Broke NC - she replied straight away

[Lone]

Hi team, I just broke NC after about 3 weeks. We broke up a month ago.

 

I know shes going home today for xmas.

 

I just said "hey know your heading home today just wanted to wish u a safe trip and all the best to the fam"

 

She replied straight away saying thanks for message and that shes looking forward to going home and to make sure i catch up with her girls - who i'm friends with also.

 

she also sent me a picture message of a music store she had obviously come across which had my nickname for her in the store name.

 

She obviously took this pic after we broke up...

 

am i reading too much into this. is this the old breadcrumbs story...

i still love her so much.

[TaraMaiden]

am i reading too much into this. is this the old breadcrumbs story...

i still love her so much.

 

 

Honestly, I couldn't even find anything to read into it, at all...

 

Dumb thing to do, though, breaking NC.

 

How's the old 'square one' looking from your end?

Pretty crappy, huh?

[Lone]

Wow your a bag of sunshine.

 

Actually no. After the way things had ended I'm feeling quite upbeat. It was positive. which is better than we had left things for the last few weeks. Im going to run into her eventually so at least now things wont be as awkward as they would have been.

 

Also, the fact she sent me that picture shows that i and the relationship were still on her mind enough to stop and take that photo. and the point she sent it to me could mean a variety of things...

[TaraMaiden]

You asked if you were reading too much into this.

I am of the opinion that you are.

 

It's not exactly breadcrumbs, because 'breadcrumbs' is contact, first, by the dumper.

But she's not inviting any form of closer contact.

 

I think you love her so much, you'd actually latch onto anything.

Frankly, sending her a greeting was a bad idea.

You can't get her out of your mind, now, can you?

 

Read the NC guide in my signature.

 

Frankly, breaking NC for not much of anything at all - does you no good at all.

 

You might have missed her quite a bit, over Christmas.

Now?

Now you're going to miss her a whole lot more.....

[Lone]

I dont entirely agree. Im assuming you've been hurt very badly by someone who mistreated you. But putting your experiences onto my situation isnt constructive. You seem to have a very pessimistic world view.

 

If she just wanted to be polite she wouldnt have sent the picture message - thats what i believe. What use would sending a picture of a store which features my nickname for her throughout our entire relationship have?

 

im trying to decide whether to reply... i was thinking to just say that i plan on seeing the girls on xmas and make some funny comment about the picture? thoughts?

 

look im not trying to have a go at you at all and i do appreciate your opinion more than you probably think but there is no universal rule for these things. i know NC is great for moving on but lets face it sometimes rules need to be broken. my biggest issue has been the constant thought that she hates me- now i know she doesnt.

[TaraMaiden]

I dont entirely agree. Im assuming you've been hurt very badly by someone who mistreated you.

 

Your assumption is entirely incorrect.

However, having been on this website for some considerable time, I have sufficient experience of what breaking Contact results in.

 

 

But putting your experiences onto my situation isnt constructive. You seem to have a very pessimistic world view.

You asked questions. Simply because you disagree with me, doesn't make me wrong....I'm not a pessimist - and many here will vouch for that. But I see a reality differently to you, being an outside observer. You're in the thick of it, and to an extent your heart is ruling your head.....

 

 

If she just wanted to be polite she wouldnt have sent the picture message - thats what i believe. What use would sending a picture of a store which features my nickname for her throughout our entire relationship have?

Yeah... that's the 'breadcrumb' part.....

 

im trying to decide whether to reply... i was thinking to just say that i plan on seeing the girls on xmas and make some funny comment about the picture? thoughts?

Why are you doing this?

You cannot be a friend to someone you still have romantic yearnings for.... How would you feel if the next picture she sent you was of her and her new BF - because she thought you were just being a friend, and therefore 'over her'....?

 

i know NC is great for moving on but lets face it sometimes rules need to be broken.

And sometimes, breaking them is a big mistake.....

 

my biggest issue has been the constant thought that she hates me- now i know she doesnt.

She never hated you.

She just didn't love you enough to keep going out with you. Hence the fact that she's your ex.

 

What is your game-plan exactly? Why are you under the impression that contact is a good thing?

What are you endeavouring to achieve by it?

[sadpanda87]

OP, i feel for you i do... its obvious you want her back, and she may also have some kindof lingering attachment or just thought the photo was funny.

 

the real question is, what is the right thing for you to do for YOUR future? you obiously broke up for a reason

 

holding onto these feelings will do you no good. my ex tried to be friendly with me while dating my ex best friend, just so she wouldnt feel bad about hurting me. ironic, no?

[Chi townD]

Sorry dude. But I have to agree with Tara on this one. Do you honestly think that she would have contacted you if you hadn't contacted her first? Because, I'm not feeling it.

 

Sure, you my feel positive and upbeat and that's great! I just hope it's not for the wrong reason and that reason being false hope. You may come back and say, "But, she send me a pic of a store with her nickname on it to me!" Okay, fine. But, do you think that all her feelings came rushing back to her and she was compelled to share it with you as a gesture of her feelings for you? Or, did she send it to you to show you a weird happenstance?

 

Bottomline is, NOTHING in her texts suggests to me that she interested in anything more than a friendship.

 

Sorry.

[Mcnulty]

My ex sends me pics, makes daft comments relating to intimate stuff about the past etc...she doesn't want me back, you just know and I'm fine with that...you're not...you're looking into the pic too much and yep, you've maybe just opened up a can of worms for yourself.

 

You want her back - you shouldn't have contacted her.

[Pinkbutterflybarbie]

Seriously, what is it with some people's 'preachy' attitude on here. It's like you've been in the situation but instead of offering words of comfort and support some people decide to just jump on their high horse and look down on the people still stuck in a bad place. It really gets on my tits. Breaking no contact isn't always a bad thing, it's not always the way to go and people want to read in to things more than they should then they will until thy learn to come to terms with things in their own time. NC is not always possible (I work with my ex) and sometimes it's too hard to do. No, sending texts / emails etc may not always be the best idea but why do people feel the need to speak to someone who has done it as if they're being scolded by a teacher for being naughty. Learn how to give advice and support without coming across as an arrogant and know-it-all idiot.

[GLDheart]

Breaking No Contact can definately be a step backwards. But, do what ever you think is best for you.

 

I presonally absolutely HATE seeing my ex. She betrayed me on so many levels, did HUGE damage to my life on her way out the door, and broke my heart deeper than I thought anyone could ever.

 

If I didn't share a child with her I would love nothing more than to write her off completely. It just hurts too much to see her. And then, to have my daughter tell me about everything she does with the new boyfriend and how he gave mommy his cold etc.... I would rather just not have to go through that.

 

But you know what? Seeing this harsh reality for what it is and facing that pain head on actually helps me move on.

 

So when you break no contact old feelings re-surface, your vulnerabilities are re-exposed, and you get harsh truths slapped in your face. That is why it's a bad idea to break no contact... BUT, and if you're strong enough to handle it, it just may help you too move on. One step Backwards, two steps forward.