sjd2194x Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Hi there! I know this is a bit long..but I really need some outside perspective. Please read if you think you could help. Thank you so much. My ex and I recently broke up (about a week ago) and I am completely heartbroken. I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I can't stop crying. We dated for almost a year and a half..and I am the one who ended it. I have been stressed out with school and other personal problems..I thought that breaking up would give me time to figure myself out..but I just feel absolutely awful. Our relationship was wonderful. Not without problems, as every relationship has..but I regret, 100% ending it, He told me when we broke up that he wanted me to do what's best for me..but that he didn't want to..he was really understanding. We left it off on pretty good terms. I was ok the first few days and then it hit me like a ton of bricks..I called him. He told me that he needed time and that we just needed to get through the holidays. I told him I loved him and that I was sorry. A couple days ago I called him again..he said he just wanted to be my "best friend"..but he sounds so ok. I don't want him to feel the pain I do..but it makes me wonder whether he cared as much as I thought he did. He told me the first couple days he felt heartbroken and then just accepted the fact that we're over..he then said he couldn't see himself wanting to be with me right now. I don't know if I should wait..or how long I should wait to see if he changes his mind. I would do anything to just be with him again, I don't know if it hasn't hit him yet that we're not together anymore..has anyone been through this? We talked about our future..he said he wanted to marry me..I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be so much appreciated. Thank you for reading.
Jon Lock Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 How long were you together ? And out of curiosity; how old are you both ?
cocolove Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 First of all breathe. Don't panic. You chose to break up because you were stressed out about everything else, focus on you and the problems that you have (not him). Trying to get back together with him while in this panicked state is unattractive. He probably thinks that you don't know what you really want, which is why he's being so iffy about getting back with you. You need to do what you set out to, before he even considers coming back. If you break up with someone and hold to the tons of problems in your life without sorting through them (which is the reason you broke up) he probably believes you'll break up again. You won't change his mind until you do what you set out to. So re-arrange your life. Keep your distance if you want any hope of him returning, stay occupied and BE HAPPY. Play only happy songs, workout, go out with friends and live life. Guys are attracted to people who are happy if he sees your life is back on track. In my experiences all my exes come back at one time or another, but only when my life is going well. It's like they have some kind of radar lol goodluck!
Author sjd2194x Posted December 21, 2012 Author Posted December 21, 2012 Thanks for both of your responses! We're both 19 and we were together for about a year and a half. I think you're absolutely right though..I think I'm just going to give him time and wait until he contacts me first. I just hope it's not too late.
cocolove Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Just make sure you stay busy, and don't let yourself give into the i'm lonely bug. You know the feeling where you miss them, and then you contact them too much (it irritates them). Give it a week or so, work on yourself so you have something to talk about when he contacts again. He'll probably be wondering why you stopped talking out of the blue, and get interested again! They always come back if you had a good connection always. Let us know what happens, goodluck sweetie!
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