Scanning for successor

[Aulë]

All,

 

I really don't how to ask the question I want to properly, so I'm afraid I am going to have to ask it badly.

 

I am 50 years old and my wife is 41. My wife has a degenerative illness and has been given a maximum 10 year remaining lifespan based on her BMI and family history of diabetes and heart disease.

 

As for myself, I have autism. I never really could understand what drives most men to do the irrational things they do. I pretty much consider myself an "adult human male", than a "real man". I do at least as much housework as my wife does, I do the bulk of the cooking, cleaning, and dishwashing since my wife's knees are giving out over time.

 

I adore my wife to the point of near worship, and we have a 9 year old daughter who is the sunshine in my life. Our sex in general is unearthly for us both, although it has been getting less frequent as my wife's disease progresses.

 

That being said, is it unusual, or even reprehensible, about giving some thoughts as to finding a lady to succeed my wife once she finally passes on, especially as a new mother for my child?

 

I am acquainted with one or more attractive women in my community who are my wife's present age and had been passed up for marriage for one reason for another. So far I have never contacted them and never will about this matter.

 

But is it really a bad thing to hold a name or two in reserve to possibly ask out a few months to a year afterward? Is this adultery in the heart? Or is this simply "what-iffing" to try to cover contingencies?

 

Please advise,

 

Aule

[RogerWallace111]

I don't think having a "successor" lined up while still with your wife you adore would be right at all, even if it's just mentally. But having/acknowledging thoughts about is perfectly ok and reasonable. I wouldn't give it anymore thought until a time comes when you need to.

[Bumaga vsyo sterpit]

Erm... When the missis kicks the bucket you're gonna have your needs... You're already doing all you can for her.