lovebug1234 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 they guy that i'll be going on a date with is 48 and never married. i didn't want to dig deeper but do you think there's something wrong with him? any single 40 somethings want to explain?
FitChick Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Why don't you wait until you meet him? Talk about your past relationships. Then he should volunteer some information. Just because he's never been married doesn't mean he's never been in love or a relationship. 2
bobsmith76 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 How old are you? If you want to get married, marrying someone 48 years old who's never been married is not very promising. He probably never got married because he did not try hard enough. If he didn't try hard enough in the past then he probably won't be willing to try hard now. You're better off with a man, like me, that has enormous respect for marriage.
clia Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 There might be something wrong with him (i.e. commitment issues) or there might be nothing wrong with him. The only way to find out is to get to know him and to find out why he never married. Don't jump to conclusions. There are some perfectly normal men and women out there in their 40s who for perfectly valid reasons and life path never got married but would now like to. 1
crude Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Why does everyone HAVE to get married? Some people simply don't want a roommate. 1
taiko Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Is there something wrong now? We don't know. Was there something wrong when he was prime marrying age? Probably. However he grew up in an era where he was able to fulfill any sexual needs without commiting to a life mate so the evidence of his being wrong in some way is weaker then it would have been for your great grandparents generation. For what its worth married at 47, my 30s were a mess and it took me 5 years to crawl out from the hole I dug for myself.
ComingInHot Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 My brother is the same age. Never married. Engaged once but they were not meant to be. He is handsome, very fit & healthy. He is waiting for the "right" woman. He is strong, secure yet kind and caring. His only "problem" is meeting that special lady in the right place and the right time. Maybe, that is the same for your gentleman friend?! 1
taiko Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 i'm a single 40 something whos never had a girlfriend, females reject me. Even though most are telling the OP it is okay we know that we blew throuh the culturally accepted norm. I also got the looks and questions with the follow up about any kids. The suspicion that I was living on the so called down low being present. In another thread there is the cultural question about living at home and the failure to launch to take a movie title. However to reach 40 we also rejected many females for not meeting our standards. with the culture expecting us to have settled and started a family while it was still possible. Easier axcess to sex changed the rules and the culture is in transition.
goldengirl11 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 48 never married is fine. 48 never married and still living with mother would be another story.
plainjane79 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 they guy that i'll be going on a date with is 48 and never married. i didn't want to dig deeper but do you think there's something wrong with him? any single 40 somethings want to explain? I once read a quote on a blog (I forget whose so my apologies for not attributing the quote properly) that essentially stated, there is nothing "wrong" with a man who is over 40 and never married, but it's quite likely that he hasn't been wise in his love choices. I find that statement says it all. Meet him, see what's up, but don't expect too much from him prematurely (assuming you are looking for marriage/kids/whatever.)
CptObvious Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I don't plan on getting married until I'm 50 and there's probably a lot of things wrong with me.
ooglesnboogles Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 I know a couple who was together for 20+ years before getting married in their 40s and having a kid. They were fully committed to each other, they just didn't want to jump through the hoops of marriage. They were essentially married before (lived together for years), they just didn't have the paperwork to say so. They wanted to do certain things in life before getting married, they had their fun, then decided it was time to get married and have a kid. So maybe there's something wrong with your guy, or maybe he just didn't find what he was looking for before.
newmoon Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 48 never married is fine. 48 never married and still living with mother would be another story. sadly, this is my bf... but anyway, if he's 48 and never married there is an issue - it'll come out, but not by you asking. his actions/comments/lifestyle will reveal it within a few dates. don't ask - observe and you'll see. you'll make him defensive if you ask. guys who get to this age without ever being married or with a very long-term SO have issues - i agree that not everyone wants/needs marriage, but the inability to form some type of partnership by his age suggests something is amiss
carhill Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 they guy that i'll be going on a date with is 48 and never married. i didn't want to dig deeper but do you think there's something wrong with him? any single 40 somethings want to explain? I've got a friend like that. Born a week after George Clooney, same year, and looks remarkably like him. He's very picky about the women he associates with. People have often wondered out loud if he's gay but I don't get that vibe from him. Very religious and unfailingly polite with women. Classic 'nice guy'. Getting to know your guy will tell you if 'something is wrong with him'. Everyone is different. Only way to find out is to interact. Good luck.
NeverPlayaPlayer Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Eh??? I am 47 next month, never been married and have no children...i am currently dating a 28 year old Spanish model and have other female interests if i so desire.... why should there be something wrong with me? Are the divorce stats dropping or something? Look further than the end of your nose. As others have said, if he is still living with his mum and has other social issues, then yes, theres a problem but if he is a secure and confident man then stop worrying....
goldengirl11 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 sadly, this is my bf... but anyway, if he's 48 and never married there is an issue - it'll come out, but not by you asking. his actions/comments/lifestyle will reveal it within a few dates. don't ask - observe and you'll see. you'll make him defensive if you ask. guys who get to this age without ever being married or with a very long-term SO have issues - i agree that not everyone wants/needs marriage, but the inability to form some type of partnership by his age suggests something is amiss Oh sorry newmoon, didn't mean to cause any offence. I was talking mainly re a previous guy I had dated.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Eh??? I am 47 next month, never been married and have no children...i am currently dating a 28 year old Spanish model and have other female interests if i so desire.... why should there be something wrong with me? Are the divorce stats dropping or something? Look further than the end of your nose. As others have said, if he is still living with his mum and has other social issues, then yes, theres a problem but if he is a secure and confident man then stop worrying.... Look at this from the perspective of a marriage minded woman. To them a man who dosen't want to get married may be a bigger problem than one who lives with his (at age 48 almost certainly elderly and perhaps in need of care) mother.
dasein Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 No idea whether anything is wrong with him or not, but can say assuredly that he has never -failed- at marriage. 2
Imajerk17 Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 I once read a quote on a blog (I forget whose so my apologies for not attributing the quote properly) that essentially stated, there is nothing "wrong" with a man who is over 40 and never married, but it's quite likely that he hasn't been wise in his love choices. I find that statement says it all. Meet him, see what's up, but don't expect too much from him prematurely (assuming you are looking for marriage/kids/whatever.) Interesting. And someone who is divorced HAS likely been wise in his love choices? 1
Yookie Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 Why does everyone HAVE to get married? Some people simply don't want a roommate. Everyone doesn't have to get married but a women who wants to be married in the future should not waste time on guys who never want to be married. They don't share the same relationship goals. 1
El Brujo Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 FYI I'm 45 and never married, but then again I'm openly asexual AND picky. Is there something wrong with me? Who do you think I am, Sigmund Freud??? However I DO take issue with the remark about living with one's mother... I moved in to take care of my mother when she was dying of cancer, even though I didn't have to. Any woman who thinks there's something wrong with that, doesn't deserve a man IMO.
newmoon Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 FYI I'm 45 and never married, but then again I'm openly asexual AND picky. Is there something wrong with me? Who do you think I am, Sigmund Freud??? However I DO take issue with the remark about living with one's mother... I moved in to take care of my mother when she was dying of cancer, even though I didn't have to. Any woman who thinks there's something wrong with that, doesn't deserve a man IMO. moving BACK IN to help out is ok... never having moved out = major problem. and moving back in to help someone who is sick doesn't last for years imo, so if it's something that drags on for years it becomes a handy excuse
El Brujo Posted December 21, 2012 Posted December 21, 2012 moving BACK IN to help out is ok... never having moved out = major problem. and moving back in to help someone who is sick doesn't last for years imo, so if it's something that drags on for years it becomes a handy excuse Lesson: be nice to Mother... she'll will you the house.
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