Eternal Sunshine Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I love my cat. He is my best friend and I cuddle him all day long I have found it really weird to have men I am casually dating touch and pet my cat. It feels too personal and like I don't know them well enough for them to do that. I wasn't aware I would feel this way - but a few men were over (at different times) and I cringed when they cuddled my cat. I have no problem having sex with these men (is that messed up?). I also have no problem with my friends and family cuddling the cat. I have now decided to close my cat in another room while I have a guy over. They will only meet him if things get serious. I dunno, is this very f-ed up?
TaraMaiden Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Honestly? Yes. Put it this way: You're happy for them to have full-on access to your pussy, but stroking your cat is a no-no? I think that answers your question..... Sheesh.... 14
Woggle Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 That is a little weird. The mail man has petted my cat before. Let him decide whether he wants somebody to pet him or not. 3
Later82012 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Do you feel like the men you are casually dating would do it with your cat too or do you feel like your cat is competing for the same men as you? Lady, IMO you are very insecure and you need counseling. 1
yongyong Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I cringed when they cuddled my cat. I have no problem having sex with these men I think you are weird from a general perspective. But as a guy, I don't mind going over to a girl's house, not touching the cat and scaring the cat at the end because she will see the owner screaming. 1
AlexDP Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I love my cat. He is my best friend and I cuddle him all day long I have found it really weird to have men I am casually dating touch and pet my cat. It feels too personal and like I don't know them well enough for them to do that. I wasn't aware I would feel this way - but a few men were over (at different times) and I cringed when they cuddled my cat. I have no problem having sex with these men (is that messed up?). I also have no problem with my friends and family cuddling the cat. I have now decided to close my cat in another room while I have a guy over. They will only meet him if things get serious. I dunno, is this very f-ed up? It stands to reason. Just as you are always a reasonable person.
naviis Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I cringed when they cuddled my cat. I have no problem having sex with these men (is that messed up?) Yes, that is messed up. Seek help. 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 I think I just see my cat as more special than I see myself And yes, I am weird, eccentric, quirky, all of those things. That's why I find it so hard to connect to anyone hence I am perma-single.
Later82012 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Yeah, it's really weird when your cat is more valuable than your cat. 3
Wunlov3 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I think I just see my cat as more special than I see myself And yes, I am weird, eccentric, quirky, all of those things. That's why I find it so hard to connect to anyone hence I am perma-single. Wow! ES, I think you need to take some time out and work on yourself, even if it means forking out a few bucks to see a therapist. You'll never have a stable relationship if you continue to view yourself like this.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 Wow! ES, I think you need to take some time out and work on yourself, even if it means forking out a few bucks to see a therapist. You'll never have a stable relationship if you continue to view yourself like this. That's why I am kind of staying away from serious relationships for now. I need to sort out my issues. I can't seem to stay away from casual flings though and I probably should :/
Tara247 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I love my cat. He is my best friend and I cuddle him all day long ...I have now decided to close my cat in another room while I have a guy over. They will only meet him if things get serious. I dunno, is this very f-ed up? This is a joke, right?!? Please tell me this is a joke... :bunny: 1
xxoo Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 That's why I am kind of staying away from serious relationships for now. I need to sort out my issues. I can't seem to stay away from casual flings though and I probably should :/ It doesn't sound like the casual flings are helping you sort through your issues.... 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 ES ES...poor dear. Hug me?
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Hug me? Awh poor ES! SUPER HUGS* You will be alright. Just realize that you are more valuable than your cat and your vagina is more valuable than the cat LOL. The cat will be happy to be petted, don't ya think oh so silly girl? 2
Mint Sauce Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 eccentric, weird, and quirky don't mean you can't connect with people and have a lasting relationship. Perhaps you find the candidate partners just too boring? Perhaps you have to find a different pond to fish from? however, it does sound like you have some self-esteem issues, or a sky-high sex drive. If the latter: buy some toys, or find a FWB you can trust with your cat
Eclypse Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Honestly? Yes. Put it this way: You're happy for them to have full-on access to your pussy, but stroking your cat is a no-no? I think that answers your question..... Sheesh.... Lol!!!! I had to laugh. This says it all... 2
Arabella Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 You know, I have a cat too, and I consider it somewhat of a "test" for men in my life. If kitty approves of them, they earn a good chunk of brownie points. If he's indifferent, oh well... no harm done. If my cat downright dislikes them (and you know how vocal cats are about disliking something or someone), I'm going to be looking at his behavior very carefully to determine where the hate is coming from. Sometimes, animals sense things about people that we don't immediately see. -A 4
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 It's funny when my cat keeps trying to sit in between me and a guy on the couch 2
iris219 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I think I just see my cat as more special than I see myself You gave the best response here yourself. Why do you feel this way? I think figuring this out would be helpful. Do you feel unworthy because you have trouble meeting men you connect with, while everyone else seems to be able to do this? Is it because the men you date from OLD aren't really men you're into, but a temporary cure for boredom and loneliness? I'm just guessing here. What do you think? 1
JamesM Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Perhaps another angle is...that you feel the cat is a part of you, and if a guy makes any comment that is negative or doesn't give the cat the right attention, then you feel it as a personal insult to you. Just a thought. It would not be the first time that I heard of this. I don't think you are weird. 1
MoonSiren Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I love my kitten too and like to see how men interact with her. She is great at detecting if someone is of good character or not.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 You gave the best response here yourself. Why do you feel this way? I think figuring this out would be helpful. Do you feel unworthy because you have trouble meeting men you connect with, while everyone else seems to be able to do this? Is it because the men you date from OLD aren't really men you're into, but a temporary cure for boredom and loneliness? I'm just guessing here. What do you think? Iris, Thanks for your thoughts. I actually think it's both of those things. I do feel unworthy because I simply don't connect with any men I meet. Keep in mind that pretty much all single men I meet are through OLD. This is not by choice. I don't meet any men over 30 that are single in real life. Much like you. I work and have somewhat normal social life. I perhaps meet one or two single men in my age group per year (if I am lucky). In general, they are of much better quality than OLD men. One of them was my ex and even though he had his problems, we did live together and had a LTR. It seems like OLD men are bottom of the barrel. Thy are either players or liars or commitment-phobes or are very socially inept... I know people here think my standards are too high but they are really not. I run OLD profiles past my friends and most are surprised that I even want to bother meeting these guys, let alone date them. It is just depressing to meet so many men and have no connection. The alternative of not going on any dates (which is what will happen if I quit OLD) is just as bad. So it's hard not to feel really down on myself.
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