Why does my boyfriend try and make me feel ashamed?

[SecretlySad]

Rather than compliment me on how I look, often my boyfriend will make snide remarks if I am wearing something that he deems too e.g. low cut, short, transparent etc. He tells me it is disrespectful to him and he doesn't like when other men stare at me.

 

I am not out there wearing any kind of skimpy outfits, I just happen to be thin with large breasts and I am proud of my body because I work hard for it.

 

Most days I wear jeans and a singlet. I wouldn't be caught dead leaving the house in a short skirt without having some kind of shorts on underneath. I prefer long pants, even on the hottest of days.

 

Anything that is "sexy" he frowns upon.

 

I am a very sexual person but I don't have much desire to have sex with him any more due to the way he makes me feel. Why is he making me feel ashamed of my sexuality? He makes me feel SO guilty

[KraftDinner]

I have an ex like that.

 

He's likely threatened. If you look too good, you have options besides him.

[whichwayisup]

This is his issue, not yours. Do not let him make you feel bad! Or guilty!

 

You have been blessed with big boobs and you keep fit, therefore have a great body. He should be proud of that and be happy that you chose him. He should be flattered that others find you hot and sexy, not jealous and maybe worried about it.

 

He has to get a grip and stop being insecure and jealous..And, stop making you feel bad about yourself.

 

Does he have trust issues? Meaning does he get upset if you speak to another guy or have guy friends?

 

How is the rest of your relationship?

 

Talk to him and tell him how he is making you feel and explain to him that he needs to trust you and have faith that things are fine, nothing to worry about. The resentment you feel will only get worse, it's already having an effect since you don't desire sex with him right now.

[Lois]

Insecure and unhappy people put others down because it makes them feel better about their miserable selves.

 

He can only make you feel ashamed if you let him ... don't give him that power.

[darkmoon]

if he's insecure why don't you put his mind at rest tell him he's wonderful

but then if he loves you this much so he gets jealous - ask him to propose

 

insecurity hurts, it's not fun you should comfort him

Edited December 19, 2012 by darkmoon

[Radu]

He probably feels insecure about other potential men looking at you.

 

I've seen this dynamic quite often in relationship between 'hot' girls and their orbiters when they do decide to give said orbiters a chance.

They are 'in' and are afraid they will lose her, so they start being controlling.

 

Were you friends with your bf before you got together ?

Was he like one of your gf's ?

Did you decide to give him a chance after a bad breakup from an ex ?

[SecretlySad]

Were you friends with your bf before you got together ?

Was he like one of your gf's ?

Did you decide to give him a chance after a bad breakup from an ex ?

 

That's EXACTLY what happened - how did you know?

 

I was going through a horrible breakup and he was the only person on my 'side'.

[CptObvious]

You're way better than him. He doesn't have the looks or the ability to keep you around. That's why he's scared to compete, he knows he's gonna lose if a guy like me comes along and decides to pick you up. Remember babe, you pick the champion, you decide who gets to have you. He's powerless. He's just a guy who was at the right place at the right time. You will naturally end up with whoever is good enough to have you. Your bf ain't even a player, he's a loser. Losers don't get to hold on to a trophy like you. Restore a little balance into the game. Drop him and put yourself up for grabs again.