lovebug1234 Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 okay the guy i've been crushing on is finally back from his trip. he asked me out on a date, few text after he suggested going back to his place so he can make dinner for me. obviously sex is on the mind, for the both of us. we haven't actually been on a date. we had brunch once. i'm super sexually attracted to him. and my guess is that he's attracted me to. i've only know him for less then a mo and we've only met up twice, as friends. i decided to opt for the dinner at his place option. i Want to sleep with him really bad but I also don't want to sleep with him. there MIGHT be some potential for Long term but right now, all I feel is the sexual attraction. my body says HAVE SEX with HIM, my brain say NOOOO. What should I DO?????
Tara247 Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Don't do it this soon. You will be pumped and dumped. You'd better wait on that. 1
yongyong Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 If you have sex with him, just say to yourself 'oh it just happened....' That's how women justify themselves
sweetkiwi Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Well going to his house is putting yourself in the position to have sex. So unless your will power is strong, which it doesn't sound like, you WILL end up in bed with your legs up in the air. So have fun, be safe, and If things go wrong, remember he's not the only man in the world. 2
Tara247 Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 (edited) tara, how long to wait? I'd say to go for it on the 5th date, but before that happens find out if he's looking for a relationship. Don't ask him on the first date, but you need to find out what he's about before you have sex with him. That is providing that you want a relationship and not just casual sex. P.S. I agree with Sweetkiki, I would not go to his house if you don't want sex to take place yet. You will be greatly tempted there. If he puts the moves on, and he will, it will be very hard to resist him. GIven your attraction for each other, it's like walking into a lion's den. Also, you could go for sex on the third date, if you can't wait for date five (although I would wait). If you do that though, again, first find out if he's looking for a relationship, and also if he's into you or just into having sex with you. Edited December 19, 2012 by Tara247 1
phineas Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Just do oral. Make sure he knows how to use his tongue & he knows you know how to use yours. 1
Tara247 Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Just do oral. Make sure he knows how to use his tongue & he knows you know how to use yours. Not on the first date, Phineas. He will lose respect for her. You know how you guys are.
sweetkiwi Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Imagine if the sex roles were reversed. Women using men and seeing them only as fhuk sticks. It'd be sad to see all the posts by guys crying about being used by the sexy girl next door just for her own pleasure. I actually know a woman like this and guess what. The men feel bad about being used. Not like it was an easy score.
phineas Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Not on the first date, Phineas. He will lose respect for her. You know how you guys are. Yeah, I know how us guys are. If he is digging her the way she is, then he won't lose respect. But then again, this guy is probably picking up the fact that she wants him bad. He may see it as an easy score. This. but only if he really digs her which is admittedly hard to tell at this point. The OP & guy are not strangers. I've slept with women I worked with or had in class on the first date. I don't consider it "first date sex" because we were not strangers.
phineas Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Imagine if the sex roles were reversed. Women using men and seeing them only as fhuk sticks. It'd be sad to see all the posts by guys crying about being used by the sexy girl next door just for her own pleasure. I actually know a woman like this and guess what. The men feel bad about being used. Not like it was an easy score. I screwed up so many chances at being used a fhuk stick. All because I wasn't the type of guy to try & sex a woman I just met in a bar. I've learned my lesson though. Too bad i'm not really interested in casual hook-ups right now. But, i'm sure after beating my head against the wall trying to find a relationship i'll just start sleeping with those women who hit on me just looking for fun. Guess it sucks to be me.
sweetkiwi Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 No darling it doesn't suck to be you. Imagine having a world of sex at your fingertips and declining because what you really want is someone to love you and love them. And on top of that being super horny 24/7 and basically having the mentality of a man. But actually being a woman and being constantly judged for being sexual, and lied to because you posses a vagina. That sucks. 2
crude Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 i Want to sleep with him really bad my body says HAVE SEX with HIM. What should I DO????? When a man feels like that, he has sex. No reason why you can't too. Ironically, this would be a little early for me, even though I'm a man.
DC4 Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 I pretty much have sex when I want to have sex. I'm too old to be scheming. 4
mitchell Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 How long since you've had sex? Perhaps some masturbation before you go on your date if you don't want to succumb to your desires too early in your relationship.
sweetkiwi Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 How long since you've had sex? Perhaps some masturbation before you go on your date if you don't want to succumb to your desires too early in your relationship. This won't work. In fact, it will have the opposite effect. 2
mitchell Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 This won't work. In fact, it will have the opposite effect. Why not? Does that just make you hornier?
TheZebra Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 If you want a long term relationship with the guy, having sex now is probably not a good idea. You want to make sure he digs YOU, not just what you have between your legs. If all you want is a good time, then go for it.
crude Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 I keep hearing how you shouldn't have sex right away if you want a long term relationship. However, if a man isn't getting anything from you, then you're not really in an exclusive relationship and he's probably going to get it elsewhere. Is that really what a woman wants? Seems to me it sets a precedent, and if you ever get married, he'll think nothing of being with another woman if you deprive him of sex for whatever reason, even pregnancy.
monicaelise Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Why not? Does that just make you hornier? Yes. Men and women tend to work a bit differently in this regard. 1
TheZebra Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 I keep hearing how you shouldn't have sex right away if you want a long term relationship. However, if a man isn't getting anything from you, then you're not really in an exclusive relationship and he's probably going to get it elsewhere. Is that really what a woman wants? Seems to me it sets a precedent, and if you ever get married, he'll think nothing of being with another woman if you deprive him of sex for whatever reason, even pregnancy. Except in this case she hasn't even had an official date with the guy and it doesn't look like they're in any sort of relationship. I don't think it's unreasonable to want a relationship before having sex with someone. I'm not saying she should wait X number of dates or months, but to at least wait a little bit before giving up the goods. I think it's a HUGE slippery slope to assume that because a woman waits to have sex with you means that she's going to withhold sex in the future. And honestly, if a guy is so desperate for sex that he can't wait a few dates for it before 'looking for it elsewhere' then I don't want anything to do with him anyway.
sweetkiwi Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Why not? Does that just make you hornier? Yes for me at least. It also produces pheromones which will make him MORE attracted to her.
sweetkiwi Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 When it comes to having sex with a guy, we're damned If we do, damned If we don't. OP should do whatever she wants without dilluding herself into thinking there will be no consequences.
kaylan Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Yeah, I know how us guys are. If he is digging her the way she is, then he won't lose respect. But then again, this guy is probably picking up the fact that she wants him bad. He may see it as an easy score. Ill say this again. Time limits in sex have NO bearing on if a guy likes a girl or not. If he likes you, he wont care if you have sex the first date or 5th date. Do what feels right in the moment. The girl Im currently seeing I had sex with on our second meeting, which was our first real hang out alone. A week prior to that we had met at a party. She asked me several times if I viewed her differently because we had sex quickly, and she kept trying to tell me shes never had it happen that quickly in the past. I told her it had nothing to do with how I view her as a woman or as a potential partner. Shes a great girl, and I can tell she doesnt sleep around, so I dont care that things went quick with us. The timing felt right for us, the sex was fantastic, and we like one another. Thats all there is to it. Stop putting sex on this unnecessary pedestal. If it feels right, do it. If it feels wrong, dont. 2
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