NateC Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Before I get started with this...I have to say this site has been immensely helpful. I've posted quite a few times with my own issues and everyone's been supportive. I've also contributed to some as well. That said...after the last girl I attempted dating didn't work (she friendzoned me...then basically stopped contacting) I decided to give it another shot and signed up for OKCupid - because free, right? I did all the little profile things and started browsing...sent a couple messages. Well, a few hours later I get a reply back (shocking considering how low of a response rate most sites have) and I start talking to this girl. She seemed really interested in getting to know me, so we exchanged numbers and moved to texting since it was easier. Since then...we've been talking basically every day about anything and everything. It's different than the last girl I talked to it seems ...she'll sometimes text me first, ask me how my day was ...things like that. We've gotten to know each other fairly well. After about a week I feel it was my chance - and I told her I'd really like to meet her. She agreed...and it's an actual date! Planning on meeting shortly after Christmas since she just came back from college and the whole holiday craziness. Now my question is...what are usually the do's and don'ts? She basically told me no kissing on the first date (because she wants to know me more personally) and meeting in a public place which I'm absolutely fine with. Since it's my first actual date (seriously) my nerves will definitely be high even if I'm comfortable with her now ...so pointers would be much appreciated!
dasein Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Active, specific date, no dinner/movie, no hangout at one of your places. Find something fun in your area that she would enjoy, close to her, that is not a long date. Keep it under 3-4 hours max no matter how much fun you are having. No long-ass infinidate on the first go. Active as in walking around. Fun and flirty conversation, riffing off the things around you. NO heavy talk about any heavy topics including talking about kissing or anything sexual or relationship oriented. Let her know by your posture, eyes, body language that you want to kiss her but are trying to restrain yourself. When she is laughing, if she touches you, leans into you, puts head on shoulder, you are in, and should stop, get to a relatively private place and kiss her. No need to wait til the end of the date, that's boring. If she isn't physical at all on the first date, that's cool, give it some time. Good luck.
Author NateC Posted December 19, 2012 Author Posted December 19, 2012 Hmm...with winter in full swing finding a place to walk around is a bit harder, but maybe the mall would be perfect since she lives close to one. She told me she'd like to show me some places around where she lives...so we'll see. She specifically mentioned no kissing on the first date, but anything can happen I suppose (note: having never dated I've also never kissed a girl )
Author NateC Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 So an update: We're planning the first date to be in a week (next Friday) provided she can get out of the house then (she still lives with her mom and she's...protective). So, it'll be a "secret" first date! We were talking yesterday and she actually said she already likes me but being honest in saying she's not sure if she wants a serious relationship or just dating for a while. I told her I was willing to just date until she's ready for that step ...because where's the rush? Did I do the right thing in that case? Even though we haven't met we share a lot of common interests and are definitely compatible personality-wise, so maybe I could "change" her mind the more I see her.
Vercetti Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 LOL don't tell her you love her and how this is the most amazing time you have ever had in your life. You seemed to make this out as being your first date ever, so wanted to warn you about that Try to stay calm and not react to any anxiety you feel. One way to do this is simply let her talk till you come up with something relevant to say. Might be a good idea to stay away from religion and politics and keep it music movies and favorite colour simple. Don't lie...you don't have to volunteer negative information, 'just don't be silly and make up something outlandish you think she wants to hear. She said no kissing, you could still go for holding hands. As for kissing there is the old 90% thing, i.e if you lean in 90% of the way if she wants to she will make up the other 10%. Try to read any eye contact and expressions to judge her comfort level ( if she scoffs at something you do...don't keep doing it ).
Author NateC Posted December 23, 2012 Author Posted December 23, 2012 Of course - we've been talking quite a bit for a few weeks so we know each other fairly well already ...although I'm sure we'll always have something to talk about since it's always been that way. I'm looking forward to seeing her Friday!
weee111 Posted December 23, 2012 Posted December 23, 2012 Just be yourself and have fun. Frame it in your mind that you are going to meetup with someone and see if you click, and if you don't it's not a big deal. Show her the real you, don't go too out of your way to try and impress her...but do make sure you take care of her in the sense that the date goes smoothly (pay, know in advance what you are going to do, check that the place you are planning to go is open and what the hours are, if they take reservations make one even if you don't think you need one, etc)
Recommended Posts