to them. Not sure if it was something they did or said, but it happens. There's nothing abnormal about that =/
MoonSiren Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Is the cheating gf the mother of the kids? That may be why he is staying with her for their sake.
Author Smitten80 Posted December 21, 2012 Author Posted December 21, 2012 So I had to see him again today at work. We chatted for a little while about out of work stuff (hobbies mostly). The whole time I just kept staring into his eyes wanting so badly to just tell him, but I can't and I didn't. It's killing me though. Everytime we talk I find out that we have even more in common than I thought. I do think we'd be good together if it ever happens, but until he's broken it off with his girlfriend which I don't see happening it'll never happen. What? I've had plenty of guys come into my life who I saw initially as just friends, co-workers, or even teachers and then eventually at a later point something snapped in my head and I was suddenly attarcted to them. Not sure if it was something they did or said, but it happens. There's nothing abnormal about that =/ Thank you! I'm glad someone understands. It's relatively normal for friends to eventually develop feelings for each other. I know I'm not the only one. It's just weird how sudden it was. I still have no clue how or why it's happening like this. Is the cheating gf the mother of the kids? That may be why he is staying with her for their sake. Yes, as far I know (or maybe as far as he knows) he is the father. He's really a great family man which is why I have no intentions of getting in the middle of things. Heck, even if he were single it would be hard enough for me to work up the courage to tell him how I feel. No way on earth would I tell him now knowing I have no chance! Hopefully if she cheats again, he'll figure it out that he's wasting him time with her. Even if he ends up with someone else besides me I just want him to be a girl who deserves him. He is a stand up guy and deserves more. Did you turn 35 two days ago? Me? No I did not.
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