aed Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Are people mostly jealous without anyreason or is it 99% of the times the behavour of the spouse.
Spark1111 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Are people mostly jealous without anyreason or is it 99% of the times the behavour of the spouse. NO! Some people ARE jealous without reason. And that can kill a relationship. It is insecurities, their own, that they project onto their SO. However, if all of a sudden, you feel a shift in the matrix, and all of a sudden you have unexplained feelings of jealousy, trust your gut. Why do you ask?
Author aed Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 NO! Some people ARE jealous without reason. And that can kill a relationship. It is insecurities, their own, that they project onto their SO. However, if all of a sudden, you feel a shift in the matrix, and all of a sudden you have unexplained feelings of jealousy, trust your gut. Why do you ask? for the philosophy of the subject.
BetrayedH Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Someone recently said something to the effect, 90% of the the time, if you are at the point of wondering if your spouse is cheating, they are. I don't know if he had stats to back up the claim (infidelity stats are hard to come by due to the deception involved) but it would be interesting to know. In my own experience, I have learned to trust my gut and once I learned that lesson, it's rarely been wrong. I never thought it would be possible for my wife to cheat but once my gut said I had better check it out, I found more depravity than I could have imagined. Again, I trust my gut now. That said, I think it can be very different early in life. I once had to break up with a very jealous girlfriend that I really loved because she was so obsessive about it. I was perfectly faithful to her but we would argue about it for 3 hours on long-distance (anybody remember that?) and I eventually had to let her go. I never really understood it but it ruined our relationship.
Spark1111 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Someone recently said something to the effect, 90% of the the time, if you are at the point of wondering if your spouse is cheating, they are. I don't know if he had stats to back up the claim (infidelity stats are hard to come by due to the deception involved) but it would be interesting to know. In my own experience, I have learned to trust my gut and once I learned that lesson, it's rarely been wrong. I never thought it would be possible for my wife to cheat but once my gut said I had better check it out, I found more depravity than I could have imagined. Again, I trust my gut now. That said, I think it can be very different early in life. I once had to break up with a very jealous girlfriend that I really loved because she was so obsessive about it. I was perfectly faithful to her but we would argue about it for 3 hours on long-distance (anybody remember that?) and I eventually had to let her go. I never really understood it but it ruined our relationship. The ninety percent is the number released by Private Investigators, many of them retired police officers. By the time you call them, 90% find the evidence you hoped they wouldn't or couldn't find.
waterwoman Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Never been jealous before H's affair. I have no intention of being so again. I hate the feeling. The onus is on him not to f*ck up a second time, not on me to police it. He knows this. I can't go through this again.
Thegameoflife Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Are people mostly jealous without anyreason or is it 99% of the times the behavour of the spouse. Jealousy is just the name of the emotion experienced as a result of envy. It's essentially selfish contempt for another for what they have, or how someone is treating them. The root cause is insecurity. People compare themselves to others, and feel worth less to society or an individual for not having the same. My point is, it's actually nobody's fault except your own if you're jealous. To answer your question, jealousy is never anyone esle's doing. People can trigger your jealousy through their behavior, but your jealousy is really a sign that personal growth is needed to reach a state of mind where you accept and love yourself regardless of how you compare to others. I'm not a religious man, but for a very good sign of how undesireable envy is; the Christians made it a mortal sin with the knowledge of how destructive that mindset is. That being said; being suspect that someone is deceiving you, is not jealousy. Just be sure it's not jealousy deceiving you into thinking something is going on. If your wrong, you're going to do damage.
Thegameoflife Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 Never been jealous before H's affair. I have no intention of being so again. I hate the feeling. The onus is on him not to f*ck up a second time, not on me to police it. He knows this. I can't go through this again. People die every year from the weather. We don't walk around with contempt for the clouds and the wind, because that is the nature of weather, and sometimes we are simply caught up in it. The nature of people is not much different. Sure people can build mental walls to hold back their nature, but history has taught us nature can destroy any man made wall. Unless you do indeed walk around angry at the wind and rain, why do you condemn the nature of another? You can either accept that nature makes a mess once in a while, or go find someone else to be with. I can assure you that you can't run from the weather, or the nature of people.
Recommended Posts