runnergirl_8 Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Hi All! first time poster here looking for some advice... **sorry in advance this is going to be kind of long Ok, so I was dating a guy for about 2.5 years. We met in college and never really had any huge looming issues, just the standard little fights I suppose. We had a really great relationship, similar interests, goals, values, etc. He lived out of state so after we were both done with school he ended up moving to my hometown and got a house with my brother (they had become good friends since we started dating) At this point in time I was still living at college because I had decided to stay an extra year and get my master's we were only about an hour or so apart so visiting was never really an issue. When I finally moved home I began working full time and we spent time together when we could (he was out of work at the time) things were beginning to get strained between us, but I wasn't really worried about it because I just figured it would pass as any of our other rough patches had in the past. Well this time it was not the same. He went away with his friend on a trip and he made out with a girl at the bar (someone who he had been friends with, someone I knew.) He told me about it as soon as he got home from this trip and I broke up with him. He told me nothing else happened and I do believe him because after all this time together he never was one to lie about something important. So anyway fast forward 4 months and we are now trying to get back together. I thought I would try to give our relationship another chance so I am trying to forgive him for his mistake, because that is really what it was. While we were apart I dated and slept with someone else (he told me that he didn't want to know what I did so I haven't told him.) I, on the other hand, wanted to know what happened while we were apart and he said he had sex with someone (three weeks after we split) and I am having trouble dealing with it. He said he doesn't want me to feel bad about it and it really meant nothing, but I just can't get the image out of my head. I am not mad at him, because we WERE broken up and I dumped him, eve though it was his fault. Honestly I am just looking to see if anyone else has been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it...... Thanks in advance <3
HaveFaithxx Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Well, ask yourself if you had told him that you slept with someone else and it bothered him, what would you tell him to make him feel better? Think of how little that meant to you. I really can't understand how it can bother you. You broke up with him and he could sleep with anyone he wanted. So many people on this site are dying to get their ex back. You are so lucky. Look forward, that was the past.
KatZee Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Honestly, there's nothing to say here but "get over it." He was single, you guys were over. For all he knew you guys were never getting back. Your ex/bf whatever he is right now KNEW that if he heard you slept with anyone it would hurt him so he said he didn't want to know. You chose the other route and now you know. If you want to get back together you need to get over it. Plain and simple. Reconciliations don't work unless it's a clean, fresh slate and right now I don't see that. Maybe you guys need to remain single and just build the relationship back to what it was by being friends first and seeing where it goes.
Author runnergirl_8 Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 Thanks for the input guys. He's made it clear that he's willing to do whatever it takes for us to be happy again so I'm going to do the same and that means letting go of things. Time is the most important thing here I guess. 1
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