DepthOfField Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 (edited) Hi All! I'll try and keep this as brief as possible: My Ex GF and I were dating for 3.5 years up until a month ago. She's a terrific, attractive girl that shares much in common with me. She's been really crazy about me as I've been with her. We're both really really generally nice/good people. When we reached the 3 year mark, I starting having bouts anxiety and sleeping issues which eventually took a toll on myself and the relationship (I didn't realize it at the time). During the same time, I began to really start questioning whether I wanted to marry her, and although I loved her, it was still hard to say. I wanted a break from the relationship just to look at it from a different lens, but a counselor advised against it, and told me just to end things if I'm having doubts. I loved this girl and didn't want to let her go! The past couple of months, my anxiety got really bad. We were having a conversation one day and she asked if I saw a future with her, I replied that I wasn't certain (I know, NOT music to a girl's ears, but hey, I was honest). Another week went by without much talking and eventually I got an email calling it quits, seeing that she can't move forward with me in this state. She also stated my A phone call that followed the email, she kept on saying we needed "time off", "time away", "need space". I initially put up a fight, but at the end, I was respectful for her need for space. It sounds like she left a SMALL window of opportunity for a reconciliation. We've been NC since the BU 1 month ago. This time away is been a HUGE wake up call. My feelings have grown for her during this time and I'm ready to commit. I really really want to give it a second chance, but I want to give it a LITTLE bit more time, as I'm still working my anxiety and sleeping issues. I don't think she'll believe me how much I improved over a 30 day period. She has NO IDEA how I feel now. Again, this girl has loved me for so long, and I'm fairly certain she hasn't checked out after a month. We've been NC and she might be thinking I've checked out all along. The more I wait, the further she probably is. I'm afraid if I don't make an attempt to get her back and knowing myself, I'll spend the rest of my life questioning whether I should have. Should I: (A) Let her know I'm working on myself and make an attempt to win her back, at the risk of being set back (although I don't think I can feel any worse). (B) Accept the loss and move on. Continue NC. Hope for nothing. © Accept the loss and move on. Send her a short, respectful, dignified "Goodbye/Thank You" note thanking her for all the memories and everything she's done for me. Thanks everyone! Edited December 19, 2012 by DepthOfField
Arabella Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 It sounds like she left you because she couldn't deal with your lack of commitment and current issues... not a lack of love. You should absolutely contact her and tell her how your view has changed. it's up to her to decide what she wants, but it's definitely worth trying given your situation. -A
sadpanda87 Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 contact her, be hoenst. if she's the one she'll understand. i would say A, you're afraid of commitment but maybe you'll sort that out some day.
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