Been Betrayed By The Two People I Trusted Most I Dont Wanna Go On Anymore Please

[jonyx18]

i wanna crawl in a hole and die i just made the biggest mistake of my life and all for peer presure

 

i know im not a child but i feel trown into what i just did for any one that has been following my story i just came out of 2 long term relationships

 

both of them lasted 3yr << let me clarify i went out with my first love 3 yr and rushed into my second relationship 1 wk before everything ended with the love of my life and i was also with him 3 yrs he left me in march>>

 

my last relationship was completely distructive he would always cheat he was always drunk and would constantly beat me << beyond all this i still love him>> i wouldn't take him back but i do love him this brake up came out of the blues one day after taking a trip to see his sister he packed his stuff and said he needed space this ment he had met rosa he kept leading me on for 3 month i kept sleeping with him until the day i found she was in his life he has moved in with her wich is 2 hr away from where we lived he has called me 2 after the move 2 month ago to tell me that he is using her that he doesn't love and that aint his lady yeah right i was born yesterday

 

to make matters even more confusing i spoke to the love of my life 2 days ago he told how much i had hurt him when he found out that i had rushed into this relationship and that he couldn't belive what i had became he new everything that was going on in my life from him cheating constantly, where i lived where i work he new my whole life now he wants to see me this weekend how can i face him i feel so stupid i was always strong and independent and i became this total airhead

 

now comes the really fu@#ed up part i have this b-friend her solution to everything is go F@ck someone this isn't me i need to be in love ive been with these two guys only until last night

 

i met some guy yesterday that i had been talking to online he asked me to go to his house so i asked her to come with me and to also bring a male friend so to cut this story short SHE GOT ME DRUNK i say her cuz she kept forcing me to drink i would tell her that im too drunk and she kept telling me that she new what was best for me she has always been there when i get to the point that i cant even make desicions and ended up sleeping with this guy while i was with him i noticed that he wasn't wearing a rubber i didn't know this guy and he had no rubber the only thing that i could do was cry in the middle of it so he stopped than when i stopped he proceeded again until he came it hurt so much i had never been treated that way b-4 i had no idea how a man that didn't have any feeling for a person would treat a women he is 28 and im 21 i know it was my fault i should've never put myself in that position but i trusted her SHE GOT ME DRUNK TO THE POINT THAT I COULDN'T EVEN REMEMBER HOW TO SPEAK

 

WHAT IS EVEN MORE ****ED UP AFTER SHE SAT DOWN WITH HIM TO WATCH SOME OF HIS HOME PORNO VIDEOS SHE IS VERY OPEN MINDED WICH I AM NOT THAN AFTER WE LEFT SHE TELLS ME THAT HE HAD NO RUBBER WITH ANY OF THE HOES FROM THE VIDEO I FEEL LIKE SHE SET ME UP SHE KNOWS ME WE HAD BEEN FRIEND FOR 6 YRS AND TO DO THIS TO ME

 

I WANNA DIE THIS HURTS MORE THAN ALL THE BEATING I TOOK FROM MY EX OR THE CHEATING

[littleflowerpot]

wow.

 

did you tell the guy no? if you did, that's rape. go to the police station and make a report. then they will probably refer you to some sort of counseling. if they don't, find one yourself.

 

if you didn't tell him no and you have no case, at the very least you definitely need counseling. not just for this instance but because you consistently set yourself up to be a victim to a man. the physical abuse by your ex confirms that. right now at this very minute you have to decide if you want to continue to live in a way that allows you to be victimized over and over or if you want to make a lifetime change. it's not easy and i know that from personal experience. don't ignore this or tell yourself that being strong is all you need to get through it. you might get through it this time but it will probably happen to you again.

 

if you're thinking about suicide, you HAVE to ask for help. i know you want help because you're here asking us for it. so stop being these a**h***s victim and go and get it. show them that you ARE a strong woman. show yourself that.

 

as for you so-called friend, she's a dirtbag ho. i know the betrayal of a friend is excrutiating but at least now maybe you have opened your eyes to see her for what she is. i'm sure the signs have been there all along but sometimes we don't want to see them. maybe she's never hurt you before but you've seen her run over other people and you thought to yourself 'well, at least she's not doing nothing wrong to me.' but you've got to look at the QUALITY of people you CHOOSE to have in your life. if you see disturbing signs then you should trust your instinct which will tell you what kind of a person they are. STOP BEING A VICTIM. stop choosing to be involved with people, men or women, that are people with no integrity and will hurt others to achieve what they want.

 

can you confide in a family member? if you can, maybe they can help support you as you find a counselor to help you become the stronger person you really are.

 

i want to tell you i'm sorry for all the pain and betrayal you are feeling right now. it will take time to heal but i know you can.

[singleman]

I'm sorry for your pain, but sometimes, before you know it , things just happen. Realize that today is a new day, and I'm sure you know deep down that you will someday find someone else to make your dreams come true. Try to learn from the past, and move on.

[JONYX18]

THANK U SO MUCH FOR YOUR REPLY IT REALLY DID HELP AS FOR MY SO CALLED FRIEND I CANT SPEAK TO HER ANYMORE I FEEL SO BETRAYED BY HER ITS LITERALLY LIKE SHE SLASHED MY HART I CANT EXPECT ANYMORE FROM HER SHE IS A MUT AND IF SHE HAD TO SELL HER SOUL TO THE DEVIL IF SHE COULD GET LAYED FOR IT IM NOTHING LIKE HER WE HAVE ALWAYS SAID THAT IM DAY AND SHES NIGHT

 

AS FOR THE GUY HE CALLED ME ALL WEEKEND THAT HE WANTED TO SEE ME THAT HE REALLY LIKES ME AND THAT HE MISINTERPRETED ME << HE SAID THAT HE TOUGHT I WAS LIKE HER>>> HE ALSO TOLD ME HE ISN'T READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP BUT THAT HE SEES ME MUCH MORE THAN A FRIEND AND HE CAN WAIT FOR ME UNTIL WE BOTH DECIDE THAT WE R BOTH READY HE HAS BEEN VERY ATTENTIVE WITH ME AND HAS APPOLOGIZED

 

I NEVER SAID NO I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING WHILE WE HAD SEX I JUST LAYED THERE SILENT

 

IM NOT THINKING OF SUICIDE IM REALLY NOT I HAD MY SISTER THAT I TRUST WITH ALL MY HART TAKE CARE OF ME AND KEEP ME OCCUPIED THIS WEEKEND

 

AS FOR MY 1ST EX I DECIDED I WAS TIRED OF THESE CYCLE IM IN I WANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT SO I NEVER MET UP WITH HIM

 

THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY POST IM SURE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON GOING THROUGH THIS