plainjane79 Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 So earlier in the summer, I dated this guy who was super-keen on me for the first month, then just kind of faded on me but never completely disappeared. He would still call and text from time to time, and ask me to hang out a few times a month. Like a dork, I still had feelings for him but figured it was pretty clear he was no longer "that into me" and didn't try to clarify, just kept seeing him casually (no sex but kissing/hand-holding, texts/calls every few days, etc.) This went on for about two months. I was dating around in the interim but not really hitting it off with anyone. A few weeks ago, he asked me to see a movie with him but due to differing schedules we couldn't meet and decided we'd see it the next weekend. The weekend came, he sort of flaked on me, said he'd ended up going out of town camping and had no cell battery, blah blah blah. He said we could do it during the next few days but I was busy and said forget it. We decide we'll try again next weekend. Next weekend comes, same thing. He's out of town camping all Saturday, calls me much later that night, says we can get together Sunday. Sunday comes and he says he has housework to take care of since he was gone all Saturday, but definitely next week. By this point I'm kind of irritated just at being disrespected so I say fine, let me know. NEXT weekend comes, AGAIN totally unreachable Saturday but calls me the next day and says we should get together ASAP. So we do, that night. I ask when he'd gotten so into camping, is he going with friends, where does he camp, etc. His reaction? "Why are you interrogating me?!" I say "Ummm...it's called a conversation. Should I consider it an interrogation everytime you text me and ask what I'm up to?" And he says "Fine, I won't text you then, all you had to do is ask!" I say "ok...." So we get dinner, see the movie, then go for a drink. I tell him that I am honestly not interrogating him, I got the feeling we were friends now and I am genuinely interested in what he does in his spare time. I also tell him that I was a bit annoyed that he would just flake out on me multiple times without shooting me a text saying that something had come up and he couldn't make it. He says "I am hanging out with you tonight, what more do you want?" So finally I say "I would understand if you are seeing someone else but I'd really appreciate it if you'd tell me. I don't want to get in the middle of something like that if I can help it." He basically laughs at me and says "What the hell?! That makes absolutely no sense. You're crazy." So we part ways, he texts me the next day with some inane BS and I haven't heard from him since. Is this guy seeing someone else? If so why the heck is he being so secretive about it? Isn't that the perfect excuse to end this stupid junior high school relationship we have going on now if he doesn't want to see me anymore?
Ami1uwant Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 You pretty much called him on it and he didnt want to be honest. It sounds as if you were option B or C with him while he dated others. Without knowing the time of the year this was...the camping thing could have been legit. He could have decided to do a guys weekend camping or renting out cabins in an area where cell ocverage likely doesnt exist. the other weekend could hhave been getting togehter witht he guys for overnight hunting trip.
Author plainjane79 Posted December 19, 2012 Author Posted December 19, 2012 You pretty much called him on it and he didnt want to be honest. It sounds as if you were option B or C with him while he dated others. Without knowing the time of the year this was...the camping thing could have been legit. He could have decided to do a guys weekend camping or renting out cabins in an area where cell ocverage likely doesnt exist. the other weekend could hhave been getting togehter witht he guys for overnight hunting trip. Thanks for the response! As for the camping trips, I believe he was camping but I doubt it was with the guys. That part gets even more weird/immature. He said he went a few times with a group that he found online. After that he kept "teasing" me, saying "Yeah those camping group chicks are HOT, you should see them!" And THEN he asks if I'd like to come with them; I say sure, just to see what he'll say. He says "Never mind, I take it back." He also told me later on that he was afraid if he told me more details about the group, I'd show up one day and go with them. The whole time I'm sitting there thinking "....WTH?"
TaraMaiden Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 I'd be sitting there thinking "why theF am I still even talking to this jerk?" 2
DC4 Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 I think you should cut all ties with this clown immediately. There is NO reason to entertain this erratic behavior. Sorry to sounds crappy, but he clearly doesn't respect you and I'm not sure he even likes you :/
Ami1uwant Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Thanks for the response! As for the camping trips, I believe he was camping but I doubt it was with the guys. That part gets even more weird/immature. He said he went a few times with a group that he found online. After that he kept "teasing" me, saying "Yeah those camping group chicks are HOT, you should see them!" And THEN he asks if I'd like to come with them; I say sure, just to see what he'll say. He says "Never mind, I take it back." He also told me later on that he was afraid if he told me more details about the group, I'd show up one day and go with them. The whole time I'm sitting there thinking "....WTH?" hmmm...that is odd....unless the geoup is an organization he is affiliated with like some activity club that does camping trips. Some teenager groups do some sort of camping trip in the summer, or winter time ski clubs do summertime activities which would involve camping trips. A random online campoing trip...not buying it. He maynot have gone. What he is saying sounds if he wants to stoke something with you. There is something odd there.
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 I'd be sitting there thinking "why theF am I still even talking to this jerk?" ...and you should also be asking: WTF did I drop everything and hop to it as soon as he said "let's meet tonight"...after he had blown you off for weeks on end! You're a last-ditch option, for him. Please stop making him such a priority! 1
snowflakes88 Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 As others have posted, the real question is why you lower yourself to continue dealing with him and jumping when he deigns to hang out with you. I've posted in your threads about this guy before, and the answer is the same as it has been from the start. It could not be more clear that he is not into you and sees you as someone to hang out with when he has nothing better to do, or when his first options are unavailable. He treats you this way because you allow it. And he doesn't "end" it because there's nothing to end. You guys barely see each other, so I wouldn't even say you are dating. He knows you're available to hang out at a moment's notice when he happens to be bored/free, and he doesn't have to offer you anything in return. You don't demand reliability, you don't demand consistency, you don't demand respect for your time - you don't demand anything. Why WOULD he "end" that? He gets all of the benefit without having to do anything for it.
Author plainjane79 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Posted December 20, 2012 Yeah I'm finally done with him, maybe a little bit too late to salvage my dignity completely but better late than never, I suppose. I still don't think this absolves him of blame for behaving this way though. He's not a teenager or a twenty-something...his behaving this way at his age makes him a pretty rotten person. I guess I'm just still really curious as to what makes a grown man behave this way, even towards someone who "lets" him. I mean, if he's that disgusted by me, he should just move on. Why hang out with someone who you feel that hostile towards?
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