Stuey141 Posted December 19, 2012 Share Posted December 19, 2012 I was with my ex for 4 months, she was 18 and I am 28 and we had a perfect relationship, really was so good! Then out the blue she said she was having thoughts about her ex and it wasn't fair on me, then I found out a few days later she slept with him, she was still texting me and said it was a mistake but she was scared and confused! She continued to text me saying i made her really happy and im an amazing guy. This went on for a few weeks but she wouldnt meet me so I went no contact. Then 6 weeks later she text asking how I was, I replied a blunt message and she replied back, I ignored her again and then 3 days later she just sent me a smiley face! I ignored that, then 5 days later, last sat I saw her out, with a different bloke, and she wouldn't even acknowledge me and was saying to my mates she doesnt see the problem as im back with my ex, which im not! It has killed me and set me back 2 months to the beginning. I left the club. Then Sunday morning she text asking why I was upset.. So I replied and said I don't understand how we went from where we were to this, and I said I haven't even seen my ex so that's rubbish! She said well at least we cleared that up, and are we ok!? I don't understand why she would text me and then a few days later completely blank me and be so cruel, seeing as she mugged me off at the beginning. I miss her so much, just can't work out why she is doing this, are they mind games? Is it her age? Or does she want a reaction and maybe still like me! I have been in a fair few relationships and we were so happy none of this makes sense! I was understanding her being confused with her ex, but if she is seeing this other guy I don't no why! Maybe she isn't buy I can't get it out my head.. I'm not contacting but next time she does I feel like giving her a load of crap Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stuey141 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 Any ideas??? Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 She doesn't know what she wants. But she isn't with you. Unless she's texting you asking to try again then she doesn't want you. Now if I just took my own advice 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stuey141 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 She did say a few times she adores me but is confused, it's just so weird how literally the day before she was sitting with me looking at holidays and the next day bang it's over. I was understanding with the whole ex thing, but the texting and then ignoring me when we finally saw each was horrid, and then to text in the morning asking why I was upset, silly as was obvious! I'm not texting her and see what happens but the thoughts of what she may be doing is horrid. Her parents weren't happy with the age gap and I do wonder wether that may be holding any further relationship. The fact she does keep some sort of contact at least shows she did like me but don't no what to do?? Or not to do?? Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I was with my ex for 4 months, she was 18 and I am 28 and we had a perfect relationship, really was so good! Then out the blue she said she was having thoughts about her ex and it wasn't fair on me, then I found out a few days later she slept with him, she was still texting me and said it was a mistake but she was scared and confused! She continued to text me saying i made her really happy and im an amazing guy. This went on for a few weeks but she wouldnt meet me so I went no contact. Then 6 weeks later she text asking how I was, I replied a blunt message and she replied back, I ignored her again and then 3 days later she just sent me a smiley face! I ignored that, then 5 days later, last sat I saw her out, with a different bloke, and she wouldn't even acknowledge me and was saying to my mates she doesnt see the problem as im back with my ex, which im not! It has killed me and set me back 2 months to the beginning. I left the club. Then Sunday morning she text asking why I was upset.. So I replied and said I don't understand how we went from where we were to this, and I said I haven't even seen my ex so that's rubbish! She said well at least we cleared that up, and are we ok!? I don't understand why she would text me and then a few days later completely blank me and be so cruel, seeing as she mugged me off at the beginning. I miss her so much, just can't work out why she is doing this, are they mind games? Is it her age? Or does she want a reaction and maybe still like me! I have been in a fair few relationships and we were so happy none of this makes sense! I was understanding her being confused with her ex, but if she is seeing this other guy I don't no why! Maybe she isn't buy I can't get it out my head.. I'm not contacting but next time she does I feel like giving her a load of crap she's 18. 18 year old girls like to sleep with guys that give them attention. they also have their whole life in front of them and MOST LIKELY are not ready to settle into a serious relationship for ever and ever, no matter how much they tell you they are. edit: i didn't mean "all" 18 year old girls like sleeping with guys that give them attention. just that anyone girl or guy, being younger, love exploring the world, and holding them back will only cause you problems. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stuey141 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 I no I never tried to make it serious, just have fun as I wasn't ready to go crazy serious as just left a 5 year relationship! Guess I was enjoying having the laughs and giggles a bit more... She was in a relationship for a year and half before me so maybe she does want to enjoy being young, doesn't make it any nicer She did say she wished she had met me in 2 years, but I just cannot get her out my head and it totally is against my character Link to post Share on other sites
NavyAirTraffic Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Fitz is right. Also, think about who you are now versus who you were at 18. I'm 33 and I recently started discovering who I am (took my BU to get here). Who she is right now is not who she will be 2, 5, 10 years down the road. She's evolving, almost like taking a drive across the country. She liked your town, she stayed for a while, but the journey must continue. Don't take it personal, you are not bad or unlovable. Just remember for next time, you can bang as many 18yr olds as you like, DON'T involve your feelings. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stuey141 Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 Yeah my mates did warn me, but as the months went by I just got closer and now feel like a melt as just feel so down! It's harder when I hear she tells people who ask what happened how amazing I am and she adores me but just can't be in a relationship.. Still don't no why she would be with another bloke right infront of me, that's really got to me and not sure i deserve that If she texts do I just ignore completely this time? Coz I'm going round in circles and it feels each time I get back on track she gets in contact... Link to post Share on other sites
NavyAirTraffic Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 If she texts do I just ignore completely this time? Read the "successful NC" link in my signature and the GIGS thread, then decide what you want to do. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Yeah my mates did warn me, but as the months went by I just got closer and now feel like a melt as just feel so down! It's harder when I hear she tells people who ask what happened how amazing I am and she adores me but just can't be in a relationship.. Still don't no why she would be with another bloke right infront of me, that's really got to me and not sure i deserve that If she texts do I just ignore completely this time? Coz I'm going round in circles and it feels each time I get back on track she gets in contact... she can only be with other guys "in front of you" if you are around her. what's the solution to that? DON'T BE AROUND HER. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bumaga vsyo sterpit Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 It's got nothing to do with age. This could've happened with a girl/woman of any age, except maybe the ones in their 30s who are only looking for serious relationships to settle down. As a guy I started off my teens with an incredible level of mental development, zero social intelligence, and no knowledge of women. Ten years later I haven't noticed any strong difference in any of these levels; I plateaued off. Lots of women are flaky by nature, ice princesses, especially attractive women. Lots of women don't look for serious relationships (even if they say they are, just like they say they want a cute, smart, funny nice guy professional) for their adolescences and the vast majority of their young adult lives. There are exceptions, and more traditional societies where everyone who's looking for a relationship really does want to settle down, but this is my general conclusion. You'll always get reactions like this from certain women you date. But at 28, you've got to have moved past the ability of a breakup/dumpee to destroy you, man. Link to post Share on other sites
Samilia Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 I was with my ex for 4 months, she was 18 and I am 28 and we had a perfect relationship, really was so good! Then out the blue she said she was having thoughts about her ex and it wasn't fair on me, then I found out a few days later she slept with him, she was still texting me and said it was a mistake but she was scared and confused! She continued to text me saying i made her really happy and im an amazing guy. This went on for a few weeks but she wouldnt meet me so I went no contact. Then 6 weeks later she text asking how I was, I replied a blunt message and she replied back, I ignored her again and then 3 days later she just sent me a smiley face! I ignored that, then 5 days later, last sat I saw her out, with a different bloke, and she wouldn't even acknowledge me and was saying to my mates she doesnt see the problem as im back with my ex, which im not! It has killed me and set me back 2 months to the beginning. I left the club. Then Sunday morning she text asking why I was upset.. So I replied and said I don't understand how we went from where we were to this, and I said I haven't even seen my ex so that's rubbish! She said well at least we cleared that up, and are we ok!? I don't understand why she would text me and then a few days later completely blank me and be so cruel, seeing as she mugged me off at the beginning. I miss her so much, just can't work out why she is doing this, are they mind games? Is it her age? Or does she want a reaction and maybe still like me! I have been in a fair few relationships and we were so happy none of this makes sense! I was understanding her being confused with her ex, but if she is seeing this other guy I don't no why! Maybe she isn't buy I can't get it out my head.. I'm not contacting but next time she does I feel like giving her a load of crap uhm, because she's still short of being a teenager? 18 is young to feel serious about a relationship. I'd get someone older. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stuey141 Posted December 21, 2012 Author Share Posted December 21, 2012 I agree with all that's said, and I just need to avoid her an places she is for sometime and I guess the Hurt will go... Do sit sometimes and wonder wether I'm just not liking being on my own, have gone from a 5 year relationship literally straight into this and now I feel lost to be honest! Have started the gym, going 5 days a week to re build the self confidence which for some reason has gone. That's the strangest thing, this is so out of character for me, I'm usually confident and laid back, feel completely the opposite.. People do say that I need to be on my own to actually find myself, is this a good idea?? Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 People do say that I need to be on my own to actually find myself, is this a good idea?? sortof. you need to be confident and secure in your own life and SHARE that with another person. you don't want to be codependent on someone else to make your life whole. so yeah, generally you'll find that by being alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stuey141 Posted December 23, 2012 Author Share Posted December 23, 2012 Really want to contact her but have got to stay strong! Hate these days... Against my character got in a fight Friday night, broke my wrist.. Have no idea what's happening to me Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stuey141 Posted December 28, 2012 Author Share Posted December 28, 2012 Made a silly mistake Xmas day and am back to square one Had a message from my previous ex and ended up having a chat, little did I no it was to hurt me by saying she was now dating a mate of mine and going to Thailand for 5 weeks! Been apart from her for 7 months after 5 years but it still hurts. I left her and met the younger girl I have been talking about on here. Anyway all this happened Xmas day, got really drunk and hadnt heard anything from my ex, the one I miss like crazy, so text her merry Xmas and she replied with the same, so I replied and she was blunt! So in the state of hearing the other news and got really drunk and I called her, and asked her what went wrong coz it was so good and how can she treat me so bad! She just said sorry, it was hard for me as my family hated it! And I was like but we were so happy surely they could see that, and she said I was really happy and we got on so well but something wasnt right... Just sent me right back.. I'm not getting a proper answer so somehow need to stop putting myself back! I'm sure it's her age but with the other news I feel like crap I must say Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted December 28, 2012 Share Posted December 28, 2012 (edited) Had a message from my previous ex and ended up having a chat, little did I no it was to hurt me by saying she was now dating a mate of mine and going to Thailand for 5 weeks! Been apart from her for 7 months after 5 years but it still hurts. Dude. If she's into Thailand, or her current bf is, then I say, you are better off without her. Thailand is a disgusting country to visit , as the overwhelming majority of people (men, women, and couples) visit it for sex-related reasons. I am sure there is more to the overwhelming majority of people's visits to that country than sightseeing... It's nowhere I'd want to be, and anyone who goes to Thailand and I have no proof that they REALLY just went to purely non-sex-related areas, is no one I want to associate myself with, whether they're a friend, an ex, or a bf. As simple as that. My bf was into Thailand, and he went there 4 times a year (one of these trips took place while we were in a relationship). He claimed for sightseeing but I know better. He did admit that he spent most of the day in bars, talking to what he called "bar girls" (prostitutes). He also claimed he got a 2-girl massage, but claimed he didn't get the "happy ending." He probably lied about that. Psychologically, he probably thought that admitting to the massage and denying the happy ending (handjob or bj) would be more convincing than denying that he even got anything like a massage from sex workers, but really, I am not buying his claim that he didn't get sexual services. There's plenty of countries one can go sightseeing -- why Thailand of all countries? I call bull**** on claims that it's for sightseeing. Edited December 28, 2012 by NoMoreJerks Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stuey141 Posted December 28, 2012 Author Share Posted December 28, 2012 Yeah it's not the place she would ever want to go, but each to there own, that hurt that she was with a mate, or ex mate should I say but I don't have any feelings of wanting her back which is nice! It's my last girlfriend I'm struggling with, cannot whatever I do, get her off my mind! But think her age is all to do with it coz none if it makes sense! Gym was my only release but last Friday I broke my wrist Need a break big time away from here and the constant reminders and problems Link to post Share on other sites
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