Jono85 Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 The "I still love you, but..." line is a dame fake light in the dark for the dumped. It's the false hope that keep's us believing that the ex care's and will care enough when they realize how much they miss us. (7 months and counting) I don't think they love us. I still love you line is bull****. It sounds like they are talking about there favorite food. I love pizza. I care for you, I used to love you. Is how they really care. i think once you're over this ex, you're going to realize how much it DOESN'T MATTER what the dumpers say. i see you continually making threads and to be totally honest, you don't seem to making much progress in your healing. i'm not looking down on you or anything, i, myself, haven't done so well in the whole progression thing. BUT... our exes/dumpers are human ppl. these were ppl that in most cases, truly cared about us and loved us for a period of time. but for whatever reasons, they got to the point where they weren't happy anymore. that's it. life is all about trying to reach happiness. flat out, they weren't happy anymore in the relationship, and probably hadn't been for some time (could be 2 weeks, could be 2 months, could be 2 years...) before breaking up with us. NOW, there's NO easy way to break up with someone that you DO truly care about. if you're too caring, too nice, allow the dumpee to use you for comfort, the wrong message could very well be sent and the dumpee does NOT let go too well. that being said, who wants to be nasty to someone they DO love. they still probably love you as a person and the time you shared together, but they don't see you as 'the one' to spend the rest of their life with any longer. they most likely do feel guilt, altho i'm sure this varies quite dramatically from person to person/relationship to relationship. no one wants to tell their ex they've cared for for the last _____ "i don't love you anymore...it's over forever." they might not even know if what they're doing is the right thing to do. many many dumpers deal with regret...i definitely have and tried to win her back. the point is, stop focusing so much on WHAT WAS SAID. it really doesn't matter in the slightest. u need to grasp that. actions speak louder than words. the fact that they don't want to be with us anymore romantically really speaks more than any words can offer. in your case unfortunately it seems like he's pretty certain (it's been 7 months as u say). but u need to start moving FORWARD. stop dwelling in the past. he's not a part of your present life. forgive him, if it helps, for saying those things at the BU. u don't know that he didn't feel awful about some of the things he said, and just hasn't reached out, out of respect for you b/c he doesn't want u to deal with anymore pain. bottom line, work on letting it go, and continue healing. when you feel ready, which u will, you'll be excited to find the new love of your life and u'll feel indifferent towards all of this. 2
flitzanu Posted December 19, 2012 Posted December 19, 2012 Is it just me but it seems like everyone is dumped. Venting about pain, asking each other questions with no answers. I haven't see that many dumper's come forward and say, well, this is how is it. This is what it was like when i dumped someone. I'm going to take a wild stab at this, and say they aren't trying to figure out things. That they aren't going back, but forward. Dumper's lead us your ear, are you out there? and what happened? what is it you're trying to figure out? they dumped you, it means they don't want to be with you. that's pretty simple isn't it? 1
Recommended Posts