How do I know if his intentions are genuine this time?

[Gemma29]

I have recently re-kindled my relationship with an ex.

We were together for nearly 4 years and have a son together. He left me and started a relationship with another woman. We were seperated for 2.5yrs. He left his gf for me.

Problem being he classes his ex gf as his best friend and still wants to spend time with her. He has moved out of their home and is living with his parents.

My issue stems from the past. I found out a month or so ago he slept with another woman while we together, so he hid this infidelity from me for over 2 years. He also hid his relationship with his ex from me for over a year and still continue a physical relationship with me during that time. I told her once I found out and she continued on with the relationship. Over the last year of their relationship he has been in constant contact with me and not in a platonic manner. He has left her on 3 separate ocassions and went back within a couple of weeks.

This tme he has been left for 5 weeks and he spents time with me and stays at my house (which he has never done before) he talks about our future and plans to stay over for the few days at christmas. He claims that he has never got me out of his mind and he should never have got in a relationship with his ex as they were more friends than lovers.

But my issue is he still spends time chatting with her over texts (loads of them) and in person at her house. He is honest with me and tells me beforehand etc. He hasn't told her we are back together and he said he isn't sure whether he will.

Am I being naive? or is he genuinely wanting to be with me and he does want a platonic relationship with his ex?

Obviously this is a very short version of what has happened and if you need further detail please ask x

[WhatYouWantToHear]

Am I being naive? or is he genuinely wanting to be with me and he does want a platonic relationship with his ex?

 

A lot more derogatory words come to mind before that one, but since you used naive, I will just agree. Yes, you are being naive.

[DepthOfField]

Never ever ever get back to someone who wasn't faithful in the past.

 

Cheating/Infedelity is like cancer. Once you get it, it's almost impossible to get rid of. If it goes away, it hides then comes back later.

[mammasita]

You're being more than naive.

 

This is a huge cluster ****. SO SO Many red flags. Where should I start:

 

He is still "best friends" with the ex that he left you for.

He cheated on you and hid it for 2 years.

He hid his relationship with his ex.

 

You would be a dummy if you took this guy back.

[sadpanda87]

that man is not worth it, think about your other options. think very hard...

[TaraMaiden]

Your issue is NOT from the Past.

Your issue is a very real and present one.

Don't make this your future, you will live the remainder of your days regretting it.

 

Big Time.

[Esoteric Elf]

Anything I have to say has basically been summed up by the previous posts. I will only add that, even if you two do discuss and eventually get married, the only question is time; he will leave you again.

[RhapsodyinBlue]

Girl you better run or better yet tell him to run. He's staying in your house?

 

The whole situation sounds bad to me. I say leave him alone. Know your worth and choose you! Also, find a man who is willing to choose himself AND you and know your value.

[HaveFaithxx]

You are being extremely naiive.

 

If he wants to get back together with you, and says he could never get you off his mind, then why is he sending loads of texts and talking to his ex, i.e. his "best friend"? If you were/are always on his mind, he would not be giving his ex so much attention. Everyone who is in love describes their partner as their best friend. YOu have been with his much longer than this other girl and you have a child together, yet you are not his best friend????