Grinder88 Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 I hate to say this but recently my girlfriend of just shy of a year has started to bore and even annoy me. We live about 40 minutes apart. I still care for her but it seems like we always do the same old stuff together. Sit at my or her place and watch tv, or go see a movie. Sure we still laugh and have fun but its just not exciting. When we text I can usually guess to the word what she is going to say a day of texting consists of a few constant repeated phrases (love you, kisses, hehe, rawr and miss you.) I swear I could write down a conversation tonight and could guess her responses word for word. I'm 22 shes 20 and we met at a bar. I still would like to go out and drink and have fun like we used to. But every time I suggest it she says I can go she doesn't want to. (in that tone that means she would be upset if i really did) We used to have a lot of fun going out on the weekends now that doesn't exist. I also feel like I'm her only connection to a social life anymore. She has no friends. I don't know what the deal is with that but if I'm not giving her attention she is bored and gets all down in the dumps. I've also noticed that if I decide to take a night with the guys she doesn't protest but there is a 90% chance she will text me throughout the night and at some point she will be sick and have a major headache or something and tell me she needs and misses me. I feel like I'm almost to a breaking point she has started talking about moving in together and the M word. I'm just afraid this will all just get worse. Ill lose my social life and well be hermits that stay in all day. I need more excitement I feel like I'm missing out on my life. I guess I just want some kind of advice whether it be from personal experience or just opinions. Thanks for anything
Author Grinder88 Posted December 19, 2012 Author Posted December 19, 2012 Maybe i should also state that this is the longest and the first real relationship I've been in I had always previously been a sort of drifter never staying in one spot to long and maybe that's just coming back to me a little here
SmileFace Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 She is way too comfortable. Not having friends -- she needs to know you can't be her only life line. I think you need to talk to her and see if it changes. If not ... this relationship just may be done.
dasein Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Different take on this, it's up to you to take the reins here and create an external life you both can enjoy. She may not like bars and nightlife; consider the alternative here many men complain of, and I have experienced several times, of a woman who is a slave to attention who simply has to go out drinking/dancing with girls dressed up and getting ego stoked by guys. What you have can be better than that with a little attention and planning. Surely there is an external activity of some sort you can enjoy together. If she resists that, move on, you aren't compatible. But if you loved this person once and have simply fallen into a rut, things can change if you get proactive and lead the relationship. Good luck.
newmoon Posted December 20, 2012 Posted December 20, 2012 i would just say that you're very young and, as you continue to gain more relationship experience you will often encounter this problem. it's natural that relationships slow down the longer we are with someone and that at about 1-2 years we fall into a routine/rut. it's easily fixed if you still like the person - take up some new hobbies together, do interesting new dates and activities and stay away from things like movies/tv/dinners where there is little interaction required. go out and do things. if, for some reason, she's resistant i would be honest and express to her that your dates seem a bit dull and you'd like to try new things. and don't fault her for the cute texts - women like that stuff and if she didn't do it you'd miss it. sometimes we dislike routine until it's gone - then we want it back
Recommended Posts